How to fix a faulty Nvidia system 
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Geoffrey Tim
June 25, 2013 at 12:00 pm

Titan

The PC is a great gaming platform. Right now, top-end systems make console games look silly; they’re scalable, more open, and support modding – making your favourite games better and giving them near infinite longevity. the trouble with them is that sometimes things just don’t work properly, necessitating fiddling and tinkering. Here’s how you can fix a system running Nvidia-based GPU hardware.

Yup, the best way to do that would be to get AMD. That’s, obviously, the suggestion that AMD has for those of you who prefer your PC gaming a little more green.

Now, before you ardent Nvidia adherents form a mob, it’s obviously meant to be a little tongue-in-cheek and not meant to be taken entirely seriously – but it is worth noting that with all  of the next generation consoles running on AMD hardware, it’s a safe bet to assume that most of your games are going to be optimised for AMD’s instruction sets.

I'm old, grumpy and more than just a little cynical. One day, I found myself in possession of a NES, and a copy of Super Mario Bros 3. It was that game that made me realise that games were more than just toys to idly while away time - they were capable of being masterpieces.I'm here now, looking for more of those masterpieces.I am also the emperor of the backend

  • Admiral Chief Groot Wors

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

      You are loving this aren’t you? :P

      Meh. I still stay with nVidia :)

      • Admiral Chief Groot Wors

        Look, I’m a loyal bastard I am, AMD has been really good to me over all these years, so yes, I’m true to them

        • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

          But one has to admit that AMD are entering next-gen with the upper hand. Don’t like admitting that but there you have it.

          • Admiral Chief Groot Wors

            VIC-TAUR-EEEE

          • Admiral Chief Groot Wors

            I used to like NVidia, then I took an AMD to the awesome-factor-10

          • Lord Chaos

            Ditto, nothing like the pure power of awesomeness.

          • Trevor Davies

            What I don’t understand is Nvidias response to that, which is basically, “meh.”

          • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

            nVidia really are aiming more towards virtualisation and cloud computing lately. So I don’t think they are too worried as they really do have the market in that area.

          • Trevor Davies

            I just don’t want to see a situation where we suddenly only have one GFX card supplier, because they’ve decided it’s not worth it any more.

        • LordCaptainAwesomeness

          Amen Brother…. Red for Life

        • Kromas

          Amen to that brother. AMD card last longer than the damn Duracell bunny and even though they usually lag slightly behind Nvidia in performance you won’t notice it cause most people don’t play Crysis 3 at ultra settings on two 72inch full HD screens. (yes I’m exaggerating here but my point is valid)

          • Admiral Chief Groot Wors

            Point is valid yes. You missed the “better for your wallet” part as well

          • Kromas

            The list can go on.

            1. All of the above plus.
            2. Does not require daily driver updates.
            3. Does not require a backup of older drivers so you can play your old games.
            4. May not have PhysX but TressFX is quite innovative (and slightly buggy but meh … still new)
            5. Has quite a varied board manufacturer list (cause they ain’t dumping their manufacturers like old cake)
            6. The cake is a lie!
            7. Thats righ’t … a potato just called you fat.

            Yeah I ran out of steam …. oh wait.

            8. Valve Games (steam get it :P ) prefer AMD (well all source engine games)
            9. Frostbite 3 …. yeah even EA is jumping off the Nvidia ship.

            I must say that they are getting Advanced with their Micro Devices :P

          • Admiral Chief Groot Wors

            Heh, have an upvote!

  • Argentil

    As a hardcore Nvidia fan, I will be switching sides next upgrade. Here’s hoping AMD improve their driver support. I remain doubtful, but price + platform monopoly are the deciding factor.

  • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

    I wonder if nVidia will respond in kind to this?

    • Hammersteyn

      They can make a new add for their Sheild device?

      • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

        lol

  • Hammersteyn

    I want a leather jacket like that. To bad our Truworths doesn’t carry boer seun sizes.

    • Admiral Chief Groot Wors

      I know man, dafuq is up with that? And pants sizes, WHO HAS AN ASS AND BALLS SO SMALL????

      • Trevor Davies

        slim fit se moer man :(

        • Admiral Chief Groot Wors

          Moar liek skeleton fit amirite?

          • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

            And then you still get guys who wear skinnys. How is that even remotely comfortable!?!?!?!?!

          • Admiral Chief Groot Wors

            Kids these days, no balls I tells ya

          • Trevor Davies

            Heeltemaal korrek

          • Hammersteyn

            Calista Flockheart fit.

        • Hammersteyn

          Jis man I see those kids and I wonder if their parents ever feed them.

      • Hammersteyn

        It pisses my off immensely. XXL is now what a L was a few years back. I’m not fat or anything just a bit taller than most.

        • Admiral Chief Groot Wors

          my or me?

        • Trevor Davies

          Preach it brother. I’m a bit broader than average & I’ve also noticed I suddenly have to buy XL or XXL to fit my shoulders where I used to buy L. And then it’s too damn long.

          • Lord Chaos

            Same here, fit’s perfectly around shoulders but you look like a tent at the waist.

        • DBL_ZA

          Try being short with a 32 waist… Much worse :P clothing manufacturers assume all short people are either morbidly obese or so thin you look like something you throw for your dog to go fetch

      • Trevor Davies

        Hopefully it doesn’t confuse the Kinect, that would be awkward.

    • Lardus

      I have the same damn issue! Shoes, pants, shirts, jackets – nothing made for REAL men anymore!

      • Admiral Chief Groot Wors

        I get email from Takealot, shoes on special, says to self “Self, you have to start jogging”, so I goes, sees some nice running shoes, proceed to try to buy, sizes available 6, 6&1/2, dafuq????

        • Lardus

          In my days those were in the kiddies section! dafuq INDEED!

          • Brady miaau

            I hear you and feel your pain.

            Decent socks also a problem

    • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

      But, it gets even weirder….

      None of the sizes make any sense any more. Ok, I’ll gladly admit, I’m hobbit sized, a little plump around the mid-section – generally stocky and short.

      My old size 34 jeans that I bought ages ago still fit me, but I recently went to Woolies to get a new pair of jeans and chinos.

      First 34 I tried… WAY TOO FUCKING small. 36…? also too small… FUCKING 40…fits. Now at this stage, I’m going through a crisis of immense proportions (because either I packed on the pounds or something very odd is going on). Sweat dripping off my forehead, And, just as I was about to run out, crying to the missus, I tried on a 34 (different make) and it was loose.

      I mean what the fuck…?

      And then same with jackets, I have a medium k-way jacket that fits awesomely, but I find myself getting Large to even XL now. This one jacket, I recently bought was a large, but its dimensions were the same as the medium ON THE SAME FREAKING rack.. There’s no consistency. It’s like they just stick on random labels.

      And then the quality of the clothes are so poor these days. That’s why I stick to Khaki and Cape Union Mart….

      I think the Bangladeshi clothes makers are screwing with us.

      • Admiral Chief Groot Wors

        My Woolies 34 is just awesome, but other jeanpants are crapper quality. So I feel ya there.

        Why oh why oh why can they not make size standard?

        • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

          Dude, I really don’t know, but it’s getting really annoying. One of my mates thinks that we might be getting a mixture of American and European clothing sizes. And I think she might be onto something. SO instead of labeling them correctly (or putting both size standards on clothes), we’re left standing in dressing rooms like noobs.

          • Hammersteyn

            The best part is trying to get help. They have more security than staff on hand at most shops and when you ask if they have more in the back the answer is NO. Can you order from another store in a different size NO they don’t have it in the size I need.

          • Uberutang

            EU, US, UK and China mix sizes.
            34 used to be 34 inches! Not any more!

      • boet

        Agreed, Cape union mart, Due south ect are the best. For normal comfortable clothes to wear at home you cant beat outdoor brands like The North Face and Columbia. And they last forever. Im 1.95m and can still buy a North face shirt thats a L, go to any fasion store and Im a XXL.

    • http://www.twitter.com/WobblyOnion Exalted Overlord Geoffrey Tim

      How in the FUCK did you turn this in to a debate about clothing sizes?

      • http://www.idontlikegamingiloveit.com Tateboetie Malaaitie

        Excellent plus some random x Wednesday.

      • Hammersteyn

        Jedi mind trick?

  • Happy Hamster

    Fist Pump Hard Drop

  • Trevor Davies

    A mob of Nvidia fans is about as terrifying as luke warm custard. trollol

  • Skyblue

    Horrible. See this as my 660ti went all Dodo on me last night. Still under warranty and it gives me more time to get going on The Last of Us.

    • Admiral Chief Groot Wors

      What happened?

      • Spathi

        That damn Star Citizen trailer?

      • Skyblue

        Had to manually ramp fan speed for the last while as I was getting some choppiness at max res/detail which is bs for my sys spec (i7 3770k, 16GB Corsair Vengeance, SSD). Anyway, the card has been locking up my system the last few days so I was expecting it.

    • FoxOneZA – X-Therminator

      I’ve had 3 Nvidia GPU’s go blank on me :(

    • Skyblue

      Had to manually ramp fan speed for the last while as I was getting some choppiness at max res/detail which is bs for my sys spec (i7 3770k, 16GB Corsair Vengeance, SSD). Anyway, the card has been locking up my system the last few days so I was expecting it.

  • Happy Hamster
  • FoxOneZA – X-Therminator

    “Never Settle”<< This. Brilliant XD

  • Mark Treloar

    Was his PC on cos it looked like he forgot to do that?

  • Admiral Chief Groot Wors

    Loving the music though!

  • FoxOneZA – X-Therminator

    AMD are being rather smug about their next-gen power but little do they realize that they’ve lost the Desktop and Server market to Intel. They’ve gone and mocked nVidia’s mobile GPU which is ironic that AMD”S Jaguar based CPU’s are merely mobile CPU’s themsleves.

  • Warren Ross

    Pffft…just sprung for 2×670 GTX cards last month in a new build, plus another for my wife. No AMD for me for a few years, unless I grab a PS4.

    • Admiral Chief Groot Wors

      #TooMuchMoney it seems

      • Warren Ross

        Not exactly, haven’t built a new desktop in years and years. :p

  • Slade Boender

    Maybe its just me, but I’ve never really had issues with my green cards. Lots of folk saying theres bombed or RMA’d but honestly I’ve only been loyal to them because if a top tier card is purchased you can pretty much run full GFX on almost any game for 2 years. thats enough time to save for a new card. All that being said, I think the green ones will falter this next generation just for the pure point that they already have their physx engine in the next machines. So no need to go head to head with AMD.

    If they were really REALLY smart, they’d make a standalone physx m/pcie daughter card and move on from there. Would save them a lot of headache. Unless, you know, they come out with something ridiculously powerful for the GTX8** cards. It seems they have already lost the bout on the 7** cards, as they just rebranded 6**’s. Pity.

    Though if Voodoo Labs could make some ultra epic comeback….

    • Skyblue

      oooooh, I remember my first Voodoo card, Voodoo 2, pure epic!

      • Admiral Chief Groot Wors

        …man, how time flies :(

  • Uberutang

    My super OC 670 running as a 680 disagrees with this.

  • http://tumblr.exhibeo.com/ Axon1988

    I still run my GTX285, maybe it is time for an upgrade…

  • loftie

    faaaaark! was that a working card!?