You can now order Goat Simulator

Whatever floats your goat

The internet spoke, and Coffee Stain Studios has listened. Goat simulator is coming. The game I’ve pegged as the Game of All Time is a fun little project that was never meant to be a commercial project, but they’ve made a ewe turn. The world, it seems, wants to live out its Capricorn fantasies.

You can pre-order the game for $9.99 here, giving you access to the obviously anticipated Goat Simulator 3 days before it officially releases on Steam.Pre-ordering gets you a guaranteed Steam key, and you’ll very probably be able to earn Steam achievements for doing goaty things.

It all seems a bit fun, but $10 bucks to run about as a goat doesn’t strike me as good value. even the developer don;t really recommend you spend your money on Goat Simulator.

Goat Simulator is a small, broken and stupid game. I t was made in a couple of weeks so don’t expect a game in the size and scope of GTA with goats. In fact, you’re better off not expecting anything at all actually. To be completely honest, it would be best if you’d spend your $10 on a hula hoop, a pile of bricks, or maybe a real-life goat.

But wait! Coffee Stain Studios has confirmed they’ll be adding steam workshop support, so the game will end up being modded to madness, adding all sorts of fun fun animals and silly things to do. I probably won;t be buying and playing this myself, but I sure as hell am keen to watch other people’s Let’s Plays of this madness when it’s released later this year.

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Author:Geoffrey Tim

I'm old, grumpy and more than just a little cynical. One day, I found myself in possession of a NES, and a copy of Super Mario Bros 3. It was that game that made me realise that games were more than just toys to idly while away time - they were capable of being masterpieces. I'm here now, looking for more of those masterpieces.

Don't stop now.... you're having a good time


  • Captain GUZ

    No kidding its tuff being a goat

    • Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!

      badum…..tsh

  • Gr8_Balls_o_Fire

    Will this be another Flappy Bird?

    Flappy Goat? Wait i’m off to CIPRO

  • VampyricSquirrel Monk

    What else are they going to create a simulator for? I thought SimAnt was a waste of programming, but this takes the cake.

    • Captain GUZ

      a game about programing

      • VampyricSquirrel Monk

        Programmer Simulator…. my word that’ll probably be boring.

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          But programming always looks so exciting in the movies. Bright, colourful, thumping music & full of hot women who aren’t hot because they wear glasses.

          • VampyricSquirrel Monk

            Yeah, true, but it’ll have to be “realistic”… showing what programming is REALLY like. #nolife #foreverSP #workingnights #noweekends

          • Captain GUZ

            #foreverSP FTW…………..not multipalyer for best results

          • Captain GUZ

            What was that movie with called with Angelina Jolie and they were all hackers or somthing , lol they still used dtiffies in dat movie

          • Acornbread

            Hackers I think. The 90s are looking nearly as silly as the 80s now.

          • Captain GUZ

            maybe we getting old…….

          • Acornbread

            Old people are smarter. :P

          • TiMsTeR1033

            To think they thought we would have flying cars by now..

          • Acornbread

            We do but they don’t usually work anymore after they land. :(

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            … Hackers ;P

      • Weanerdog

        Sim accountant

    • Mossel

      Woah there! SimAnt was awesome! I completely destroyed the entire yard and the house with my ants!

  • Acornbread

    • VampyricSquirrel Monk

      Well said!

      • Captain GUZ

        hahahhaah you guys match up

        • VampyricSquirrel Monk

          Oi, leave the squirrels alone!

          • Captain GUZ

            Only if u tell me were all the acorns are hidden

          • Acornbread

            Nevah!

          • Captain GUZ

            Please i’m starving

          • Acornbread

            Okay fine.

          • Captain GUZ

            yay, promise wont eat it all in one go

        • Acornbread

          Here.

    • Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!

      Bwahahahahahahhaa

    • TiMsTeR1033

      This goat is Skyrim approved

      • Captain GUZ

        U play ESo beta? was very disappointed

        • TiMsTeR1033

          Nope, haven’t even played skyrim much, as I don’t own it I am a sad panda I know.

          • Captain GUZ

            I downloaded that B!Tch for 4 day , finished on last day of beta test, was highly disapointed, rather play skyrim. I mean 1000 rand for game plus subs what are these guys smoking

          • TiMsTeR1033

            Socks filled with herion. I had a funny feeling this would fail, look if they can make it work would perhaps be great, but Elderscrolls games are known for the glitches.

          • Captain GUZ

            Ya im a big fan(of the lore) but cant see myself paying every month to play skyrim on steroids

          • TiMsTeR1033

            Neither would I man. It should be free or atleast alot cheaper.

          • VampyreSquirrel

            Heroin is cheaper than TESO

          • TiMsTeR1033

            So the answer about debit is?

          • VampyreSquirrel

            I answered you twice… sheesh… I couldn’t add my debit cards… Visa and Master Card work tho.

          • TiMsTeR1033

            I never saw man my bad! thanks for checking that for me!

          • VampyreSquirrel

            No problem dude

  • Alien Emperor Trevor

    It’ll quickly become your goat-to game for crazy fun eh Geoff?

    • VampyricSquirrel Monk

      Da dum TSH

  • InsanityFlea

    I’m not sure if i want to laugh or cry.

    • Acornbread

      Both, is the appropriate response. :P

  • Captain GUZ

    Just dont goggle goat

  • Umar Reborn

    I wonder if you can sacrifice the goats to summon a demon

  • https://twitter.com/WernerMorris Werner Morris

    Yes this might very well be the best game of all time.

  • TiMsTeR1033

    What’s next, Fly simulator. Experience, a world of sitting on dung, landing in peoples food, flying, avoid fly squatters and DOOM. Coming 2016 Spring

    • Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!

      That actually sounds pretty cool

      • TiMsTeR1033

        I know I wanted to say that but wasn’t sure anyone else would agree.

    • Acornbread

      Only if it has Oculus support.

      • Captain GUZ

        whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

      • TiMsTeR1033

        That would fuck with your head!

        • Acornbread

          :D

  • Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!

    I vote that Darryn needs to do the review for this. Anyone else agree?

    • VampyricSquirrel Monk

      Seconded! Totally agree.

    • TiMsTeR1033

      Thirded! if that is a word!

    • Captain GUZ

      Thats just mean

      • VampyreSquirrel

        That’s the point :P

        • Captain GUZ

          soz in good guy mode as i’m in a good mood this morning

          • VampyreSquirrel

            Lol! No problem, I understand… I’m just going to talk to Geoff and Gavin to try make sure Darryn gets this to review hehehe

      • TiMsTeR1033

        Mean is reserved for good people.hehe

  • DBL_ZA

    This will be about as exciting as watching a goat chewing grass *ba dum tsss*

    • Hammersteyn

      LOL

      • DBL_ZA

        Had to get it in before someone else did (no sick thoughts)

  • Hammersteyn

    More amped for this game than Titanfall

    • DBL_ZA

      What if Titanfall had giant robot goats?

      • Hammersteyn

        It would be more like MAAAAAATLEFIELD 4 or COD:Goats

        • DBL_ZA

          XD XD XD

          I’d like to submit this for comment of the week

        • Umar Reborn

          TROLOLOOL Great!!

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        The Titans could be trolls, and goats are great at wall running & knocking down trolls. It’s brilliant, Billy Goats Gruff brought to life.

        • DBL_ZA

          Mmmm I see a mod on the way….

    • Captain GUZ

      Source engine FTW ……………….NOT

      • TiMsTeR1033

        you said it man!

  • TiMsTeR1033

    One of the many challenges in Goat simulator, Goat Vs Car

  • Macethy

    Why would someone pay for something so stupid? It only encourages people to create more trash like this and flood the marketplace.

  • Rags

    The result of laddergoat?

  • HvR

    NEEEDS MOAAR GOATSTEP!!!

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