Life just isn’t fair. There are a great number of very real injustices in this world; Metallica losing to Jethro Tull for best heavy metal album at the Grammies; Ben Affleck being snubbed for the Oscars; Bafana Bafana losing to Mali in a penalty shootout and the fact that the Jersey Shore ever existed. It’s time to add another; the rather disappointing Assassin’s Creed 3 has outsold Far Cry 3 by nearly 3-to-1.
In its financial report for the quarter, Ubisoft has revealed that the last Assassin’s Creed game has sold through 12 million copies; a staggering amount for what’s easily the very worst game in the franchise. Not only did it take 6 hours to get started, but it features one of the dullest protagonist to ever feature in a game.
Worse though, is that it pisses all over the long-established historical lore and gave us an ending that made Mass Effect 3’s “choose-your-favourite-colour” ending seem like narrative genius.
That puts it nearly three times ahead of the infinitely better Far Cry 3 (more rubbish endings), which has managed to sell 4 and a half million copies. Coupled with Just Dance 4’s 8 million sellthrough, it’s put Ubisoft’s sales for the quarter at a rather healthy €802 million – or 9,583,418,800 South African Rands, or just enough to pay for Nkandla’s toilets.
That’s good news for Ubisoft, but bad news for us – because it likely means we’ll be seeing a lot more Assassin’s Creed, with it likely to become an annual franchise. I tell you this though; they’re going to have to do something really special with the next AC for me to even consider playing it.