If there’s one thing missing in games these days, it’s proper boss fights. In an age where it took skill, timing and an eye for pattern recognition, we’ve had those glorious end-level fiends replaced by a barrage of quick-time events that barely challenge a player these days. Devil May Cry gave me back some semblance of the good ol’ days of button-timing with it’s glorious boss fights, but with Metal Gear Rising on the way, it looks like that 2013 crown boss fights is about to be snatched away.
Hot damn, if those boss fights don’t at least look like fun, then you’ve got to admire the imagination that went into crafting those antagonists. Now, it’d be easy to leave the story there, but seeing as how I love you guys enough to earn several restraining orders, here’s a few more deets on the end-levellers to make things more interesting. Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance is out 21 February on Playstation 3 and Xbox 360, and will most likely win the 2013 Lazygamer award for best game title in history of ever, hands down. Ha, get it? Hands down? Because Boss character Mistral has like a hundred of them? Ha ha oh hamba wena that’s comedy gold.
Known as the third “Wind of destruction”, Monsoon uses magnetic fields to control his segmented body sai weapons, using the gaps in his body to efficiently kill from a distance. The two sais that he wields have their own name, going by the moniker of “Dystopia”.
Another member of the “Winds of destruction”, Mistral uses remote control robotic arms that go by the name “Etranger”, either as extensions to her own fighting form, or as whips and rods.
The de facto leader of the Desperado Enforcement group, Sundowner is a brute with an unparalleled bloodlust. Using his custom hulking cyborg body and his twin machete blades “Blood Rust”, Sundowner is a force to be reckoned with on the field.
Some really weird oke from the wastelands of Port Elizabeth. Technically not a cyborg, he accidentally fused a fork to his foot in a microwave accident that also left him covered in like a whole two meters of aluminium foil. The thick foil. Available as DLC that will never be released and does not exist at all.
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Because he's the writer that Lazygamer deserves, but not the one it actually needs right now. So we'll hunt him. Because he can't take it. Because he's not a hero. He's a loud-mouthed journalist, a watchful procrastinator. A dork knight.