If you’re in Gauteng right now, you’ll know that it’s unbearably hot today. It’s too hot to even think of food, to be frank. All that’s going in my head is an endless triangular kaleidoscope of red, green and black. I don’t even particularly like watermelon, or most melon in general, but right now, I want to be inside of one. It’s alright when it’s stuffed with Vodka, I suppose. Interestingly, the watermelon appears to have originated, or be native to, Southern Africa – spreading around the world thanks to European colonialists in the 1500s. Beyond a bit of sugar and a smattering of vitamin C, is about as nutritious as eating sand. As its name suggests, it’s 91% water, with the rest of it made up of fruit sugars and sadness.
In Other News: Skullgirls developer has an RPG you can’t split, Tanks go on a rampage, Ubisoft sits in its Ivory Tower and there’s a horror game that gives you hayfever.
Here’s the news we didn’t post because we were too busy setting up our in-game pension funds, because that’s what video games are all about.
News
Skullgirls dev returns to Indiegogo with Indivisible
Ghost Trick’s been pulled from iOS completely, even for those who bought it
ReCore developer reveals multiplayer twin stick shooter Dead Star
Pollen is a sci-fi thriller without jump scares
The Elder Scrolls Online opens the doors to Orsinium in November
The Crew developer Ivory Tower acquired by Ubisoft
World of Tanks 10.0 update will launch Rampage mode
Stuff
Category 6 Kaiju requires urgent Jaeger intervention
SOMA and the art of internal consequence
Look at this gorgeous Super Nintendo book
Six common things you do in video games (that are war crimes)
Videos
Rock Band 4 – Electric Trailer
The Crew: Wild Run – Summit Trailer
What’s on at The Movies
Kurt Russell has a serious situation in this first trailer for cannibal western BONE TOMAHAWK
Marvel taps a shadowy director for THOR: RAGNAROK
Cinema is about to get a whole lot worse thanks to DANGEROUS MEN
This first trailer for Martin Scorsese’s VINYL makes you wanna kick somebody’s ass!
Cinophile: NINJA IN THE DRAGON’S DEN
It’s all a matter of perspective in this final trailer for SPECTRE
Last Updated: October 6, 2015
Grand Admiral Chief
October 6, 2015 at 16:04
SAAAAAAAAAAAAAI die waatlemoen
SAAAAAAAAAAAAAI die waatlemoen
My mamma roei die skuitjie
My pappa blaas die fluitjie
My boetie draai die orreltjie
SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI DIE WAATLEMOEN!
VampyreSquirrel
October 6, 2015 at 16:12
I think this is the first and only time I’ve ever wanted to down vote you.
Grand Admiral Chief
October 7, 2015 at 06:58
SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI DIE WAATLEMOEN!
VampyreSquirrel
October 7, 2015 at 08:20
SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT YOUR WH*RE MOUTH! (Sung in the same tune)
DragonSpirit009
October 6, 2015 at 16:27
Damn! That brings back some horrible tone deaf memories!
Hammersteyn
October 6, 2015 at 16:28
Indeed, my childhood was fucked up.
DragonSpirit009
October 6, 2015 at 16:45
Mine was full of injuries and getting into trouble. Fell out of trees so many times… I’m surprised I’m not physically broken!
VampyreSquirrel
October 6, 2015 at 16:50
But you ar…. oh wait… haha… physically broken…
DragonSpirit009
October 6, 2015 at 16:52
Yeah we don’t talk about the mentally issues XD
VampyreSquirrel
October 6, 2015 at 16:55
What mental issues? I don’t have any *chuckle* *twitch*
Hammersteyn
October 6, 2015 at 16:51
LOL same here, at that young age we’re almost immortal
Brady miaau
October 6, 2015 at 16:58
My parents in law actuallly have a trap-orrel. In perfect working order. Well, does not need turning, but close.
Grand Admiral Chief
October 7, 2015 at 07:00
As do mine, one of the “trappe” is all messed up, but the rest of it is still marginally working
Alien Emperor Trevor
October 6, 2015 at 16:06
When my dad first came to ZA he ate a whole watermelon while drinking in the sun. He passed out & ended up with sun stroke. He never ate watermelon again.
Grand Admiral Chief
October 6, 2015 at 16:06
I thought you were from outer spaaace
VampyreSquirrel
October 6, 2015 at 16:19
Aliens can drink booze and eat watermelon in the sun too.
Hammersteyn
October 6, 2015 at 16:20
Because obviously it was the watermelons fault
VampyreSquirrel
October 6, 2015 at 16:22
Of course! It’s the watermelon and the sun, the booze would NEVER do that!
DragonSpirit009
October 6, 2015 at 16:28
Never have I heard such true words XD
Sageville
October 7, 2015 at 09:47
When we first came to SA, my folks thought watermelons were like normal melons, so we tossed all the pips and red stuff and tried to eat the white parts….
Hammersteyn
October 6, 2015 at 16:21
Oh yeah, TESO. Forgot all about that
Ryanza
October 6, 2015 at 16:57
http://downtrend.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Academic-Magnet-Bud-Walpope-Watermelon-Racist.jpg
Sageville
October 7, 2015 at 09:45
Ugh
Her Highness the Hipster
October 6, 2015 at 19:10
i think it’s consuming all that sadness that makes it so satisfying…