Xbox Live parasite reckons Microsoft owes him $500 billion

Chop

The internet is filled with scammers and parasites who try to abuse legal loopholes for personal gain, and one such idiot, an Xbox Live user,  has come forward claiming that Microsoft owes him a rather tidy $500 billion. Here’s how it happened :

Arkansas resident and Xbox Live user David Stebbins claims that in signing up to Xbox Live, he entered in to a contract that is legally binding on both him and Microsoft. On May 6th, he “submitted a notice” to Microsoft stating that he was “unilaterally amending the terms of service,” and if that if his Xbox Live membership was not terminated within in 10 days, the new agreement would be automatically accepted through inaction. He reckons that corporations pull this all the time, sending mails and updated terms of service  assuming that the terms have ben accepted if users continue using said services.

On May 18th , he sent the company an invitation to arbitrate a dispute the user-amended terms of service, claiming $500 billion in damages. Included with the notice was a “forfeit victory clause,” stating that he’d automatically win the case if Microsoft failed to respond within 24 hours. He admits, however, that he ensured the notice wouldn’t be received by Microsoft’s legal department. "When I mail these documents to Microsoft,” he said “they won’t go to any legal division; I arranged for the mailings to be picked up by the employee that just collects regular mail! It’s quite possible that these employees won’t understand the legal significance of these documents, and know that they’re required to respond."

“As you probably guessed,” Stebbins wrote “the Defendants did not accept the invitation to arbitrate within 24 hours of receiving it. Therefore, I automatically won on May 19, 2011, per the forfeit victory clause.” So Microsoft, he claims, owes him enough money to buy all the Swedish hookers he’d ever need.

If you think Stebbins is just very cleverly poking fun at Microsoft and isn’t one of those internet parasites, you’d be mistaken. He’s done this sort of thing before. He’s filed more than a dozen similar legal complaints against other corporations, including Walmart. “Yes, I’ve sued ‘numerous organizations,’” Stebbins said to seattlepi.com. “What of it? I do not see how this means that my cases are frivolous.

“In fact, I see a lot of friends and family who get pushed around and walked on, who have causes of action against them, but they choose not to pursue those causes of action. Lots of people are victims of torts … few of them actually sue over them, but that doesn’t mean they can’t.“I, on the other hand, will not let people push me around, just because I’ve already filed a bunch of claims, already.”

Stubbins also claims to suffer from Asperger’s Syndrome, which is the general go-to disease of anyone found to be trolling the internet. Curiously, he didn’t send his amended contract to Microsoft in the way you’d expect, sending a single-page letter with a link to a now-removed Youtube video. “[I] will not be presenting any exhibits in paper format. To do so would put an undue strain on my printer. If it is not too much of an inconvenience, I wish to simply provide a link to a webpage,” he said in his motion. Nuts.

While his case will likely go nowhere and will lead to him being pointed and laughed at instead of yachting on the French Riviera, it is interesting to note that nowhere in the Xbox Live TOS does it state that users can’t try to amend the service’s terms of use. It does, however says that Microsoft will not liable for damages worth more than one month’s Xbox Live fee nor for any claims related to the contract – so if he does get something out of this other than public ridicule, it’ll be to the value of about $5.

Source : Seattlepi

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Author:Geoffrey Tim

I'm old, grumpy and more than just a little cynical. One day, I found myself in possession of a NES, and a copy of Super Mario Bros 3. It was that game that made me realise that games were more than just toys to idly while away time - they were capable of being masterpieces. I'm here now, looking for more of those masterpieces.


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