There’s a great trope, taken from an episode of Happy Days, called “jumping the shark” and it’s basically the point where a story loses the plot entirely and veers off into lala land. Well we’ve just hit that point with video games thanks to the season pass for Dead or Alive 5.
The season pass idea was introduced a few years ago and basically gives you full access to all the DLC that a game is going to release in the coming months and years. Developers love it because they can easily gauge how invested their consumers are in the title and story and publishers love it because… well because of money I guess.
Then the accountants got involved and figured that instead of giving someone all future DLC for a set fee they would limit it to a time period and then if people were still interested they could attempt to get the season pass purchasers to fork out more cash for extra DLC after that time period.
That was a bit of a scumbag move but it is to be expected. However what I never expected to see was a season pass being released that was not only time-limited but which was also twice the price of the game itself. Dead or Alive 5 has just done that with a new season pass that includes 79 new costumes for an incredibly eye watering $92.99. That’s $1.17 for each costume and it only includes the costumes scheduled to be released from now until E3.
Now I do get it, DOA offers a…um…visual experience that some of us may not get to experience in the real world on many occasions. However for R1000 you can
- Go to Lollipop lounge 6 times and have R100 left for drinks
- Go the The Grand twice with R200 left for drinks
- Buy someone some sexy lingerie and have a good chance of seeing more than just that
- experience 1 Special night with a classy sex worker
- experience 15 special nights with a lady from Hillbrow
- buy 15 tickets to see 50 Shades of Grey (you’ll find someone)
Or you know…just buying a real game and going to pornhub like every other single male on the planet. Since it was reported by Dualshockers the season pass appears to have disappeared from the internet. It’s either a glitch or they realised that they were probably ripping people off here.
[Header via Deviantart, god bless the internet]Last Updated: February 18, 2015
Spaffy
February 18, 2015 at 09:15
Quite a list of things one can do with R1000 Gavin.
Is this your personal experience? XD
And R1000 for a visual experience? What a rip off. I’ll skip DOA
Gavin Mannion
February 18, 2015 at 09:27
*cough* maybe…. *cough*
Sean Carbutt
February 18, 2015 at 13:41
I just want to know, how do you know about Lollipop?
Raptor Rants A Lot:Original #7
February 18, 2015 at 09:18
I’ve said it before and will say it again. This industry is going to fail under its own greed.
Raptor Rants A Lot:Original #7
February 18, 2015 at 09:19
Also, that header makes me feel I should say
#StayStrongUmar
Sageville
February 18, 2015 at 09:40
Not enough tentacles to get Umar outta bed.
Raptor Rants A Lot:Original #7
February 18, 2015 at 09:44
Maybe the shark has a cute octopus friend?
Sageville
February 18, 2015 at 09:49
Now there is a threesome worthy of a National Geographic special.
Admiral Chief
February 18, 2015 at 09:52
Well that escalated quickly
Sageville
February 18, 2015 at 09:55
Actually that escalated at the normal LG escalation rate.
Get with the program!
Admiral Chief
February 18, 2015 at 09:56
No no, at least 7 more minutes before full escalation
Sageville
February 18, 2015 at 10:17
On tentacles? Surely you jest!
Blood Emperor Trevor
February 18, 2015 at 10:16
No need…
BangaRanga
February 18, 2015 at 09:23
The biggest question lies in knowing whether the dutch rudder will be incorporated into the latest release. I can not fathom a life without this valuable tool, it has the ability to be soft and supple while enabling you to game at your highest levels. Worst yet, there seems to be a tale of two rudders being overplayed…well to you sir I say this: Get yourself a can of beef ravioli and eat to your hearts content.
Hammersteyn
February 18, 2015 at 09:26
dutch rudder O_o
Admiral Chief
February 18, 2015 at 09:57
I’m too scared to google that…
Hammersteyn
February 18, 2015 at 09:24
Which pokemon is that in the header?
Thami Afurika-Jin HD
February 18, 2015 at 09:27
Hahaha!! Brilliant list
Hammersteyn
February 18, 2015 at 09:28
Agreed, well my weekends planned next time I fly up.
Ryanza
February 18, 2015 at 09:29
Don’t Support …. Oh well no1 listens to me. Boobs sell. Dressing up the boobs sell.
Timmy_1988
February 18, 2015 at 09:43
Western Propoganda
Ryanza
February 18, 2015 at 09:47
Oh my God. A shitty comment affected you this badly. Relevance. It helps.
Hammersteyn
February 18, 2015 at 09:33
Buying AAA games is not a pleasant experience anymore because the first thing that comes to mind is what DLC is being planned? What content are you not getting for not preordering the game? Will the season pass even have all the DLC *Looks at Evolve* I don’t mind buying DLC if it’s worth it but it just feels like companies are milking us because asking $60 for a game just isn’t enough profit anymore.
Gavin Mannion
February 18, 2015 at 09:34
On one hand I agree but if DLC can start becoming like cheap episodic gaming again I don’t really have a problem…
Some DLC is awesome and worth a couple of bucks…. but R1000 for costumes?
Spaffy
February 18, 2015 at 09:38
Costumes that bring nothing to the game except cheap (expensive) thrills to the point of almost degrading women. Shame on them.
Ryanza
February 18, 2015 at 09:42
All DLC in the gaming industry needs to fuck off. Only DLC that should be permitted is expansion pack DLC. And that DLC can only be released a minimum of 2 months after release of the game.
But if people are spending money on day 1 DLC and buying clothing shit DLC and pre-order DLC is working. Then give the people what they want. Broken, incomplete games where content is taken out and sold back to you. People don’t stop buying shit it seems. They are content with buying shit. So if they happy. I won’t be happy for them. Fuck em, for not knowing better.
Spaffy
February 18, 2015 at 09:43
Expansion pack. I miss those.
Timmy_1988
February 18, 2015 at 09:48
Fueled by the west, brainwashing the masses.
Raptor Rants A Lot:Original #7
February 18, 2015 at 09:49
Get over it
Ryanza
February 18, 2015 at 10:00
Blood Emperor Trevor
February 18, 2015 at 10:13
lol Gavin! See boobs in real life? That’s crazy.
BurnZ
February 18, 2015 at 10:39
Wow that’s CrAzY man!! Similar to the DLC for Evolve! there are hundreds of cosmetic changes and they all cost a pretty penny. No thanks!
Kensei Seraph
February 18, 2015 at 12:14
Could the header point at a remake of the Street Sharks cartoon?
Lardus-Resident Perve
February 18, 2015 at 12:22
“Go the The Grand twice with R200 left for drinks” – Entrance went up to R500 early last year already. Great 5-star buffet, so you can go in at opening time, spend the whole day alternating watching Super Rugby and the ‘in-house’ shows, and have a few great meals…
“experience 1 Special night with a classy sex worker” – Umm, I don’t think that is enough for much more than an hour with a ‘classy’ one…