Rambo is coming to ruin your memories 
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Geoffrey Tim
January 13, 2014 at 8:30 am

Rambo

There’s one game that Darryn’s most excited for this year, above pretty much all other games. We already know his taste in, well, just about everything is universally regarded as being terrible, but this really just cements it. He’s excited for the new Rambo game, despite all the audiovisual evidence that should convince him otherwise.

And there’s really nothing that does a better job of convincing you that Rambo: The Videogame will be absolutely terrible than the actual marketing material for the game. Here’s the game’s latest trailer, which shows the not-quite-AAA game in action.

Despite what you’ve just seen, the game’s producers are quite bullish about the game. they hope to bring the Rambo you know from 30 years ago, to life in this modern game, but keep that old-school legacy and heritage intact.

“We want Rambo The Video Game to give players the chance to take-on the classic scenes from the motion-picture trilogy through John Rambo’s eyes. And just as John Rambo was an expert infiltrator – not every mission will be based around pure shooting skills: silent bow takedowns and perfectly timed stealth (lethal or nonlethal) eliminations will be required too,”  Piotr Latocha – Producer at Teyon said on the PSBlog.

The gameplay system we have created combines the classic arcade-heritage of a rail-shooter with a contemporary graphics engine and all of the cover-taking, weapon-switching and super aggressive enemies possible on PS3. All of John Rambo’s trademark array of knives, SMGs, LMGS, Grenades and variety of arrow-tips will be on-hand for players to deploy within the game’s 16 Missions. It also supports the PlayStation Move controller so player’s can experience every trigger pull, grenade-lob, knife swipe and bow-pull in the most connected way possible.

Latocha also said, to gamers who complained that the game looks a little underdone, that they “are still in the final stage of polishing the game so the graphics will look a lot cleaner and smoother in the final product.”

I hope so, because that looks rather awful. It’a coming to PC, Xbox 360 and PS3 early this year.

I'm old, grumpy and more than just a little cynical. One day, I found myself in possession of a NES, and a copy of Super Mario Bros 3. It was that game that made me realise that games were more than just toys to idly while away time - they were capable of being masterpieces. I'm here now, looking for more of those masterpieces.
  • Alien Emperor Trevor

    It’s nice they put the effort in to make that screenshot look realistic, but should have spent more time fixing the glass-like inhuman eyes of that (wo)mannequin. Surely they’ve saved enough to do that by not having to spend much time or money on the audio to make it sound just like Stallone – just feed it some chillis before recording & it’lll sound the same.

  • JJ’s grand endeavour (John)

    Darryn being nonchalant as usual there.

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      Dude! Good to meet you on Sat :D

      • JJ’s grand endeavour (John)

        Yea man. Was great fun. We were very kind to not destroy the console players with our death rays. We really could’ve made a difference in the world.

        • VampyricSquirrel Monk

          Some of those console gamers were gingers… you would have made a difference to the universe!!!

          • JJ’s grand endeavour (John)

            LOL. With great power comes great responsibility.

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          I was glad for the support, it can be difficult at times being the only one bringing a touch of class to proceedings.

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            Touch of PC class >>>>> buckets of console class

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            Was fun playing L4D2 with you, Gavin & whoever those other people were too!

            We got our asses kicked the second time around lol

          • JJ’s grand endeavour (John)

            I’m so disappointed I missed that. I blame Telkom

          • VampyricSquirrel Monk

            So do I

          • JJ’s grand endeavour (John)

            Well, secretly I blame Tim. But just because I like to blame him for everything.

          • VampyricSquirrel Monk

            We can always just blame Timkom… lol

            I blame slow download speeds… i.e. Tim or Timkom

          • TiMsTeR1033

            Whenever there is a slow download or bad connection speed there is a Tim downloading something naughty on the other end! hahaha

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            I thought Timkom was fast. At least, that’s what she said trollol!

          • VampyricSquirrel Monk

            HAHAHAHA! You know Tim’s wife that well?

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            TimKomTooSoon?

          • TiMsTeR1033

            I wish I could of joined would of been a blast and would of killed you all..

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            We were jamming co-op, so ja, would not have been appreciated

          • TiMsTeR1033

            I thought you guys were jamming like 1 group humans other Zombies.. If co op I would of remembered the most important rule… Dont bother the witch!

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            Man, Trev kept on wanting to hump her. Then we have to revive him every time!

          • TiMsTeR1033

            Her crying gets to me!

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            I remember experimenting with the one shot kill for the witch, so much win when I got it right

          • JJ’s grand endeavour (John)

            Then you’re usually doing the wrong thing.
            Wait, are we talking about Left for Dead still?

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            Hahahaha, boom!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            lol. I thought we’re supposed to kill her. I only disturbed her accidentally once ;)

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            Hehehe, I remember we were ALL very cautious the last time on Advanced mode

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            I didn’t even notice. I did think it was a bit harder than the first game though heh. That gate… so much of death.

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            Janee bliksem, I tried to push through the last time but fell near the end with no one to revive me

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            The last time we tried it I was happily shooting away, next thing I see everyone else is down. Started reviving the bot that was right next to me & as I was less than a second away from finishing that the whole damn horde just piled onto me lol. NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo

          • JJ’s grand endeavour (John)

            We should play this sometime again. When I’m actually also able to. I missed out on too much!

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            Good idea, once every fortnight!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            I’d be more than happy. It was fun.

          • VampyricSquirrel Monk

            The damn PC AI bitches when you shoot them… but if there’s a zombie and you’re between them and their target, they shoot the absolute crap out of you… bunch of idiots…

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            LOL, it was set to advanced by mistake!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            Seriously? Then we didn’t do too bad :D

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            I thought so too. 3 vs advanced horde? Not bad I say!

          • RinceThis2014

            William will murder you for this…

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            lol – I doubt it, I’m sure he feels the same way :P

          • RinceThis2014

            I meant for you saying ‘the only one’ when he is a real boy!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            AT TIMES. no readee Engrish ;P

          • RinceThis2014

            Haha! Why didn’t you come back with us on Sat? John came back and we watched a game doc.

          • JJ’s grand endeavour (John)

            Probably the smell. One can only handle so much of it.

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            LOOOOOOOOOOOOL

          • RinceThis2014

            Silence you! Just because no one commented on your eyeliner on Sat!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            That’s what the beer was for.

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            I thought you guys were all heading off to play GTA. I didn’t want to see what I’m missing lol.

          • RinceThis2014

            Hehehe :)

        • RinceThis2014

          You shut up you! Good seeing you again mate :)

          • JJ’s grand endeavour (John)

            I will not! I cannot be silenced!!

            You too man.

  • Fnuik

    I think it looks good, for a typical all action Rambo game. Better than Cod…

  • Hammersteyn

    Will need to see some proper gameplay. Looks a bit like it belongs on mobile tbh.

  • Stephen Snook

    Playstation Move killer app.

    • TiMsTeR1033

      Killer app in this instance really means a bad thing…

  • Admiral Chief in Vegas

    Hahaha, dat header!!!

    • Hammersteyn

      I thought for a second it was an in game screen shot.

  • Admiral Chief in Vegas

    That video is damn cool! If it was still the year 2000

    • Hammersteyn

      I bet the master race blames console again about the graphics.

      • Admiral Chief in Vegas

        Rambo: Colonial Marine?

        • Hammersteyn

          Hahaha

      • JJ’s grand endeavour (John)

        Damn consoles :)

  • TiMsTeR1033

    Looks like this one will fail big time!! plus doesn’t look that great!

  • Alex Hicks

    I’m so pleased they told me that was “the video game”. For a second there I was convinced it was live action …

    • TiMsTeR1033

      It felt so real I jumped in parts… truly a epic experience this game with be!

    • Admiral Chief in Vegas

      Hahaha

  • TiMsTeR1033

    Rambo looks like a glorified ps2 game!

    • iAmWeasel

      Console gamers don’t care about graphics, remember?

  • Umar digs KOS-MOS

    Header…Nail’d it!

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      You nailed that? O_O

      • Umar digs KOS-MOS

        With a nail “gun”….I don’t know what I’m doing

        • TiMsTeR1033

          Its okay, Not all of us are good at nailing things..

          • JJ’s grand endeavour (John)

            Experience?

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            LOOOL

          • TiMsTeR1033

            Yeah I nailed a clown once! He did not enjoy hanging from the ceiling!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            I bet it was funny though. Or was it the sad clown?

          • TiMsTeR1033

            I am afraid of clowns, what you think.

          • Unavengedavo

            You into some really kinky stuff there Timmy…

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            That’s what she said.

          • Umar digs KOS-MOS

            My nails always seem to fall out

          • TiMsTeR1033

            Need more calcium in your diet old man

          • Umar digs KOS-MOS

            I drink enough milky

          • TiMsTeR1033

            Apparently not!

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          This guy does…

          • Umar digs KOS-MOS

            Damn he’s so cool. Swag levels > 9000

      • Admiral Chief in Vegas

        BWHAHAHAHA

      • SheHulkNigri

        That would explain the look of utter confused surprise…

  • Sentinal_Slug

    It looks right terrible…. did they draw his face on in that one scene?

    • TiMsTeR1033

      With permanent marker!

  • TiMsTeR1033

    Remember folks!

    • hairyknees

      You’re*

      :D

      • JJ’s grand endeavour (John)

        Man that was bugging me.

        • hairyknees

          Me too… somebody needed to mention the elephant in the room :P

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT? Oh.. er.. never mind *cough*

          • JJ’s grand endeavour (John)

            Yes. Yes we are. I actually thought you were the boomer when you guys were playing L4D

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            It’s all fun & games until you get puked on :/

          • JJ’s grand endeavour (John)

            Sounds like varsity

          • TiMsTeR1033

            Or chased by a witch!

          • JJ’s grand endeavour (John)

            That sounds like varsity too.

          • hairyknees

            NO SIR! I WAS CALLING YOU AN ELEPHANT!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            Then I demand to be called Nelly!

          • hairyknees

            NELLY IT IS! I FORESEE A GREAT DRINKING SONG SPAWNING FROM THIS! :P

          • Anon A Mouse
      • TiMsTeR1033

        Dude I did Not make the Image so don’t blame me…

        • JJ’s grand endeavour (John)

          I blame you for everything.

          • TiMsTeR1033

            Everything! You cut me deep man….

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            He didn’t make you cut yourself, that’s your own fault ;)

          • JJ’s grand endeavour (John)

            Well you cut my damn legs off!

        • hairyknees

          Don’t try weasel your way out of this one! The damage is done :’(

          • TiMsTeR1033

            Dude then why does it day MemeCenter?

          • hairyknees

            Cleverly placed cover up I say! Smart move… smart move…

            (I’m totally joking btw) <3

          • TiMsTeR1033

            I know your joking (Totally placed incorrect spelling) ;)

          • hairyknees

            I like you’re style!

          • VampyricSquirrel Monk

            your* :P

          • hairyknees

            NOBODY ASKED FOR YOU’RE OPINION!

          • VampyricSquirrel Monk

            HAHAHAHAHA!

          • Jonah Cash

            And thus the master becomes the student!!!

        • VampyricSquirrel Monk

          You could have fixed it before posting it… sheesh… lazy graphics designers!

          • TiMsTeR1033

            Ill show you lazy… with a baseball bat.

    • Sageville

      Invisible 50 Cal….

  • hairyknees

    Header WIN! XD

  • RinceThis2014

    What the crap did I just watch? 0-O Looks TERRIBLE!

    • JJ’s grand endeavour (John)

      Probably was on an Xbox. Trolololo

    • Admiral Chief in Vegas

      Put on your year 2000 goggles and watch again!

      • JJ’s grand endeavour (John)

        Is it just me or is his head really really big? Looks like a bobble head.

    • TiMsTeR1033

      Its a Ps2 game!

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      I’m sure it’ll look better once they implement TressFX.

  • Sageville

    Rambo, like his hair, should remain in the 80′s

    • SheHulkNigri

      Nah. 80′s or not, this is just a waste of a damn fine license. (Again)
      First Blood was a great story of one man trying to survive, and that movie alone would make one damn fine game.

  • Kromas

    I am sorry. You would rather want a demo like this?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1orK2qj_9k

    At least these guys are honest and I will support them if the game looks even remotely fun to play.

  • Gr8_Balls_o_Fire

    It should be focussed 3rd-person. I predict this may be a 4-6/10 game.. It has so much potential. Nice violence!

  • Devourer of Small Bunnies

    This header makes my life worth living <3