Godzilla! Or Gojirra, depending on your particular preference for the ancient king of all monsters. For several decades, the lumbering behemoth has been making life hell for the Japanese as he wrecked his way through prime real estate. Last year’s Godzilla movie saw the icon returned to big screen glory.
So of course, a game was going to take full advantage of that heat. It’s just a pity that the title is pure and utter crap, by the sound of things. Here’s a handful of impressions so far:
IGN – 45/100
Apart from its massive roster of Kaiju and an encyclopedia of monsters, Godzilla’s poor graphics, uncomfortable controls, and overly repetitive missions make this one of the worst renditions of the King of the Kaiju since he fought Matthew Broderick in Madison Square Garden back in ‘97.
Destructoid – 40/100
The only other bright spot is the Kaiju Guide, a collection detailing the playable creatures as well as quite a few not featured. I adored seeing old stills from the films and, sure, there is a certain appeal to playing as a bunch of these guys. But the feeling fades before long.
A love of the movies can only get you so far when the experience is this frustrating and hollow. What a letdown.
Hardcore Gamer – 40/100
There’s some fun to be had here, but this use of “some” is coming dangerously close to meaning minutes instead of hours. Perhaps Godzilla will get a decent game by his hundredth anniversary, but this isn’t it.
The Jimquisition – 30/100
Due to poor funding or a bankruptcy of talent, GODZILLA is an sad excuse for a game desperately attempting to be a worthy adaptation of the beloved monster series.
Cheap, bumbling, and interminably boring, it’s a bargain basement budget release with the unbelievable gall to present itself as a major “AAA” release.
Sounds like this is one game that should go back into the sea.
Last Updated: July 16, 2015
DragonSpirit009
July 16, 2015 at 15:03
Ugh this is just sad… I’m such a big Godzilla fan but why ruin it with games like this! Can’t they make a proper one?!
Jonah Cash
July 16, 2015 at 15:05
I could have told you this when you showed us the first trailer for this… It looked crap from day 1!
Hammersteyn
July 16, 2015 at 15:06
Agreed
WitWolfy
July 16, 2015 at 15:12
It never left ALPHA.
Hammersteyn
July 16, 2015 at 15:14
It looks like it was made for the PS2 but never got released
BagofHammers
July 17, 2015 at 00:10
Actually it looks EXACTLY like the original PS2 version.
Hammersteyn
July 16, 2015 at 15:06
“Due to poor funding or a bankruptcy of talent” LOL @ Jim. Was actually looking forward to a proper Godzilla game. The wait continues….
Ir0nseraph
July 16, 2015 at 15:23
They would probably make more profit if they just sold a Godzilla skin in mortal kombat.
Dutch Matrix
July 16, 2015 at 15:25
Round one! Fight! *SquishShloorp* Godzilla wins. Fatality!
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
July 16, 2015 at 15:35
That does sound a little more like a bathroom accident than a fatality though…
Dutch Matrix
July 16, 2015 at 15:37
If Godzilla steps on you, there is a bathroom accident before the fatality. Sure, it might be a nanosecond that separates the two…
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
July 16, 2015 at 15:38
That’s true, something in the sense of “Fiii…Urgh…”
Admiral Chief in Skellige
July 16, 2015 at 15:06
YOH
Dutch Matrix
July 16, 2015 at 15:09
So a lot like the last Godzilla movie then?
Hammersteyn
July 16, 2015 at 15:12
How so?
Dutch Matrix
July 16, 2015 at 15:14
They should have called that flick “Two Giant Moths Desperate to Bone but this Giant Lizard don’t want us to.”
Hammersteyn
July 16, 2015 at 15:15
Cockblockzilla
Dutch Matrix
July 16, 2015 at 15:16
Exactly just that!
Umar
July 16, 2015 at 15:09
60 dorras for dis?!
Dutch Matrix
July 16, 2015 at 15:10
Mebbe if the game contained 60 naked Dollas I would have… no. No. That is why we have the internet. For education and good clean fun! Yes. That is what I meant.
Hammersteyn
July 16, 2015 at 15:18
http://i.memeful.com/media/post/1RXGaZM_700wa_0.gif
Umar
July 16, 2015 at 15:29
LOLZ
Michelle
July 16, 2015 at 15:11
Dem thighs (o_O)
Alien Emperor Trevor
July 16, 2015 at 15:18
Godzilla should skip leg day & focus on arms for a change. :/
Dutch Matrix
July 16, 2015 at 15:22
I wonder how many Japanese villagers can be fed on a deep fried Godzilla thigh…
Michelle
July 16, 2015 at 15:33
Mmmmm with some soya sauce
Dutch Matrix
July 16, 2015 at 15:36
And noodles! Still sounds better than the Godzilla movie…
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
July 16, 2015 at 15:33
What?! No wait…You’re serious? They sold this game, in this state at $60 a copy in the year 2015? I’ve gone through this article three times already, I’m sure this is a joke, right? It has to be? At least now Batman Arkham Knight can get a break from some of the internet hate….
Pieter Smal
July 16, 2015 at 15:45
What a coincidence! I just typed a paragraph about LAIR for my master’s thesis. An equally terrible game, here is what I said:
With exceedingly negative reviews and poor sales, developer Factor 5 went bankrupt. I use the phrase “exceedingly negative” with restraint – Miller (2007) associates Lair with the satanic, writing:
[…] I went from thinking Lair wasn’t that bad to wondering if Lucifer himself pressed this Blu-ray disc in the pits of hell.
Sources:
Miller, G. 2007. Lair Review. [Online] http://www.ign.com/articles/2007/08/31/lair-review?page=1
[Acccessed 16 July 15].