The world is filled with bizarre, niche simulators. Things like Farm simulator, German Truck Simulator, Bus Driver, Simulator. London Underground Simulator, Street Cleaning Simulator. These are all real games, and people seem to keep on making more. why anyone would want to play a game that recreates a woefully mundane job is beyond my reckoning – but they’ve now reached their pinnacle.
It was a hot Jozi day when Geoff called me into his office, as he sat there sweating away in his leather chair, slowly fusing to it. “Brenda”, he said while I slowly gritted my teeth hard enough to crack some fillings, “I’ve got a game for you to review. In fact, you’re the only sub-humanoid on the team I can trust with this. Are you bronie enough for a freemium game by the name of…My Little Pony?" I looked Geoff straight in the nipples, and replied with a steely “You know I am”, before I proceeded to take a hard swig of tea with only two spoons of sugar in it from my She-Ra: Princess of power mug. “You damn well know I am, Geofferoo”. What followed next, was the darkest couple of hours of my life.