Next Xbox to have the power of a super computer?

A stray document has been uploaded to Google Docs that appears to show the new Xbox Logo, colours and launch hashtag for the upcoming Next Xbox announcement. But even more intriguing are the coded messages on each of the slides.

I’ll say up front that I’m not totally convinced these are real and are likely to be someone’s idea of a joke but with the reveal just around the corner it is likely that news will start leaking so we’ll leave you to judge for yourself.

1

All the slides follow the same format with the standard logo up top, the interconnected ideology shown in the graphic at the bottom and with each slide being one of the official Microsoft logo colours.

But what’s all that junk in the middle? Well according to an Italian gaming website it’s an esoteric programming language and this slide apparently says Storm Clouds.

2

More Than Now

3

Deep Computing

4

Petaflops > Teraflops

So what’s a Petaflop? A petaflop is 1000 teraflops… but that still doesn’t mean much to you at all does it? In it’s simplest form a flop is a measurement of how quickly a computer can process data. If you really want to learn more then head over to the Wiki page and enjoy the research… here is how you calculate one FLOP

flop

Okay great boring stuff done, so as a comparison lets see how many teraflops the current consoles push out? Well according to most sites I can find the current Xbox 360 either pushes out 1 or half a terraflop. The original PS2 claimed to push out 6.4 Megaflops (mega, giga, terra, peta) with the original Xbox pushing 70 megaflops.

The most powerful computer on the planet currently hits 17 Petaflops so the idea that a personal console could hit 1 petaflop is ludicrous… or is it?

yes… yes it is. In 2009 Acer revealed a $15 000 personal computer that managed to hit 1.1 teraflops. So unless Microsoft has found a way to increase that chips power by 1000 in 4 years this claim is totally bogus.

5

But wouldn’t it be fun to see the PC Master Race gasping for breath if they actually announced it.

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Author:Gavin Mannion

I'm cranky, arrogant and ever so amazingly annoying but when you get to know me you will also realise I'm honest and incredibly good at describing myself... now pass me that beer

  • http://twitter.com/D4RKL1NG Martin du preez

    LOL. I think M$ are leaking this “info” to get rid of the negative vibes lately and hype things up. Bazillion teraflops or whatever won’t matter if they only going to make Kinect gamez.

    • Deano

      What would a MS news snippet be without your $ony Fanboi msg. we get it, now move along.

      • http://twitter.com/D4RKL1NG Martin du preez

        cry moar….

        • Deano

          Laughing at you is more the case.

          • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

            No No No NO! You’re doing it all wrong. That’s not how you troll. You have to lure them with bait, then play with them for a while. That’s where the entertainment and lulz come in, and the longer the better.

            Deano, I’m going to give you my private number, because I see some potential. Book a session with me, and I will bestow upon you a wealth of trolling knowledge. You will learn the history of trolling. How to create a baseless argument from scratch, and still make it feel credible. You will also learn Jim Lenoir’s grandmother’s recipes.

            If you want to become a more effective troll, call this number now! 011 376 1000 Do it Deano. Do it for our sanity. Become the BETTER TROLL!

          • Deano

            Hahaha, you guys need to get out more.

          • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

            Technology these days, here I am sitting outside, eating a sandwich and writing a message via my smartphone :P

          • http://twitter.com/D4RKL1NG Martin du preez

            If I brought a smile to your face then I am happy. My work here is done. **Flies off into the sunset**

          • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

            Quick Martin to the smile mobile! :D

      • FoxHoundR

        I like call of duty and xbox.

        • Admiral Chief Erwin

          Come now Jimmy, settle down

          • Rincethis: Spellalicious

            And… It starts. Watch out, when his dad returns from renting out the age appropriate movie, the Evil Dead, he may have something to say…

          • Admiral Chief Erwin

            Watch, its Jimmy. Watch the timeline between the posts. You’ll see, its BananaJim

          • Rincethis: Spellalicious

            You think? Let’s make it interesting… 100 internet points for enough evidence to convince me!

          • Admiral Chief Erwin

            You’ll see, its him. Already gave you the carrot, now follow it

          • Rincethis: Spellalicious

            carrots are SOOO last decade, we’re with white rabbits these days…

          • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

            Pffft white rabbits are so 90s, we follow locusts now…

    • Rincethis: Spellalicious

      Coiuldn’t agree more! Don’t feed the troll known as Deano, he/it is just lonely ;)

  • Sir Oldfart

    What is all this gobbledegook??
    Back in 2005 just as I was finishing up God of War 2 It was the Gears of War MAD WORLD advert that gave me a GIANT NEXT GEN BONER. I was so so so excited… Then the Bioshock advert came on in the Cinema (London)… The cinema seat will never be the same.
    I did not give, nobody I know gave a shit what the insides of the new box were. It was the game play footage that stroked our G-Spots.

    Im still not feeling it, all I see is this gen games being Hybrid with the next console.

    Diablo 3…

    • Verrayne

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCt_uKAM0t8 (NSFW)

      NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      All I could think of after your first sentence.

      • Sir Oldfart

        I think I need a shag. After reading my comment again I noticed a few words that stuck out.
        GIANT BONER, CAME. G-SPOT, FEELING IT, STROKED, FINISHING UP, EXCITED,ENDING, ON ME and BIOSHOCK.

        • HvR

          Geoff!!! Come here somebody need to touch your beard.

          • Sir Oldfart

            stroke

      • Rincethis: Spellalicious

        I did not need to see this this early in the morning at work. Now I’m looking at the tea lady while pinching… 0_O

        • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

          Just imagine her with her clothes off.

          • Rincethis: Spellalicious

            Yip, that did it ;)

          • Admiral Chief Erwin

            I wanna run around nekkid in the forest :(

            Just for giggles

          • Rincethis: Spellalicious

            that DEFINITELY did it…

          • Admiral Chief Erwin

            What sound doth nekkid man makes while running?

            FLOPFLOPFLOPFLOPFLOPFLOPFLOPFLOPFLOPFLOPFLOPFLOP

          • Rincethis: Spellalicious

            Le… No, that doesn’t work! THAT DOESN’T WORK!

          • Admiral Chief Erwin

            See, the FLOP is when the thigh is hit, the other FLOP is when the other thigh is hit. Get it?

          • Rincethis: Spellalicious

            *Official use of ‘Le Sigh’ is for situations of the utmost sighing only*

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Carl-Angus/685100819 Carl Angus

            I’m calling overuse on the Le-sigh meme!

          • Admiral Chief Erwin

            SECONDED

          • Rincethis: Spellalicious

            You, get back in your box.

          • Admiral Chief Erwin

            Pfff, Bah, and RAWWWR

          • Rincethis: Spellalicious

            OI! It’s the second use this week! C’mon!

          • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

            Hang on (pun intended), shouldn’t it make… MEGA flop, MEGA flop.. MEGA flop, MEGA flop, MEGA flop.. MEGA flop ?

          • Rincethis: Spellalicious

            More like microtransactions… trolololo

          • Admiral Chief Erwin

            No, that’s for jogging, I run so fast it flopflopflop’s

            Plus, Y U LOOK AT ME WHEN I PEE?

          • Anon A Mouse
          • Admiral Chief Erwin

            Hahaha, sleeping nekkid it seems.

            Somehow I suspect daar was drank betrokke

    • Rincethis: Spellalicious

      Jesus man, this reads like a scream for help from a 50 Shades of OVG! HAHAHAHA

    • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

      You know I don’t even need to write anything any more, I just scroll down, look for an OVG post, and feel instantly better. Bless your cotton socks Mr OVG.

      • Sir Oldfart

        Reminds me: must find the other cotton sock. I think I left it in that cinema ;)

    • TKK

      idiot, the design and art are not the limitations and can easily copied or replicated or even topped , they’re subjective too. the specs are the limitations. dude, radeon Malta already boast over 8 teraflop and it’s gonna be released before any ps4 or xbox next even released ! How long are these machines gonna last ? certainly GTX680 is more powerful than ps4….

      • Sir Oldfart

        Whatever turns you on man. That shit flew over my head.
        I just press start and play kick ass games that are normally all 3rd party multi platform.

        Are you talking about those pictures in the post?

  • Admiral Chief Erwin

    Too much thinking for a FRIDAY

    • Brady miaau

      It’s Friday?

      Feels like the day before the big exam

    • Rincethis: Spellalicious

      Dude, your mate FoxHoundR is baaaaack!

  • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

    If the console releases with over a petaflop of processing power then I will be stunned.

  • Deon Steyn

    Reminds me of the Atari Jaguar. 64-bit console. “Do the math” was their slogan and this was when the 16-bit SNES and Genesis was still out. At least they have the third party support.

    • http://www.twitter.com/WobblyOnion Exalted Overlord Geoffrey Tim

      That was marketing bullshit. It was really just two 32-bit processors (with 32 bit instruction sets) coupled with a 64 bit data path.

      • Sir Oldfart

        Old school :)

      • Deon Steyn

        I know but the nobody knew at the time. AVGN did an awesome couple of videos on it.

        • HvR

          We will probably be collecting and paying a premium for CD’s and DVD’s since they sound and look better.

    • Sir Oldfart

      I watched my first DVD on the Atari AKA Atari FAIL 64. It was The Firm and split on 2 DVDs lol

      • http://www.twitter.com/WobblyOnion Exalted Overlord Geoffrey Tim

        Pretty sure that was Video CD. The DVD standard wasn’t set at the time, only being finalised and released a year after the Jaguar’s release. :)

        • Sir Oldfart

          Hell I must be getting old. 20 years from now we will just call them mini silver LPs.

        • FoxOneZA – The Chosen One

          VCD! Oh, the nightmares!!!!

  • Sir Oldfart

    Next gen terror FLOP.

    • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

      hahaha

    • Rincethis: Spellalicious

      Well done boy!

  • Anon A Mouse

    Petaflop ~ What Darryn is doing alone at night while looking at his Batman suit.

    • Sir Oldfart

      ROFL

    • http://twitter.com/Darrangedd Darryn Bonthuys

      Don’t you mean PetaFap?

      • Anon A Mouse

        You should know.

        • Rincethis: Spellalicious

          hahaha

  • Anon A Mouse

    Well with M$’s profits up by 19% they can subsidize their consoles for a while, or is that just wishful thinking.

    • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

      I think so, it also means they can launch themselves aggressively. I guess, we should expect a massive advertising campaign, which will border on the nauseating. You know the kind where you actually cringe… like how they tried to force Kinect down everyone’s throats.

    • Nathan O

      More likely cable and ISP providers will end up subsidizing the new xbox.

  • http://twitter.com/NinjasCreed Ryan Williams

    KNEEL BEFORE NEXTXBOX!

    • Sir Oldfart

      Why? are you wrapping a towel around it ;)

  • Trevor Davies

    Am I the only one who thought this?

    • Sir Oldfart

      You see the size of his helmet? That will be the size of the new console.
      You see the size of his head? That will be the space actually used by the developers.

      • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

        Google GLASS!!!

        • Sir Oldfart

          Sweeeeeet Now that is the future and Ill bet you all a muffin its going to make teramillions

  • http://twitter.com/Kikmi Slade Boender

    A million million Ghz to just go onto facebook and watch TV? Nah Ill stick to my i7 thanks :P

  • Rincethis: Spellalicious

    Lol. Can you imagine a RRoD on a console with a teraflop? Fucking thing would take out half a block!

    • Sir Oldfart

      Not to mention the Bouncy Castle that one would need to hire in order to wrap around the box to re-smealt the mother board back into place while you wait for your re-fernished model to arrive six months later.

      • Rincethis: Spellalicious

        Hang on, if it has a damn teraFLOP, what the hell is the kinetic going to do? Slap you when you jump to the left, when you should have jumped to the right?

        • Sir Oldfart

          That is a terror SLAP :(

    • http://twitter.com/D4RKL1NG Martin du preez

      Bwahaha!

  • HvR

    Reality check: 1 PetaFLOP processor is 60 times more processing power than AMD’s (the company who probably be supplying the processor for the next Xbox) MOST powerful commercial core (which cost $3000) and a 1 PetaFLOP processor will chow through 500kW with current silicon technology. Best bet is this some marketing ploy where your always online xbox will be coupled to some distrubuted computing system make a theoretical top processing power of 1 PetaFLOP.

    There is bigger chance the following NeXtBox rumors are true.
    NeXtBox TeamTalk will allow you to talk to Jesus.
    Plastic for next box made from Micheal Jackson’s face.
    NeXtBox comes with its own real life supermodel concubine.

    • Sir Oldfart

      but can it play games?

      • Rincethis: Spellalicious

        It can not only play games, but satisfy your wife, put the kids in bed, and feed the dog.

        • Admiral Chief Erwin

          LOL you NEED a wife and kids first :P

          • Rincethis: Spellalicious

            Sho, I should have listened when mumma told me not to share over the internet… 0_O

          • Admiral Chief Erwin

            XD

            Still love you buddy, have a cookie

          • Rincethis: Spellalicious

            Don’t want cookie! *Stamps foot

          • Admiral Chief Erwin

            *Eats cookie*

            NOW YOU SHALL HAVE NONE!

  • DrKiller

    No science on lazygamer please!!! Formulas and weird words like flops and sockets and stuffs don’t belong here ;-) Especially on a Friday!!

  • http://twitter.com/helloserve Henk Roux

    The language is called ‘BrainFuck’. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brainfuck

  • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

    You know, I think Microsoft DID in fact go back to the drawing board with the NextKinectBox, post always-on rumours, and they did get a shock because the masses reacted en masse against it. I always thought it was funny that they were so eager to have a conference after Sony, and yet, as everyone started grabbing pitchforks, the big M delayed their conference to May, kept as quiet as possible, after all if you don’t acknowledge a problem it doesn’t exist – Just a pity Orthy-boy didn’t get the memo, and almost sunk their own battleship.

    But he was dealt with swiftly… Muahahhahah!

    Essentially that means, somewhere in China, one factory is hard at work, implementing the redesign, while at Redmond, a poor team of coders are going through the code trying to “fix” it.

    • HvR

      Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!!!!!!!!!

      Guess whose back, back again!!

    • FoxOneZA – The Chosen One

      I don’t see what’s the rush in even holding a big reveal event in May. Whichever way, by year end, the Xbox is going to be launched and MS does have enough moola to jump the PS4′s release date. The PS4′s faceless reveal is being seen as an act of desperation after a month and half of nothingness.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Carl-Angus/685100819 Carl Angus

    What alot of cok-rot.

    A leaked secret da-vinci code for xboxers, implying a very fast system and we eat this bollocks up as news, man geekdom is getting desperate.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Carl-Angus/685100819 Carl Angus

    What alot of cok-rot.

    A leaked secret da-vinci code for xboxers, implying a very fast system and we eat this bollocks up as news, man geekdom is getting desperate.

  • FoxOneZA – The Chosen One

    The Playstation ship sank a long time ago when Kevin Butler jumped over to the Wii showing not only dire straits ahead but an act of bravery leaving the PS4 on rough green Xbox waters.

  • deeboy17

    Microsoft needs to hurry up and speak out these rumors are getting annoying.

  • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

    I think it’s time I add a rumour of own, since mine would be just as credible as all the rest.

    The NEXTKINECTBOX will be banana-shaped. It will also come with a beer holder and the blu-ray drive will run as quietly as a washing machine. Since, it’ll be made from recycled Red-ringed Xbox 360s, it will be Microsoft’s first Green console. Not just coloured green, but apparently environmentally friendly…

    It will also come with deployable solar panels.

    Banana Rumours!

    • Trevor Davies

      Hmmm, points 2 & 3 are definitely wrong, MS is an American company, so climate change isn’t real, screw the environment & renewal energy is a no-no ;)

      • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

        This is true. If they were Swedish, the console would come with solar panels and a tapas menu.

  • TKK

    so what ? who says petaflop is bigger than teraflop ? idiot ! it didn’t even mention how many petaflop. because 0.00123 petaflop=1.23 teraflop. 0 petaflop is smaller than 0.0000000000001 teraflop. 1000 next xbox is so and so petaflop ! go figure idiots ! obviously fake ! the controller….lol at the controller…

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