From what I’ve been told and most definitely, definitely have not experienced, is that the art of watching pornography has changed massively over the last decade. It used to be that if you wanted to tickle your pickle, you’d need to visit your local pornographic merchant, conveniently located off of main street and next to that weird guy who wants to sell you some top-quality “uppers”.
VHS tapes and DVDs could be found on the shelves, catering to any oddly-specific perverted niche that would get you hot under the collar, such as my “friend’s” insistence on watching moves that involved copious amounts of custard. These days however, you can get whatever your organs desire beamed directly to your mobile device or any other manner of hardware, for free.
Because if there’s one thing that pornography does well, it’s adapt to changing times like a Borg cube on steroids.
Now, I’ve totally been told and have not checked myself, no way nuh uh, that PornHub is one of the top websites around for a five-knuckle shuffle. You can apparently access it on just about every device possible, including your gaming console. And it looks like PlayStation owners enjoy some fiction friction the most. That’s according to Pornhub’s end of year stats, which revealed that PlayStation took the top spot in the video game porn market share. Back in 2013, PlayStation rose to the occasion to be crowned number one, before the Xbox One beat them off in 2014.
2015 saw a limper Xbox fail to perform however, dipping 17% while the PlayStation felt an erect 17% increase in traffic share. Other consoles such as the PlayStation Vita took home 5% of the traffic, sharing with the 1.3% of the market that the Nintendo 3DS claimed. But size matters most, as the PlayStation 4 ended 2015 with a market share of 51.9% in total to the Xbox’s 37.9%. Here’s the fancy graphic to gawk at:
There’s some other interesting stats there regarding hand to gland combat. About 1892 Petabytes were streamed last year, while the USA had the largest number of viewers per capita when it came to playing tug of war with the cyclops and doing the two-finger tango. Worth a read, if you have the time. Or so I’ve been told.
Last Updated: January 12, 2016
Ottokie
January 12, 2016 at 10:33
I think PC users might have the upper hand on those statistics.
Alien Emperor Trevor
January 12, 2016 at 10:36
hand. huehuehue
MisterSmurf
January 12, 2016 at 12:00
Consoles have vibrating controllers….
Alien Emperor Trevor
January 12, 2016 at 12:44
Yeah, but I’ve heard a lot of PS4 owners complaining about how the rubber breaks quite easily.
Hammersteyn
January 12, 2016 at 10:40
I wonder if consoles keep track of browser histories O_o
Ottokie
January 12, 2016 at 10:41
Who uses browsers on consoles anyway?
Alien Emperor Trevor
January 12, 2016 at 10:54
I know right? By the time you’ve managed to type in your search criteria the moment’s passed and you’re not in the mood any more.
Hammersteyn
January 12, 2016 at 10:58
Agreed, much easier to find a women instead.
Alien Emperor Trevor
January 12, 2016 at 11:03
Easier to give up entirely #foreverSP
Hammersteyn
January 12, 2016 at 11:04
hehe
RinceThis
January 12, 2016 at 10:48
I agree, Darryn in once again grasping at his straw, I mean, straws 0_O
oVg
January 12, 2016 at 10:35
Ex-Boners 😛
Alien Emperor Trevor
January 12, 2016 at 10:36
Sony Pornies!
Hammersteyn
January 12, 2016 at 10:37
PS 17% up and XBOX 17% down….. People sold their XBOX and bought a PS4 obviously
VampyreSquirrel
January 12, 2016 at 10:42
Didn’t you get your PS4 during that period?
Ottokie
January 12, 2016 at 10:44
Also around the same time Guild locked him up in a room to ONLY practice Rocket League 😛
Hammersteyn
January 12, 2016 at 10:45
…………….sunny outside isn’t it?
VampyreSquirrel
January 12, 2016 at 11:00
You don’t know? Get away from the PS4 man!
Alien Emperor Trevor
January 12, 2016 at 10:40
I’m surprised. Because if it’s really like a Borg Cube on steroids, the xbone should be a perfect fit.
BakedBagel
January 12, 2016 at 10:41
PS holds the marketshare atm, between consoles? (this is a claim, does anyone know?) If thats true.
Then surely anything PS users do will be more so than Xbone users?
Jan Prins
January 12, 2016 at 10:45
Bwahahahahaaaaaa You Said Xbone!
Rikarudo
January 12, 2016 at 11:10
More than 50% actually, so logical numbers. Even when they report a game sold more on the ps4 than on xbone. Seems logical there as well.
Mistake Not...
January 12, 2016 at 10:42
Who watches porn on a Wii?
Ottokie
January 12, 2016 at 10:42
…U
VampyreSquirrel
January 12, 2016 at 10:43
Geoff
Mistake Not...
January 12, 2016 at 10:44
Only thing it’s good for really.
*Runs from Geoff not entirely sure if he has a Wii or not
Hammersteyn
January 12, 2016 at 10:46
He’d buy one just so that he can be offended 😛
Hammersteyn
January 12, 2016 at 10:52
Mario tried, but the princess is on another freecam
Ottokie
January 12, 2016 at 10:53
Who was on the first? Toad?
Hammersteyn
January 12, 2016 at 10:54
Yup, and on the second,third,fourth,etc.
Umar
January 12, 2016 at 10:46
DAAAAAAMN, how desperate do you have to be to watch porn on a 3DS???
Ottokie
January 12, 2016 at 10:47
400 x 240 pixels xD
Umar
January 12, 2016 at 10:48
LOL hey, when ya frisky, even a thumbnail suffices…Uhmm…That’s not to say I know about it…
Ottokie
January 12, 2016 at 10:48
Yea right, we all had the first ever colour Nokia’s waaaay back when in school 😛
Umar
January 12, 2016 at 10:50
LOL “sms HOT to 30305 and get a steamy picture on your phone..haaa”
Just reminds me of those etv ads…not that I watched late night etv
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
January 12, 2016 at 10:57
THOSE ADS!!!! I’ll never forget, staying up late and somehow they started advertising it during a 10 o’clock movie… right at the same moment my phone starts beeping…my parents were not highly impressed…
Hammersteyn
January 12, 2016 at 10:58
Privacy flies out the window.
Umar
January 12, 2016 at 11:00
LOL yeah, times where they start early with those ads. Still watching the action flick and boom, you see fire and the screen and a lady’s voices that you hear on all the ads lol
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
January 12, 2016 at 11:03
Ah man…. those were the days… horrible days…
Mossel
January 12, 2016 at 11:18
Yeah who does that? I mean with random shows like Emmanuel…who watches that?!
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
January 12, 2016 at 11:23
Like Pablo Francisco said, those movies are there to demonstrate how not to move furniture….
Mossel
January 12, 2016 at 11:25
hahaha! Man I need to watch that again! Pablo Francisco, not Emmanuel…
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
January 12, 2016 at 11:30
That guy…His Arnie impression is still one of the best!
Dresden
January 12, 2016 at 13:53
Little Tortilla Boy xD
Alien Emperor Trevor
January 12, 2016 at 10:51
Old school!
Hammersteyn
January 12, 2016 at 10:52
Magazines, older school
Ottokie
January 12, 2016 at 10:53
Everyone had that “perfect” hiding spot 😛
Hammersteyn
January 12, 2016 at 10:53
O_o other than under the mattress?
Ottokie
January 12, 2016 at 10:54
That’s lazy xD
Hammersteyn
January 12, 2016 at 10:55
that’s why doors have locks……. my friend said
Ottokie
January 12, 2016 at 10:56
Kids today have it so easy, it’s even idiot proof with hints
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/f9/73/cf/f973cf9180efcbbadd5f9b9afffcb666.jpg
Geoffrey Tim
January 12, 2016 at 11:14
come in handy? Indeed.
konfab
January 12, 2016 at 11:46
A “printer” folder in System32. 😛
Hammersteyn
January 12, 2016 at 10:48
Bus/train rides can be long?
Umar
January 12, 2016 at 10:48
Who watches porn on the bus?…Unless…It’s the Bang Bus…not that I know what that is.
Geoffrey Tim
January 12, 2016 at 11:14
Well, apparently there are 3d videos on porn hub – and the thing can can play 3d video.
Umar
January 12, 2016 at 11:31
:O Well unless you have a NN3DS, it’s gonna be awkward keeping that angle just right.
Jan Prins
January 12, 2016 at 10:47
Pornhub. Putting the Play in Playstation.
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
January 12, 2016 at 10:47
Err…. Okay, so people have no issue displaying their needs on a television set, let’s hope they at least have curtains that are closed when said uhm…”activities” take place… would be quite a story if your neighbour, you know….
Jan Prins
January 12, 2016 at 10:48
Pornhhub. Putting the Bone in your Xbox.
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
January 12, 2016 at 10:49
Or your hand….
Hammersteyn
January 12, 2016 at 10:49
Pornhub. Putting the Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee in WiiU
RinceThis
January 12, 2016 at 10:53
Wave that controller!
Jan Prins
January 12, 2016 at 10:57
I never went Wheeeeeeeeeeeee watching Porn.
Hammersteyn
January 12, 2016 at 11:00
http://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aq5Lpxp_460sa.gif
Umar
January 12, 2016 at 10:52
Can people in your friend list see your browsing activity?….Asking for a friend
Hammersteyn
January 12, 2016 at 10:53
Don’t think so. But people can see what app you’re using by default
Umar
January 12, 2016 at 10:55
Oh so you’ll just see they’re using the browser or something? Shoo…I mean, my friend will be relieved.
Jan Prins
January 12, 2016 at 10:55
I see a .36% spike in the divorce rate. And a 75% spike in the De-Wors rate…
Alien Emperor Trevor
January 12, 2016 at 10:53
Why not just check your… friends… browser activity for yourself?
Umar
January 12, 2016 at 10:56
I don’t think my…..friend….wants anyone to see his browsing activity.
Hammersteyn
January 12, 2016 at 10:57
Why not? People would think he’s browsing for seafood
Umar
January 12, 2016 at 10:58
I think people would find space seafood a bit suspect
Alien Emperor Trevor
January 12, 2016 at 10:59
Tell them you’re researching tardigrades. I mean, your friend.
Umar
January 12, 2016 at 11:01
Lol good save. I’ll be sure to use it next time…I mean I’ll tell my friend about it..yes.
Hammersteyn
January 12, 2016 at 11:01
okay so alien life then. Look! A Spaghetti monster
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
January 12, 2016 at 10:59
HAHAHAH!!! “eksotiese mossel toebroodjie” returned zero results….
Galbedir
January 12, 2016 at 10:57
Hand to Gland combat! Hah! Genius! Never heard that one before.
Rikarudo
January 12, 2016 at 11:07
OR… Since there are more PlayStation users it is logical to have those numbers and we are all disgusting animals, even the apparant Pokemon fans using the 3ds… and I do feel old now, I’m still using my pc
oVg
January 12, 2016 at 11:09
David Bowie FTW 🙂
RinceThis
January 12, 2016 at 11:11
Random post on a porn topic 0_O
Alien Emperor Trevor
January 12, 2016 at 11:11
I guessed he was feeling the phantom shame.
RinceThis
January 12, 2016 at 11:12
Put your money where your mouth is! 0_O
Alien Emperor Trevor
January 12, 2016 at 11:12
I’m not that flexible.
RinceThis
January 12, 2016 at 11:31
Definitely too stiff…
oVg
January 12, 2016 at 11:13
Over 40 bud. I now use the spores from my skin to make women pregnant.
Alien Emperor Trevor
January 12, 2016 at 11:13
Just like an Ork.
oVg
January 12, 2016 at 11:13
cool
RinceThis
January 12, 2016 at 11:16
I thought that was for your breathing?!
Alien Emperor Trevor
January 12, 2016 at 11:18
Two birds, one stone?
oVg
January 12, 2016 at 11:18
evolution
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
January 12, 2016 at 11:22
that does sound more like a macro mutation though….
oVg
January 12, 2016 at 11:33
Ive also started click talking in my sleep.
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
January 12, 2016 at 11:41
I’d recommend seeing a doctor for that, or standing back from the microwave when you heat food, having three arms might sounds cool and all, but the new one keeps getting in the way…
oVg
January 12, 2016 at 11:43
RAD
RinceThis
January 12, 2016 at 11:30
I always said he loved himself way too much…
oVg
January 12, 2016 at 11:11
Well, its not as if Geoff would post anything about MGSV 😛
schitsophrenic-toothbrush
January 12, 2016 at 11:10
Hmmmm seems like playstation is beating Xbone in everything hand over fist….badum tish 😀
Hammersteyn
January 12, 2016 at 11:10
XD
Loftus
January 12, 2016 at 11:12
Ok so Playstation out sells Xbox how many to one? Why then is it a surprise people watch more porn on PS.
And i can fully understand why these stats came about. People play BloodBorne on Ps, they die, thus the need to rub one out. Then they try again
schitsophrenic-toothbrush
January 12, 2016 at 11:15
My next game after fallout is Bloodborne, guess Im going to need vaseline for both ends 😛
Hammersteyn
January 12, 2016 at 11:29
No, it’s not a EA game.
schitsophrenic-toothbrush
January 12, 2016 at 11:30
Boom!
HairyEwok
January 12, 2016 at 11:46
Change in traffic from 2014 to 2015 is way coincedental. The Xbox loses 17 and the PS gains 17….. Seems like people traded in those Xbox for a PS. Pern in HD!
Francois Knoetze
January 12, 2016 at 13:29
slow news day ?
Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)
January 12, 2016 at 19:27
That’s not that surprising, considering that most xbots are eunuchs… cough cough!
Hammersteyn
January 14, 2016 at 07:43
PornStation?