The 10 worst games of 2013

We’ve been through our list of the top 100 games of this generation and the top games of 2013 with our awards post here but what we really need to fight about is what were the worst games of this year. Which games not only did you waste your money on but also your invaluable time?

Now this is obviously totally subjective and is not measured by sales, technical quality or anything scientific like that. It’s measured on what I felt just sucked.

10. NBA Live 14

He looks disappointed to be on the cover

This title starts our list off as it was the first entry into the next generation of video games for the NBA series. Releasing on the Xbox One and PlayStation 4 at release these guys had the basketball world in the palm of their hands.

People were expecting top notch physics, graphics, AI and gameplay with the developer really harnessing the power of the next generation, but it was summed up perfectly by PSXtreme who ended their review with

“NBA Live is a colossal disappointment in more ways then one; the technical aspects are well below average, the physics and animations are some of the worst we’ve seen this year, the AI is mentally deficient, and worst of all, nothing about this feels real.”

9. Star Trek: The Video Game

Such graphics, wow, so amaze

It’s never a good sign when a company feels the need to state that their video game is a video game in the title. But maybe Star Trek felt the need to not confuse anyone as it really wasn’t much of a game after all.

The story was meh, the gameplay simplistic and the environments not anything to write home about. Not to mention it was full of bugs and simply did not entertain at all.

8. Deadpool

I was let down by the developers

When I saw Deadpool at Gamescom last year I have to admit I loved it. The humour was incredible, the fighting looked solid and the storyline as crazy as can be expected.

Unfortunately when the game finally released the fighting was bland, the storyline was idiotic, and not in a good way, and the entire experience was just the exact opposite of what you would expect from Deadpool.

7. Fast & Furious: Showdown

Vrooooooooooo oooph

It’s been a sad year for the Fast & Furious franchise with the lead actor, Paul Walker, dying in a high speed accident. But that wasn’t the only black spot on a hugely successful franchise.

This year they release their Fast & Furious: Showdown title onto the Xbox 360 and PS3 where it immediately starting racing to the bottom of all quality charts. The game was boring, bland and utterly predictable. If you want an exciting racing game then get Burnout and avoid this like the plague.

6. Ride To Hell

Apaprently all the women in this game get sexually abused

This game that hopefully no one has played gets its place on the list even though I’ve never played it. It is simply here because it is the lowest scoring game of 2013 on metacritic and the usually quite complimentary PlayStation Official Magazine UK summed it up with the following

“Riding to actual Hell over 1000 miles of broken glass using your own scrotum as a toboggan would be more enjoyable.”

5. The Bureau: XCOM declassified

So close... but in the end you failed

Not to be confused with XCOM Enemy Unknown which is a brilliant turn based strategy game, but XCOM the Bureau was their attempt to break into the first person shooter market and in doing so they brought some great ideas into the genre.

The slow motion strategy portions were a nice touch and the shooting was generally acceptable but this game that I first saw at E3 2010 was simply unfinished.

Buggy as hell and with a cut scene every time you walked through a door this game quickly became annoying. Add to that your idiot squad members who can’t do anything for themselves and it quickly becomes a trial by fire to even complete the game.

4. Angry Birds: Star Wars

MILKING IT

Angry Birds is a great franchise, granted it’s been milked harder than Daisy before Christmas but the base idea is pretty good and entertaining.

Angry Birds on the console works adequately enough, I mean all you are doing is flinging birds at pigs so that wasn’t hard.

The reason Angry Birds is listed here is simply because they tried to charge nearly full price for a game that you can pick up for $1.99 on the iStore and I even got my iPad version free the other day. It’s daylight robbery and Rovio should be ashamed for taking milking to an entirely new level.

3. The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct

This should scare me.. but it doesn't

I’m a huge fan of The Walking Dead TV series and when Telltale released that fantastic point and click adventure game last year I was blown away. So the idea that we’re going to be getting a survival based first person shooter version in 2013 had me salivating.

Then it arrived..  The game played terribly, was buggy as hell and looked absolutely terrible.

There was no survival aspect as you could fight off an entire horde or zombies quite easily with a pipe and in the end the game was simply bad.

2. Aliens: Colonial Marines

Please just eat me

Aliens: Colonial Marines was one of the most anticipated games of the year, it was finally time to head back into the horrifying world of mommy aliens with multiple mouths and to hook ourselves into mech suits to fight them.

Unfortunately what wasn’t what we got and I personally think Thunderbolt Games nailed it when they said

This is the very definition of a shameless cash-cow. Anyone of sound mind must steer clear.

Ouch….

1. Ashes Cricket 2013

ashescricket

We all saw this one coming, even though it’s a niche market game Ashes Cricket 2013 wins this inaugural award for being the only game I can ever remember that was released to retail and then subsequently cancelled and all the copies were recalled.

You have to be monstrously incompetent or arrogant to think you could release such a shambles onto the market and expect people not to complain and demand refunds.

You want to see how bad it is? Then take a look at this video, ignore all the normal bad quality game issues and fast forward to 9 minutes to see how AI should never be done.

And that’s it, so any games I should have listed that I forgot?

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Author:Gavin Mannion

I'm cranky, arrogant and ever so amazingly annoying but when you get to know me you will also realise I'm honest and incredibly good at describing myself... now pass me that beer
  • Unavengedavo(aka. MadeYouLook)

    Pokemon? *runs*

    • Bradford Dawson

      No. Just no.

  • Gustav Minnie

    I’m actually waiting for The Bureau: XCOM declassified to go on sale and grab it :)
    Deadpool I knew would be rubbish… it had this Duke Nukem Forever feel to it.
    Aliens: Colonial Marines would have been my number one because I pre-orded it. :(

    • http://www.lazygamer.net Gavin Mannion

      Aliens was the number one until the disaster that is the Ashes was revealed… but you should go get XCOM now.. it’s worth it and nearly infinitely replayable

      • Gustav Minnie

        Let me be clear on my The Bureau purchase. I’m looking for a $1.49 sale here and I’m coming off a Maniac Cop marathon (standards are very low atm)

        • http://www.lazygamer.net Gavin Mannion

          It’s definitely worth $1.49 :)..

  • bowlingotter

    My vote is for Dark. Ugh.

    • Lauren

      I loved Dark…

  • Lardus-Resident Perve

    The graphics on Jonty Rhodes cricket back in the 1990′s was better than that Ashes rubbish! Gameplay pathetic. “Edge and could be out” – meanwhile it is a 6 over long-off. Wow…just WOW!

    • dave

      They missed out a whole load of IOS/Android mobile and tablet games, 95% of which are total shovelware rubbish.

  • Umar of The Rebellion

    Dark was utter doo doo…and I was really looking forward to it :(

    • Acornbread

      Yeah, got burned too, ashamed to admit. The signs were there, in hindsight. :(

  • caponeil

    wahahaha – what AI!!

  • Nine

    i dont get it – Dynasty Warriors 8 came out this year to?

    • http://www.lazygamer.net Gavin Mannion

      I don’t like any of the Dynasty Warriors games so the most recent bad one made no impression on me

      • Cameron

        Dynasty Warriors is not a bad series, it has it’s niche. My eyes roll all the way down the street when people make ignorant generalizations and assumptions. Did you even play number 8? I didn’t think so.

        • Caditt

          DW8 was never be a bad game, neither it’s a good game. It’s just another monotonous sequel to it’s predecessor. It’s like COD for the most part.

        • Zorak

          Not a bad series? Gtfo, the DW series is the laziest, most humdrum copy-and-paste garbage I’ve ever played. I’ve played almost every game up to Strikeforce and they’re all literally the same exact game with different music- same rehashed story, same generic characters, same phoned-in dubbing, same mindless and easy gameplay, same ugly graphics with a 5ft draw-distance (even on the PS3/360!), I can go on. Those hacks at Koei can go shove it and so can you with your “ignorant generalization” crap.

          • Duelgundam

            If you think about it, there’s not much one could do about a game which has already been written into history, which means that they can’t tweak the plot without pissing off the historians, archeologist and Chinese people of the world, and there ARE Chinese gamers too.
            There’s also the fact that one of the characters is literally a god that people pray to *points at a certain Shu character*, I’m sure you would know who I’m referring to, since you’ve played the games before

  • ToshZA

    101 runs from 1 ball. Epic.

    • AJ Titanium

      not even kallis could top that

    • VampyricSquirrel Monk

      Never seen the team batting second win by 9 wickets AND 77 runs……

  • DrKiller

    I cant believe Deadpool is on the list… There were SO many games worse than Deadpool on there.. I loved every second of that game :)

    • http://www.lazygamer.net Gavin Mannion

      I think it was the level of let down I had with the game that got it on the list

      • Sageville

        Agreed, as a die-hard DP fan I wanted more, you always feel shite when they don’t do justice to your Fav heroes.

      • Just saying

        Then that’s personal bias. This should be “my personal list” if you’re going to have it on there. It certainly isn’t that bad of a game, and shouldn’t be on the worst list.

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  • DJSkippy

    lol, match fixing in broad daylight. How would the runs count if the one batsman managed to outrun the other?

  • Wayne Brown

    That cricket was the worst gameplay I have ever seen, quite funny though. Thanks for sharing how bad it really is, at least we wont waste money on it!

  • geelslang

    The Ashes video is one of the funniest things I have ever watched. It made my day, nice one.

  • carrie maker

    If you’re including sports titles on your list, then may I suggest an honorable mention for Pro Evolution Soccer 2014? PES has been awful since it first appeared on xbox360 and PS3. PES2014 is a half finished embarrassing shambles of a game, that Konami have left to rot, whilst they go off to promote a next-gen (possibly) F(r)ee to play version of the same rubbish ideas and attitudes on the PS4/XB1.

    Seriously, it is the very worst sports title on the PS3/XB360.

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  • GTFOConspiritard

    How is simcity not on here?

  • Willem Swanepoel

    SimCity got voted as the most disappointing game of 2013 by game trailers … LOL ;)

    The game deserves a better company … wish someone can sue a company for treating a game so bad that they can lose custody of the IP and a new company can take over without “paying a shitload for the IP” ;-)

  • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

    I’m surprised Sim City isn’t on this list. Now that game was utter and complete shit! On the bright side, it made me appreciate Tropico more.

  • Hammersteyn

    Simcity and Battlefield4?

  • CAE9872

    I would never be able to be a games reviewer – I see the good in every game I play. I am playing Contrast on PS4 and loving it. No its not the best thing ever but its great for a bit of R&R away from FPSs or Resogun.

    So I don’t have a worst game – be that 2013 or ever!

    Anyone else have that mindset?

    • Acornbread

      In a way. I have strange taste, sometimes I start playing something that I simply don’t enjoy for no apparent reason, even though I can clearly see it’s a great game and I enjoy other games in the genre. Then a few months later I pick it up and something clicks. Or not. Similarly I can enjoy something that’s rated poorly and the faults are apparent, yet something about the game draws me in.

  • CRC

    Nintendo fanboys are very happy now.

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  • VampyricSquirrel Monk

    LMAO!

    How the AI thought (yes past tense) in Ashes Cricket 2013…

    Fielders: Hey look a ball… LETS STARE AT IT.
    Batsman1: Look at these idiots… let’s run 100 runs while they stare at it!
    50 runs later…
    Batsman2: Dude! slow down! you’re not supposed to overtake me!
    Batsman1: Not my fault you’re slow!!! Bwahahahaha

  • xboxforsale
  • Russell Gorall

    GTA5.

  • Jan Kenneth Erland

    I would add cod ghost to that list.

  • EldritchAbomination

    Day one: Garry’s Incident was just awful, honorable mention goes to cod ghosts for infinity ward being massive assholes to PC gamers and locking the fov to 60.

  • leo

    wheres fifa 14 ?

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  • Lauren

    I really liked Deadpool… I don’t understand why so many people didn’t.

  • 1113u4i292

    The walking dead: survival instinct is actually a fun game, plus some jump scares make me shit myself. I think the the walking dead: survival instinct deserves better.

  • Adam Warren

    Xena: Warrior Princess for the PS2 should have been on this list…Omg..As a xena fan i would have paid £30 for it.. Luckily it was released at £10 lol. Awful..full of bugs, no lip lync, no hit detection, bad camera, weird controls..i could go on..and on…and ON!

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