If there’s something hulking in your neighbourhood, who ya gonna call? If there’s something green and it looks like it may be filled with rage so catastrophically monstrous that it can f***ing brain-punch a gigantic Chitauri Sky war-worm to death with a single blow, who ya gonna call! Someone else! Or maybe, the Hulkbuster!
Good ol’ Obi-Wan Kenobi. The man was a hero of his time, a general in the brutal Clone Wars and the kind of Jedi you’d look up to in the darkest of times. Especially when said times involved leaving your freshly-amputated protégé to burn to death after a spectacular lightsaber battle. Yeesh, talk about going bat-Sith crazy. Made famous by the late Sir Alec Guinness, Obi-Wan Kenobi has always been an integral part of Star Wars. And now it’s time for the old man to finally get an eerily realistic figure based on his first appearance in Star Wars: A New Hope.
I’ve had a run-in with that Thanos bloke before. Nice guy, really friendly and actually fantastic to chat to once you get over the whole “having a gigantic gaping hole blasted into my chest with lightning eyes”. I think he came across as a bit of a bad guy in last year’s Guardians Of The Galaxy movie,a purple-skinned tyrant who threatened to smack the universe with an Infinity Gem that was basically a concentrated extinction-level event waiting to happen. It’s time to get to know the real Thanos.
I find your lack of Star Wars toys…disturbing. 2015 is pretty much 1999 all over again, although hopefully minus the annoying KFC ads and Jar Jar Binks. Star Wars returns with a vengeance as The Force Awakens, but you can bet that something else is going to rise up as well: MOICHENDISING! And if I’m going to throw some Republic credits down, it’ll most likely be for a collectible of epic scale.
Arnold Schwarzenegger made a career out of movies which starred his hamfists as they beat exposition into various thugs. Which he did, a lot. But which was the finest film of his career, worthy of a brand new highly detailed action figure? Terminator? Nope, we’ve got plenty of T-800s. Pregnant? Not unless you want to club in for a Danny Devito figure. No, that honour belongs to Commando, a movie which ate green berets for breakfast and crapped out memorable one liners. And now you can finally own a John Matrix figure.
Transformers toys aren’t exactly rare, but then again, you get a specific niche in the market for figures which are a cut above the rest. And much like my bank account when I saw this particular version of the fabled Autobot leader, one shall stand and one shall fall when you see what perhaps too much money gets you.
Look at your empty shelf. See all that dust? That ain’t collectible! And what’s this nonsense that I hear about wanting to save money and put away for things like food, insurance and medical assistance? Balls to that! I say blow your money! Live dangerously! Live flashy! Buy pieces of sculpted plastic with your hard-earned bucks!
I don’t think it’s possible to not enjoy some aspect of Star Wars. Whether you make voosh soosh sounds when you hold a stick and pretend to be a Jedi, or veg out on your couch and start speaking Huttese, there’s something for everyone. And for me, that’s cool Clone-Trooper collectibles.
I’m back! Strangely enough, I’ve never owned a Terminator action figure. Not for a lack of trying mind you, but I’d rather terminate myself than own anything related to Terminator: Salvation. Time to change that.
Man, I love me some action figures. Not that I unwrap them from their mint on card packaging and play with them or anything. Nope nope, that ain’t me. But damn, some figures are gorgeous, and even though Whiplash here sports the face of Mickey
Rooney Rourke, that Mark II armour made me do a double-take.
Let’s be honest here. There are only a handful of superhero movies out there where the main villain didn’t steal the show. One such character that stole scenes and hearts? The Asgardian trickster god, Loki. Without Tom Hiddleston around, the two Thor movies and the Avengers film might have been very different flicks in the end. And ol’ Loki is back, albeit in a much smaller package.
Ladies. Children. Geoff. Ready for another lesson? Then pay attention. Lesson number one. Did you know that GI Joe toys were originally going to be called Butch Army Infantry? And that buying this highly detailed action figure will have dozens of panties/underwear thrown at you?
In case you haven’t heard yet, there’s a certain rad-looking film on the way by the name of Iron Man 3. It cost about as much to make as what we received in kickbacks for that positive Bioshock: Infinite review, and stars pretty people. But enough about them, because like any other high budget film, it also has…toys!
You know what film I was looking forward to watching last year? GI Joe Retaliation. But then it got delayed, because Hollywood wanted some more Tatum. Honestly, the whole film should be about Snake Eyes though. Because if he looks this cool at one-sixth his actual height, imagine how cool he is in the actual film. In 3D!
Dammit Hot Toys, there’s only room for one Lich King around here. And while I’ve been siphoning the health of the Lazygamer crew to keep myself rejuvenated, you had to upstage me by actually shrinking down people. That might just explain this action figure at least, as the Agent Coulson figure that they’ll be releasing is a tad too realistic for my liking.