If there’s one thing that the video game industry used to have, it’s a sales department with a pair of brass balls the size of a pair of Hummer cars. Back in the day before the Internet took over, they needed to sell you games and do so with the boldest lies possible. And that’s how you ended up with full page adverts from when print was still relative, like these examples.
Y’know, back in my day, we didn't have hundred man teams working on a realistic way to rip the head off of an Olympian god in stunningly graphic detail. No, we had to use our imaginations when we wanted blood, violence and gore. And war crimes. And the Red Cross isn't digging any of that simulated violence.
Video games. Hollywood just never seems to get them right, unless that film in question is Grandma’s Boy. Most of the time, actors mash buttons as if they’re about to throw in the towel in a fighting game match with an Asian fellow. But most of the time, it;s downright hilarious to see Hollywood try and be legit with the industry.
Marketing a game is pretty easy these days. A mysterious package here, a bribe over there and a few teaser trailers thrown in for good measure and BAM! Job done, time to hit the bar. The thing is, gaming adverts these days are missing a certain something, a particular ingredient that has been lost over the years. I’m talking about downright tripping the light fantastic madness. Here’s ten adverts from yesteryear that downed a bottle of absinthe and then had some crystal meth for breakfast.
Video games. What are they good for? Absolutely nothin’! HWOAH! According to over zealous preachers and opportunistic politicians, video games will turn your kids into a bunch of social delinquents that will listen to the Parlatones. Frightening stuff. But one doctor who has done some research, thinks that a specific genre of games can actually help with your short term memory in the long run.
Creating a cover for your upcoming video game isn’t as easy as it looks. Unless it utilises the chin down, eyes up approach (Best for job interviews). And then you get the video game covers of software pirates. You’ve seen them before, at flea markets and at the robots. Hastily printed covers, sometimes the wrong one, in washed colours and cheap paper. And then you get the video game pirate covers of Syrian Games, which takes terribad to a new level.
We constantly hear how gaming damages kids and creates violent monsters, or how it is anti-social and can ruin relationships. But what does the actual research have to say about that?
If there’s one thing that I don’t have a problem with, it’s falling asleep. I can grab some shuteye pretty much anywhere, on anything. Which would explain why I woke up in a bathtub full of ice, a scar in my side and was a few organs short, the last time that I crashed at Geoff's place. According to science, all those late night sessions that he spent playing video games have been bad for him, as researchers now claim thattoo many games before beddy bye-times is a bad thing.
Don’t roll your eyes at me for bringing this topic up again there is a valid reason for this. The first being that after the 4th of July there simply is no news to report on but more importantly this response to sexism in video games is possible one of the most well articulated ones I’ve seen and well worth a watch.
Warren Spector, the legendary designer who brought you Deus Ex has weighed in on E3’s portent of games to come, and expressed a little concern, believing the ultraviolence has “gone too far.”
This rather incredible montage, put together by the chaps at Reverse Enginears for Polygon, managed to slip by us in the deluge of E3 stuff.
It shows the history of video games - told entirely using video games - condensed in to a 2 and a half minute clip. It’s pretty much like a gamer’s life flashing before his eyes. sure, there’s a chance your favourite game is missing - but if you even remotely like video games, you have to watch this. It’s magical.
Jade Raymond, the beautiful face that helped launch Assassin’s Creed thinks that the video game industry needs to get rid of its reliance on the big, dumb blockbuster titles that take up all the top spots on monthly sales charts - and that the medium itself needs to grow up.
Raymond currently heads Ubisoft Toronto, which is currently busy with the next Splinter Cell, and will soon start on a new, original IP.
Youtube video sensation Freddie Wong usually utilises his medium of choice to give us a look at video games come to life. This time, we see Freddie Wong travel back in time to tell the younger version of himself all about video games in the future.
Like a lot of you, he’s not exactly enamoured with motion controls but what would you tell a younger version of you about the future of video games given the chance?
I’d probably tell me not to worry about the Atari Jaguar too much, and I’d certainly convince a younger me to not get that Nokia N-Gage.
Check the video out - and then let us know sagely wisdom you’d impart on your past you.