Now, I don’t know about you guys, but the annual Christmas break has left me with more, erm, me. Good food and drink has had to go somewhere, and it seems to be inhabiting the region where my stomach used to be considerably flatter.
In an effort to combat this growing tide of lard, I recently purchased the Jean Claude Van Damme book on physical fitness. And so far, the exercises have been quite strenuous. Believe me, when it comes to losing excess weight, nothing beats having hungry dogs chase you because you happen to have meat wrapped around your ankles.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go enter myself into a bloodsport kumite in a seedy Taiwanese underground arena for phase two of my JCVD exercises.
In Other News: Bad news for Bastion fans, Xbox offers tattoos to subscribers and Ninja Theory receives a few death threats.
Here’s the news we didn’t post, because we were too busy getting a jaws of life kit to help remove our palms from our heads after we found out about some casting decisions made for the Evil Dead remake film.
PS3 is lacking “Consumer excitement”, says analyst
Could South Korea muck up the release date for Diablo 3?
Spec Ops: The Line is aiming to be the “Apocalypse Now” of gaming
EVO 2012 Game season and tournament line up details
More Pokémon games on the cards for 2012
Get tattoos for your Xbox Live avatar
There will be no Bastion 2, despite strong sales
Ninja Theory has received death threats over the Devil May Cry reboot
Across the Network
Has the secret villain in Marvel’s Avengers been revealed? SPOILER WARNING!
John Carpenter’s The Thing, now with more clay and penguins
The Evil Dead remake has it’s Ash… and it’s a weird one
We have our Star Trek 2 villain! And it’s Sherlock Holmes!
Wrath of the Titans Trailer – The movie I wanted
Filesharing is now a religion
Model: Juliana Martins
In this article
Because he's the writer that Lazygamer deserves, but not the one it actually needs right now. So we'll hunt him. Because he can't take it. Because he's not a hero. He's a loud-mouthed journalist, a watchful procrastinator. A dork knight.