Listen up ya bastiches! When it comes to hunting the galaxy for the dirtiest of bounties and getting your hands even dirtier, there’s only one Czarnian that’s man enough for the job. You’re looking for the ultimate bastich, the scourge of the cosmos and a friend to space-dolphins. And there ain’t nobody alive who can get the job done, the way that Lobo can.
The story of Superman is easily summarised in a few lines. Doomed planet. Desperate scientists. Last hope. Kindly couple. No matter how much Superman changes over the years, that core origin is what truly defines the hero. It’s what I dig about him, what makes him so great because he happens to have absolute power and has managed to avoid being corrupted by it. But what if Superman had landed elsewhere? What if Superman was…a communist?
Look, I understand that you want some protection. The kind of protection that a bulletproof vest or an army of bodyguards can’t provide. You want something that can stop a Brakpan bouncer in its tracks, armour that will allow you to fire repulsor P-klaps. Well I’ve got some good news for you. Because such armour does exist! And there are no catches whatsoever to owning your own Hulkbuster armour!
If there’s something hulking in your neighbourhood, who ya gonna call? If there’s something green and it looks like it may be filled with rage so catastrophically monstrous that it can f***ing brain-punch a gigantic Chitauri Sky war-worm to death with a single blow, who ya gonna call! Someone else! Or maybe, the Hulkbuster!
I’ve had a run-in with that Thanos bloke before. Nice guy, really friendly and actually fantastic to chat to once you get over the whole “having a gigantic gaping hole blasted into my chest with lightning eyes”. I think he came across as a bit of a bad guy in last year’s Guardians Of The Galaxy movie,a purple-skinned tyrant who threatened to smack the universe with an Infinity Gem that was basically a concentrated extinction-level event waiting to happen. It’s time to get to know the real Thanos.
If you’ve spent five minutes around me, you’d know that I’m a huge Ghostbusters fan. So much so, that I scratch-built my own Proton Pack back in 2013, something that I gloat about whenever I get the chance. Did I ever tell you guys about my Proton Pack? One thing that my pack didn’t have though, was a particularly impressive Neutrino Wand. Sure, I had lights but I had no sound thanks to a rough airplane trip and some dodgy wiring. Last year however, MattyCollector released their own replica of the infamous thrower. And I finally got my hands on one last week.
Shark Week? Please, who needs a tacky themed week of dubious science centred around a primal carnivore of the seas, when there happens to be some sexy Iron Man armour on display? Right here, it’s Stark Week, so sit back and admire some of the best prosthetic armour to fly off of shelves.
So you own all the Halo games. You’re a king when it comes to online action. Your tea-bagging skills are the stuff of legend. But do you live your Master Chief life outside of your console? Are you stylin’ and profilin’ enough to jump on a motorcycle, pretend it’s a Banshee and take a spin while wearing the iconic green and gold of your hero?
I like to think that Lazygamer.net provides a healthy working environment, but chances are, anyone at any time can and will go psycho in our offices, forcing you to shoot first. And judging by the fact that we’ve had a freezing chamber installed for “beers”, our next red-shirted intern could suffer a cruel fate soon.
I’m busy replaying Batman: Arkham Origins, and to be fair, it’s still a lacklustre and mediocre game that doesn’t live up to fantastic efforts of Rocksteady, Arkham Asylum and Arkham City. Still, if there’s one thing that I do like about the game, it’s the Batsuit. Which is probably why I’m slobbering over this figure right now.
One day, robots will rule over us all. In anticipation for this, I’ve begun sucking up pretty damn hard to my microwave. And I for one, will welcome our new robotic death-lords when they ascend to the top of the food chain. Especially of they sport detail like this.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Saints Row IV has one of the best video game weapons ever made. I simply adore the Dubstep Gun, as it blasts a continues stream of electronica at enemies. I wish that I could own one in real life. And I just might get that chance soon to lay down some brutal bass
While a bunch of you have no doubt seen an earlier screening of the latest Superman flick, Man of Steel, the majority of us who are way too scared and cold to venture outside will most likely only be seeing it tomorrow or this weekend. And then we’ll be wanting some merchandise afterwards, i reckon. I’m busting out the credit card for this bit of merch specifically.
What’s that you say? Gaming has some great heroes these days. Korvo from Dishonored, Kratos from God of War and Desmond McMonkeyface from the Assassin’s Creed franchise? I scoff at your selection. Scoff to the max. Back in the day when those guys were nothing more than pen on paper diaper concept drawings, there was one hero who stood tall and kept damn quiet. Gordon Freeman was his name, and he was an ass-kicking scientist in a biohazard suit and spectacles, swinging a crowbar around and kicking head-crab head-ass. And now he’s been immortalized, in statue form.
Halo 4, from 343 Industries is coming soon - and from first hand reports, it could be the best Halo yet. Halo’s one of those odd franchises that doesn’t just attract fans - it attracts super fans, with people completely losing themselves in Spartan lore. If you’re one of those super fans, you could end up winning a pretty damned exclusive replica of Halo’s iconic MA-37 assault-rifle.