We’ve been through our list of the top 100 games of this generation and the top games of 2013 with our awards post here but what we really need to fight about is what were the worst games of this year. Which games not only did you waste your money on but also your invaluable time?
Now this is obviously totally subjective and is not measured by sales, technical quality or anything scientific like that. It’s measured on what I felt just sucked.
10. NBA Live 14
This title starts our list off as it was the first entry into the next generation of video games for the NBA series. Releasing on the Xbox One and PlayStation 4 at release these guys had the basketball world in the palm of their hands.
People were expecting top notch physics, graphics, AI and gameplay with the developer really harnessing the power of the next generation, but it was summed up perfectly by PSXtreme who ended their review with
“NBA Live is a colossal disappointment in more ways then one; the technical aspects are well below average, the physics and animations are some of the worst we’ve seen this year, the AI is mentally deficient, and worst of all, nothing about this feels real.”
9. Star Trek: The Video Game
It’s never a good sign when a company feels the need to state that their video game is a video game in the title. But maybe Star Trek felt the need to not confuse anyone as it really wasn’t much of a game after all.
The story was meh, the gameplay simplistic and the environments not anything to write home about. Not to mention it was full of bugs and simply did not entertain at all.
When I saw Deadpool at Gamescom last year I have to admit I loved it. The humour was incredible, the fighting looked solid and the storyline as crazy as can be expected.
Unfortunately when the game finally released the fighting was bland, the storyline was idiotic, and not in a good way, and the entire experience was just the exact opposite of what you would expect from Deadpool.
7. Fast & Furious: Showdown
It’s been a sad year for the Fast & Furious franchise with the lead actor, Paul Walker, dying in a high speed accident. But that wasn’t the only black spot on a hugely successful franchise.
This year they release their Fast & Furious: Showdown title onto the Xbox 360 and PS3 where it immediately starting racing to the bottom of all quality charts. The game was boring, bland and utterly predictable. If you want an exciting racing game then get Burnout and avoid this like the plague.
6. Ride To Hell
This game that hopefully no one has played gets its place on the list even though I’ve never played it. It is simply here because it is the lowest scoring game of 2013 on metacritic and the usually quite complimentary PlayStation Official Magazine UK summed it up with the following
“Riding to actual Hell over 1000 miles of broken glass using your own scrotum as a toboggan would be more enjoyable.”
5. The Bureau: XCOM declassified
Not to be confused with XCOM Enemy Unknown which is a brilliant turn based strategy game, but XCOM the Bureau was their attempt to break into the first person shooter market and in doing so they brought some great ideas into the genre.
The slow motion strategy portions were a nice touch and the shooting was generally acceptable but this game that I first saw at E3 2010 was simply unfinished.
Buggy as hell and with a cut scene every time you walked through a door this game quickly became annoying. Add to that your idiot squad members who can’t do anything for themselves and it quickly becomes a trial by fire to even complete the game.
4. Angry Birds: Star Wars
Angry Birds is a great franchise, granted it’s been milked harder than Daisy before Christmas but the base idea is pretty good and entertaining.
Angry Birds on the console works adequately enough, I mean all you are doing is flinging birds at pigs so that wasn’t hard.
The reason Angry Birds is listed here is simply because they tried to charge nearly full price for a game that you can pick up for $1.99 on the iStore and I even got my iPad version free the other day. It’s daylight robbery and Rovio should be ashamed for taking milking to an entirely new level.
3. The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct
I’m a huge fan of The Walking Dead TV series and when Telltale released that fantastic point and click adventure game last year I was blown away. So the idea that we’re going to be getting a survival based first person shooter version in 2013 had me salivating.
Then it arrived.. The game played terribly, was buggy as hell and looked absolutely terrible.
There was no survival aspect as you could fight off an entire horde or zombies quite easily with a pipe and in the end the game was simply bad.
2. Aliens: Colonial Marines
Aliens: Colonial Marines was one of the most anticipated games of the year, it was finally time to head back into the horrifying world of mommy aliens with multiple mouths and to hook ourselves into mech suits to fight them.
Unfortunately what wasn’t what we got and I personally think Thunderbolt Games nailed it when they said
This is the very definition of a shameless cash-cow. Anyone of sound mind must steer clear.
1. Ashes Cricket 2013
We all saw this one coming, even though it’s a niche market game Ashes Cricket 2013 wins this inaugural award for being the only game I can ever remember that was released to retail and then subsequently cancelled and all the copies were recalled.
You have to be monstrously incompetent or arrogant to think you could release such a shambles onto the market and expect people not to complain and demand refunds.
You want to see how bad it is? Then take a look at this video, ignore all the normal bad quality game issues and fast forward to 9 minutes to see how AI should never be done.
And that’s it, so any games I should have listed that I forgot?
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I'm cranky, arrogant and ever so amazingly annoying but when you get to know me you will also realise I'm honest and incredibly good at describing myself... now pass me that beer