The fourth of May. It’s two days after my birthday and the death of Hitler, but it’s also a great day to be a Star Wars fan. And why not? A cult series of films, TV shows, comics and other merchandise have resulted in a massive fan following over the years, culminating on May 4 every year. Except it’s time to stop celebrating Jedi and Wookies. Your Emperor commands it!
I hope you folks are all proud of yourself. You’ve been supporting a bunch of sister-kissing rebel scum for too long now, and quite frankly, you deserve to be zapped with empirical Force Lightning for doing so.
For shame guys, for shame.
Because he's the writer that Lazygamer deserves, but not the one it actually needs right now. So we'll hunt him. Because he can't take it. Because he's not a hero. He's a loud-mouthed journalist, a watchful procrastinator. A dork knight.