Home Comics & Toys The latest NERF guns can nail you with 70MPH balls

The latest NERF guns can nail you with 70MPH balls

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nerf-zeus

Here at Lazygamer, we’re massive fans of using violence to solve any and all problems. In fact, our suggestion box is nothing more than a bin filled with foam darts. Because nothing gets a workplace issue sorted quicker than a friendly NERF battle.

The thing is, we kind of need more violence in our NERF battles. Specifically the kind of carnage where we can finally test out if we can dislodge Sandy’s eyes from his ocular cavities with a pair of well-timed and aimed shots. I think NERF may have heard our prayers:

If you can’t see the video above, that’s the NERF Rival Zeus MXV 1200. For $50, you get a handheld rifle that can nail your target (like children, yes children) with a dozen balls that are fired at up to 100 feet per second or close to 70 miles per hour.

In real-world numbers that aren’t horribly antiquated, that’s up to 112 kilometres per hour. Naturally, I want a pair of these so that I can finally discuss getting a dental plan with the boss.

I’ve always loved NERF guns, but I have two problems with them: They’re horribly expensive locally and the massive two-handed versions that I want aren’t exactly readily available.

And two, have you ever tried to travel with one of these in your main luggage when leaving the US of A? Randomised search my hairy ass. Anyway, I think I need to make a plan to get my hands on one of these. They’re absolutely gorgeous and crazy to the point where even the chief agrees with me.

Madness.

Last Updated: August 4, 2015

11 Comments

  1. I want the red one. It looks just like a Warframe wraith variant, and then I can pretend to be playing that IRL.

    On second thought… no. I’d try to aim glide like I’m Zephyr and that would end very badly for me.

    Reply

    • Chris Tiearney

      August 4, 2015 at 16:12

      +1 for the Warframe reference

      Reply

    • Chris Tiearney

      August 4, 2015 at 16:12

      +1 for the Warframe reference

      Reply

  2. Brady miaau

    August 4, 2015 at 15:38

    “Naturally, I want a pair of these so that I can finally discuss getting a dental plan with the boss”

    It does occur to me that after using one, you will a dental plan

    Reply

  3. Lord Chaos

    August 4, 2015 at 15:39

    Shame, now the cabbage is going to have to deal with the D’s balls on top of Geoff’s.

    O_o

    Reply

  4. Really Cynical

    August 4, 2015 at 15:41

    Is 70MPH fast? I mean,.. .most people can throw a tennis ball that fast. /Big Deal

    Reply

  5. Ottokie

    August 4, 2015 at 15:44

    70MPH ??? what is that, is that like a foot or something?

    Reply

  6. Hammersteyn

    August 4, 2015 at 15:50

    Those guns needs to be “nerfed” before someone loses an eye

    Reply

    • Pariah

      August 4, 2015 at 15:53

      Icefrog, nerf Hammer’s humour please. Too stronk.

      Reply

      • Hammersteyn

        August 4, 2015 at 16:06

        XD

        Reply

  7. HairyEwok

    August 5, 2015 at 09:02

    I like how this guy says Hasbro…. He could be in a surfers commercial.

    Reply

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