Your very own phantom blade; a slick, awesome replica of the one that Arno uses in Assassin’s Creed Unity. We’ve got just the one to give away thanks to our friends at Ubisoft. We tasked you lot with coming up with cool, crazy ideas for a silly gun – with the winner, hand selected, becoming the proud owner of the collectible. Here’s who won it.
Well, here’s who would have won it if we’d relied on Random.org this time.
Thankfully, it wasn’t up to Random.org. This time, we put it up to vote by staff. Frankfully, most of the entries were creatively on the bankrupt side – or at least we thought so because so few of ‘em made us giggle. The winner then, by decree, is Hammersteyn, who made 2 of the 5 of us giggle for a few seconds. Because weaponised badgers are awesome.
Shoulder mounted canon that fires flaiming honey badgers infected with ebola!
Runners up were:
Sir GIF Sexy and his Ubi Blade
I shall call mine the “Ubi Blade”, which has the devastating power to send whoever it hits back in time to the womb, where they are born a bit too early, all glitchy, downright unplayable and in dire need of a patch. and
and PsyChoPanthis and his Slippy-Squishy-Bang-Bang
Seeing as I can no longer take the AC series seriously, my gun would have to be a banana launcher. And it will be called Slippy-Squishy-Bang-Bang, this may be a TL;DR but it will be worth it 😀
Why, you may ask? Well, come closer and I shall tell you!
Imagine a busy street, plenty of benches to sit on that make you NEAR INVISIBLE to anyone looking DIRECTLY at you. Your target is one street over. You stand from your bench of +100 invisibility and merge into a crowd of people who just so happen to be walking in the direction you need them to go. (Yet none of them wonder who this weirdo is who just butted in on their convo while walking to the nearest market)
You close in on the target, separate yourself from the crowd and approach, all stealthy like… in plain si ght during broad daylight.
You reach into your cloak and draw the SSBB, you then grab your target’s shoulder, whip him back and shove the SSBB into his eye socket and pull the trigger.
Chaos ensues! You make a dash to escape, dropping the spent magazine (banana peel doesnt sound as cool) behind you as the target’s companions pursue you. One of them slips on the spent SSBB magazine and crashed into the other. They recover and run around the corner, confused as to where you are… walking right passed a bench, not seeing the smirk on your invisible face.
Neither of them get anything other than a fleeting moment’s recognition and a thumbs up, but that’s just the way things work, unfortunately.
Last Updated: January 19, 2015
Aries
January 19, 2015 at 17:03
Well done @hammersteyn:disqus
Hammersteyn
January 19, 2015 at 17:09
Mandom (Umar)
January 19, 2015 at 17:11
Well done sir!!! Easy on the Parkour now, you hear?
Hammersteyn
January 19, 2015 at 17:13
Gonna try it out in the pub. It shoots real knives right?
Sir GIF Sexy
January 20, 2015 at 15:26
Sporks, actually… Goddamnit, I shoulda said The Sporker. :/
Mossel
January 19, 2015 at 18:05
Well done!
ToshZA
January 19, 2015 at 18:06
Grats man!!!! Enjoy 😀
HairyEwok
January 19, 2015 at 19:41
You have earned the sheen seal of wins, congrats
Nikola
January 20, 2015 at 10:01
Gongrats dude!!
Hammersteyn
January 20, 2015 at 19:42
Thanks Nikola!
*Congrats 😛
Hammersteyn
January 19, 2015 at 17:09
O_o poor Rants you guys are gonna give him a stroke.
ToshZA
January 19, 2015 at 18:07
Don’t pretend you didn’t laugh. A lot. 😛
Mandom (Umar)
January 19, 2015 at 17:10
LOOOOOOOOOOOL
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/67/0a/24/670a24fb4c2036c5e4ebc4ce232f0a35.jpg
Hammersteyn
January 19, 2015 at 17:14
Which one is Llew?
http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/358/7/c/all_hearts___seven_dwarfs_by_lynxgriffin-d5p367u.jpg
Raptor Rants A Lot
January 19, 2015 at 18:58
fffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Quo Vadis?
January 20, 2015 at 07:34
The one on the far right. Dopey. He’s the seventh one LOL
ToshZA
January 19, 2015 at 18:08
A picture speaks a thousand words. In this case, all of them rhyme with heaven. Ironic, isn’t it?
Jonah Cash
January 19, 2015 at 17:20
Well done hammer!! Nou het jy ‘n ban….. blade??? Dit werk nie!!
Hammersteyn
January 19, 2015 at 17:23
XD
Geoff Murphy
January 19, 2015 at 18:48
Damn! I totally forgot to enter. This is what happens when lagz asks me to be creative. All hail random.org!
Raptor Rants A Lot
January 19, 2015 at 18:58
Well done @hammersteyn:disqus
Also @OddSockZA:disqus you sir are the ultimate trooooooooooooooooooool
Hammersteyn
January 20, 2015 at 07:33
XD
Quo Vadis?
January 20, 2015 at 07:35
Look at it this way, you’re not seventh this time 😀
Captain JJ Saga
January 20, 2015 at 07:21
This is the funniest ever
Quo Vadis?
January 20, 2015 at 07:34
Congrats @hammersteyn:disqus. Well done.
Hammersteyn
January 20, 2015 at 19:41
XD
Ghost In The Rift
January 20, 2015 at 07:47
Nice 1 Hammer!!!
Hammersteyn
January 20, 2015 at 19:41
Thanks buddy 😀
Kensei Seraph
January 20, 2015 at 07:52
Congrats and well played.
If you decide you aren’t into violent weapons then feel free to send it my way instead.
Hammersteyn
January 20, 2015 at 19:41
LOL like I’m ever that sober
Allykhat
January 20, 2015 at 08:01
3rd 😀 YAY!
Well played @hammersteyn:disqus
Hammersteyn
January 20, 2015 at 19:40
XD
Rock789
January 20, 2015 at 08:14
Well played Hammer. Nicely done. 🙂
Rock789
January 20, 2015 at 08:15
And yes – I too want a gun that fires honey badgers… Especially ones like the one you hunt in the Fashion Week hunting mission in Far Cry 4…
Captain JJ Saga
January 20, 2015 at 08:57
Fashion week is soon in Cpt. You want to go on our own adventure and try some FarCry moves there? Or do you think they might call the police? 😉
Spaffy
January 20, 2015 at 08:19
Nice one @hammersteyn:disqus
😀
FoxOneZA
January 20, 2015 at 08:51
The mans words are weapons @hammersteyn:disqus
Sir GIF Sexy
January 20, 2015 at 09:42
I GOT RECOGNITION! I GOT RECOGNITION AND THAT’S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME! I’M SO HAPPY! OH, GOD, I’M SO HAPPY!… Also that rouge “. and” makes me look like a victim of my own weapon. :/
http://38.media.tumblr.com/ae1c7e34b3999d5f3a893a604a3472cc/tumblr_ndiz3cwy0p1r4gei2o1_400.gif
Hammersteyn
January 20, 2015 at 19:43
😀