FFD: What licenced games have broken your heart? 
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Geoffrey Tim
February 15, 2013 at 10:45 am

SFMovie

Licenced games have a bad rap. Mostly because they’re absolutely terrible; they prey on your exiting love and attachment for a franchise, and usually piss it down the toilet. There have been good ones; I have very fond memories of Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers and Ducktales on the NES; I spent all my pocket money playing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at the arcade and The 16-bit Aladdin games were amazing. More recently, Arkham Asylum ended up being the best super-hero game ever.

The flip side to those examples are games that have taken great licences and essentially destroyed them. Superman 64 is commonly cited as one of the worst games ever made, Kinect Star Wars made an absolute mockery of the universe, ET on the Atari 2600 was responsible for the entire game industry collapsing and yes, Aliens: Colonial Marines is pretty much a travesty.

While nobody really buys licenced games anymore expecting them to magnificent, there’s still the expectation that they might be decent,  but they’re more than often not. What licenced games, old or new,  have you picked up or were looking forward to – only to have your hopes and dreams crushed?

I'm old, grumpy and more than just a little cynical. One day, I found myself in possession of a NES, and a copy of Super Mario Bros 3. It was that game that made me realise that games were more than just toys to idly while away time - they were capable of being masterpieces. I'm here now, looking for more of those masterpieces.

  • string_slinger

    Colonial Marines – hopes dashed by reviews before I bought it, thankfully…

  • Deon Steyn

    Aliens Colonial Marines, Any superman game, robocop on the NES, Ironman and almost every PS1 Disney/Pixar games if I have to think of the top of my head. Oh and Battleship the lousy FPS.

  • http://twitter.com/mathuthe Mathias

    None. This and te previous gen proved that most of these are worthless, so don’t even bother to get them, no matter how “decent” people say some are.

  • Admiral Chief Erwin

    Quite a few, but those experiences are luckily blocked in my mind.

  • Lardus

    Transformers…the one after the first movie. Piece of crap on the PC!

  • DaxterZA

    Iron Man, the game of the first movie…good lord that was a shitty game…

    • http://www.twitter.com/WobblyOnion Exalted Overlord Geoffrey Tim
      • DaxterZA

        I know that feeling bro…haha

      • Admiral Chief Erwin

        Have you recovered?

    • Sean Carbutt

      There have been a couple, but lately. Aliens, The RE series is dead set on going that way, NFS have been crappy since Most wanted on the PS2, Silent Hill needs a serious re-look, Captain America on the PS3 was a disaster, Oh lets not forget the 13 years it took to cock up the Duke,

  • Uberutang

    Had high hopes for ACM, but alas… it is bad they say…real bad.

  • Eric Viljoen

    I don’t think anyone has made a good Superman game actually…

    That stupid Jurassic Park: The Lost World “strategy” game.

    Good ones were the original LOTR games that came out after the movies. Those were quite epic.
    The tiny toons games on my Golden China console.

    I generally try to avoid games from movies I liked. Sometimes it spoils the experience.

    • Admiral Chief Erwin

      Dammit, forgot how awful the tiny toons game was :((((

    • Banana Jim

      Yeah the Superman returns game is pretty bad. It’s so weird because it has all the potential in the world and it’s pretty cool to fly through metropolis… but the game itself… wow… just… wow….

  • caponeil

    THere can be only on – Wolverine! Picked it played for 5 minutes and thought how the hell can anyone release this crap excuse of a movie rip-off!!

  • Admiral Chief Erwin

    On the other side of the curtain, the Hitman and Max Payne movies were TERRIBLE

    • Darth_Clericus_The_Ultimate

      Hitman wasnt THAT bad, but Max Payne. That move hurt. Du dum Pshh!!

  • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

    Narnia games… What!? Stop looking at me like that! Stop judging me! *hides*

    • FoxOneZA

      I heard nothing :x

      • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

        @JimLenoir:disqus Thanx you two. I appreciate that understanding

    • Banana Jim

      Wow… you have my deepest and sincerest condolences…

    • Admiral Chief Erwin

      XD

  • Sir Captain Rincethis

    Final Fantasy 13. What a steaming heap of dog shit. Never have I wanted to murder a character more than Lightening. And I know that if I DID murder the depressive, emo bitch, she would just moan. Mind you, if I offered her a cup of coffee, she would moan. If I asked her opinion on the disproving of superstring theory, a MOAN. Why did the chicken cross the road, MOAN. FML.

    • GTO

      The sad part in FFXIII the most fun I had in the game had nothing to do with the actual game. It was annoying my friend with Vanille’s noises when she got hit.

      I played the game at my friends house mainly, I was so bored with the game I kept Vanille in my party just so she would make her porno noises to annoy my friend.

      • Sir Captain Rincethis

        HAHAHAHA! WIN :) Yeah, when I first started playing I thought they were trying to be clever referencing some form of STD. Alas, the Japanese are not that deep. Real sad. I am a FF nutter, but with this game, I could only last 15 hours before I had to go find me a real whore to moan. Wait, what?o-0

    • http://twitter.com/SaveTheQueenIX umar bastra

      FF 13 was amazing

      • Sir Captain Rincethis

        I truly hope you are being sarcastic.

        • http://twitter.com/SaveTheQueenIX umar bastra

          well i found it amazing…amazing that I could hate a final fantasy game :(

          • Sir Captain Rincethis

            Some good trolling there Sir! Umar bastra 1. Rincethis 0

  • http://www.facebook.com/jarred.s.holmes Jarred S Holmes

    The Lion King and Aladdin were brilliant! And who could forget Maximum Carnage, first Spidey game I ever played, and I still have it on my phone:-)

    • Admiral Chief Erwin

      Maximum Carnage was the BOMB!

      Loved that game. As did I Lion King and Aladdin!

    • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

      All 3 of those games were LEGEND

  • http://www.facebook.com/jarred.s.holmes Jarred S Holmes

    AS for worst…pretty much every Sega game in the last ten years…

  • The Lying Dutchman

    Tomb Raider made shitty movies, great games… does those count?

    • Brady miaau

      I thought the Tomb Raider movies were just a silly amount of fun, that did not take itself seriously at all

      and Angelina Jolie!

  • Eric Viljoen

    Which are worse though. Licenced games from movies or Movies made from games?

    • Admiral Chief Erwin

      Both

  • Banana Jim

    I was given Kung Fu Panda for PS3 on my birthday… not sure if missus was trolling that day, but yeah… that was pretty grim.

    • FoxOneZA

      Haha!

      • Banana Jim

        Yeah I think she thought it would be awesome, since I love the movies. Or maybe deep down, she just wanted to make me suffer :P

        • Admiral Chief Erwin

          She might be planning to kill you…..

          • Banana Jim

            The thought has crossed my mind… she always insist on vegetables. I sense a communist!

          • Admiral Chief Erwin

            Serving a fruit vegetables? That’s almost like cannibalism!

  • http://twitter.com/SaveTheQueenIX umar bastra

    Men In black on ps1, spawn ps1 the worst!! as for games I actually enjoyed, bad boys lol and Reservoir Dogs

  • FoxOneZA

    Spiderman was a hopeless pile of crap. And those WWE Games weren’t too bad.

    • http://twitter.com/SaveTheQueenIX umar bastra

      well spider man 2 was freaking awesome as all hell

  • Red Worked

    I can literally not think of any licensed games I’ve played since the days of DOS and the NES…

  • Johan du Preez

    The Doom movie was crap :)

    • Admiral Chief Erwin

      Except the FPS section, that was kinda cool!

  • https://twitter.com/jGLZA_b00 jGLZA

    The Green Lantern game was actually pretty good but it could have been so much better!!

  • oomjan

    Max Payne movie was crap but loved the game. Also the new Silent Hill movie. bad acting, etc, etc.

  • OVG

    ALIENS!!!!!!!!!
    Runs out of room back to rehab.

  • Darth_Clericus_The_Ultimate

    ANY RESIDENT EVIL MOVIE!!!!

  • Darth_Clericus_The_Ultimate

    A franchise game that sucked. I played the Thor game once.
    ONCE.