Win some Wolfenstein goodies

Wolfenstein banner

You all know Darryn enjoyed playing the new Wolfenstein. He kept saying it was sehr gut, and we are inclined to believe him. I suppose that’s why we’re happy to be doing a give away courtesy of Ster.

The Menschen of Ster have bestowed upon us the following super geil prize to give away to a lucky reader:

  • Copy of the game (on winner’s platform of choice)
  • Lanyard
  • Steel book
  • Music from the game
  • Set of postcards

Now, I know you all like to show off your awesome language skills, so I have devised a particularly fun way of entering this competition. That’s right, I predict the community Goebbels up the mode of entry – you must write a comment using a German or Nazi-inspired pun. However, due to our boredom with the most overused one, any comment that includes “did Nazi that coming” will not be counted towards entries. Neither will derogatory or anti-semitic ones or ones that make light of the holocaust.

Multiple entries are allowed (and encouraged). Winners must be based within the borders of South Africa so we can get the goodies to you. Competition closes next Friday, so get goose-stepping to it. We’ll close off this one next week Friday, 13 June. It’ll be a lucky Friday the 13th for at least one person.

So, why do you want to get your hands on the game? What kind of Schadenfreude will you exhibit if you win and rub it in everyone else’s faces?

In this article
Home » Competitions » Win some Wolfenstein goodies

Join the Conversation

  • Admiral Chief Blackburn

    All zese Nazi jokes, zey make me Fuhrerious

    • HvR – THE Average GAmer

      Thats what Adolf said

      • Corrie Botha

        Sadly that’s why she never said, it was illegal to do so.

      • Stan Smith

        Adolf was such a deutschbag.

  • Admiral Chief Blackburn

    Todayz weather forecast vil be Reich, with a strong chance of Heil

  • Admiral Chief Blackburn
  • Admiral Chief Blackburn

    The comment section is Goering to be good

  • Jedi JJ

    Looks like the Admiral is quite lus for this one. Don’t let Mein Kempff win it!

    • Admiral Chief Blackburn

      Oh znap

    • Rinceinantici

      Vinner!

  • Admiral Chief Blackburn

    I saw a Nazi driving at 88mph. Probably going Back To the Führer.

    • JasonDK

      Only the admiral making comments so far? I did NA-ZI that coming…heh…hehehe…get it…hehehe

      • Hammersteyn

        You should have read the article

        • JasonDK

          I had nothing :(

          • Hammersteyn

            XD

          • Hammersteyn

            Google

          • Jedi JJ

            Nein nein nein nein nein!!!
            That’s cheating.

          • JasonDK

            It must be the Jewn cold…

      • Jedi JJ

        Eish.

      • Rinceinantici

        Well he has been enjoying speaking in different languages all day, so let him I say!

    • Hammersteyn

      That’s not funny Anne Frankly I’m offended

      • Mark Treloar

        He definitely wont make Schindler’s List.

    • Rian Mostert

      Hahahaha! I want to win but damn dude, with that, you win! =P

  • Hammersteyn

    I see Admiral Grammar Nazi is hard at work.

    • Admiral Chief Blackburn

      Hitlarious

      • Jedi JJ

        Jew shut your mouth!

        • Trebzz

          I see what Jew did there

        • Hammersteyn

          Now now don’t be a deutschbag

          • Jedi JJ

            Nou wil ek sommer ‘heil’

          • Hammersteyn

            Are you really Goering to ‘heil’?

          • Hondsepop

            Sieg heil?

  • Jedi JJ

    I think Hitler had an idea there with creating a master race.
    We have arrived.

  • Hammersteyn

    ExceSSive puns incoming

    • Jedi JJ

      That’SS juSSt terrible

      • Admiral Chief Blackburn

        Don’t get a Koch from it

        • Hammersteyn

          Heilarious!

          • Mark Treloar

            It’s only Heilarious if you get run over by a Volkswagen.

          • Hammersteyn

            Or as Clarkson advert went. The new VW from Berlin to Warsaw in one tank.

          • Jedi JJ

            The Nazi’s had a room for Clarkson. Apparently not so light on gas.

            Edit: Crap. Forgot about that rule. Sorry.

  • http://www.craiglotter.co.za/ Craig Lotter

    Winning this should be as easy as a walk in the Poland.

  • Admiral Chief Blackburn

    Don’t be zuch ein Dirlewanger und pick me for ze goodies

  • Sageville

    Finally, my homage to MC Hammer…

    • Hammersteyn

      Do we need to refresh? Is it Halt! hammerzieg?

      • Admiral Chief Blackburn

        HALT

  • Admiral Chief Blackburn

    Eichmann zis is getting difficult coming up vif original jokes

    • Duffman! Formerly_known as_the

      I know. Mine is probably going to be the Wurst…

  • Sageville

    …and this

  • Corrie Botha

    oooh got one , Why did the soldiers brush their teeth after eating sauerkraut? , To avoid leaving a nazi taste in their mouth .

    • Hammersteyn

      LOL!

  • Dutch Matrix

    … Prentjie. Verfris…

  • https://twitter.com/SaveTheQueenIX Umar’s Crown

    It takes me 2 minutes to kampf

  • string_slinger

    So they say Hitler was a Nazi’cist…

  • Corrie Botha

    I’m going to be Fuhrerious if I do not win ze Compitition

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    “n Nazi pun? Ek dink das boot my vuurmaakplek.

  • https://twitter.com/SaveTheQueenIX Umar’s Crown

    Hey Juden

  • Consumer of Little Rabbits

    They said I had the reich stuff to make hitler heil, but I failed due to me having the wurst sausage making skills. Upon fuhrer inspection it seems I left mein kampf-er cream next to the cheeSSauce.

    EDit: That was as painful to write as it was to read, Im sorry.

    • Admiral Chief Blackburn

      Kampfer cream, love it!

    • Hammersteyn

      Don’t worry I Goebeled it up

    • Consumer of Little Rabbits

      Second Edit: Screw you guys it was brilliant. more upvotes naow please.

  • Admiral Chief Blackburn

    Ok, so its WW2. Germans and Americans in opposing trench, stalemate, each side wanting to outwit the other. Americans ask amongst themselves, what a common German name is, they decide Hans is quite common.

    They shout “HANS”

    Hans jumps up and does the Nazi salute, Americans shoot him kaput.

    This goes on for a while, Germans are getting slaughtered. They decide on a tactic.

    “What is a common American name?” “John” they decide.

    They shout “JOHN”

    John replies: “Is that you HANS?”

  • Hondsepop

    Give me ein Focke-Wulf now!

  • Corrie Botha

    What do you call a blind german: A not see

    • Admiral Chief Blackburn

      Haha

  • Jedi JJ

    Some of these puns are so painful (mostly my own), but what else can Jew do?

    • Sageville

      Jewish you were that funny! (Yeah I’m feeling kinda uncomfortable where this is going)

      • Jedi JJ

        Me too.
        But I want that prize to be mein! *clips heels together*

        • Sageville

          Most of my German originates from porn videos… I’m viegt

  • Admiral Chief Blackburn

    ALARM ALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRM!

    • Jedi JJ

      Wow dude.
      Total win there. Just brought back memories of my younger days.

    • Sageville

      Das Boot-iful

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    If I win this I would be so happy I would go on a blitzkrieg with my vleisgewher

    • Admiral Chief Blackburn

      FLEISCH

      • HvR – THE Average GAmer

        Sorry I lost lyrics that came with my Rammstein LIFAD CD

  • Corrie Botha

    what did ze German soldier say to ze medic I have no Hans

    • Hammersteyn

      LOL!

  • Hammersteyn

    I just got an invite for tonight…(refresh)

  • Hammersteyn

    Hitler wasn’t such a bad guy.

    After all, he did kill Hitler.

    • Admiral Chief Blackburn

      6 million kills, one death
      KAMPFER

      • Mark Treloar

        It’s difficult Fermi to come up with a bomb to win this.

  • https://twitter.com/SaveTheQueenIX Umar’s Crown

    If I was a Reich Girl na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na

  • Hammersteyn

    Why wouldn’t Eva Braun give Adolf a blowjob?

    He always left a Nazi taste in her mouth.

    • HvR – THE Average GAmer

      Adolf should have tried shouting “Das Boot Das Boot” just before shooting his V2.

    • Jedi JJ

      Tired of the invasions?

  • Morne Nell

    “Die spinnen, die German!” (“They’re nuts, those Germans!”)

  • Rinceinantici

    Ein kain in vik a veking vall

    • Jedi JJ

      vhat ze fuk?

      • Rinceinantici

        Veking vall! You Vlick!

        • Jedi JJ

          LAL! (Lachen Aus Laut)

  • Morne Nell

    Es ist (einfach) zum Schießen. = “It’s (simply) too funny for words.”

    • Hondsepop

      nein mein kleine Puppe, seine Kriegs

  • Morne Nell

    Da liegt der Hund begraben. = “That’s the crux/root of the matter.”

  • Wyzak

    German coast guard: Hallo, this is the German coast guard.
    Ship: Mayday! Mayday! We are sinking!
    German coast guard: What are you sinking about?

  • UnholyMunk

    How do you kill Nazi’s? Von by von….

  • Morne Nell

    “I have no lust” in German it doesn’t mean you’re impotent, it just means you cant really be bothered to do anything.

  • Admiral Chief Blackburn

    99 Kriegsminister
    Streichholz und Benzinkanister
    Hielten sich für schlaue Leute
    Witterten schon fette Beute
    Riefen: Krieg und wollten Macht
    Mann, wer haette das gedacht
    Dass es einmal soweit kommt
    Wegen 99 Luftballons

  • Morne Nell

    Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz

    This is a law that refers to the correct labelling of beef. Obviously considered important enough that there’s a (very long) word for it. Then again, there has been that horsemeat scandal in Europe.

    • Jedi JJ

      ZL,NG
      (zu lang, nicht gelesen) aka TL,DR

  • Dutch Matrix

    Hans drank first

  • Morne Nell

    Ich Liebe Dich

    When said correctly sounds like you are saying “I will hit you with shovel” or “I will leave you” or “I love Dick”. And if your boyfriend’s name is not Richard that might be a hard one to explain to your parents

  • Morne Nell

    Ihre Mutter säugt Schweine

    Said only to an enemy or a very easygoing friend, it means “Your mother suckles pigs” and is thus the most brutal insult known to mankind.

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    What watch did Hitler wear?
    A Swatchtika

  • Admiral Chief Blackburn

    ALL HEIL
    T.I.R.D.
    (ala Zulu on my Stoep)

    • HvR – THE Average GAmer

      Ze don’t call me my Die Hardt for nothzing

      • Admiral Chief Blackburn

        HAHAHA, (probeer ‘n pic daarvan te kry, sukkel)

      • Jedi JJ

        RADBVL! (rollen auf dem Boden vor lachen)

  • Corrie Botha

    Why was a Nazi going 88Mph?He was going Back to the Führer

    • Admiral Chief Blackburn

      Already did that one old boy (see below)

      • HvR – THE Average GAmer

        Yes he is Putching his luck

      • Corrie Botha

        Did nazi that, oh well(pun aside ,Seriously)

  • Greylingad

    Veit…Veit…Veit… you mean to tell me zat zere is a competitzion about ze wolfenstein game, giffing avay a copy off ze game on ze platform of zeir choice? ZIss is macknifisant newvs, I shall celebrate by drinking orange…no no, juice, not ze vahn you vere sinking about… And in additzion zey vill be giffing avay a lanyard (vich I don’t understand, maybe a boatyard yes?), a stahl book – ziss vould be pointless, pagjess are suppossed to be maidt out off paper, mussik frmo ze game ist gut ja und a set off postcarhts, ziss will be gud for any travelling nazi yes?

    • Hondsepop

      Zezus, that was hard to read.

      • Greylingad

        Hahaha, Sorry, the gherman accent is hard to type…

  • Admiral Chief Blackburn
    • Jedi JJ

      Judging by the amount of beer per person it looks like a Friday night for OVG.

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    Zoe, both you and Darryn must watch what you eat at E3 heil furhctose content is bad for ze heart.

  • Rinceinantici

    fast and führerous

    • Jedi JJ

      All the cars in that show must be jewsd up.

    • HvR – THE Average GAmer

      Dis wat sy gesê het

  • Morne Nell

    Arschbackengesicht (arse cheek face)

  • Sk3tz0

    For all his Faults, he really made comfy Chairs

    • Jedi JJ

      So says Darth Vader. The sci-fi version of Hitler.

      • Admiral Chief Blackburn

        NOT EVEN REMOTELY TRUE!!!!!!!

        • Jedi JJ

          It’s not about correctness, damn it. It’s about the competition!
          Look at my handle, you Sith scum. Do not try me!!

      • Sk3tz0

        Darth was just a misunderstood Apprentice..

  • Sageville

    Vieg dis, I’m off to play Meinkraft!

  • Corrie Botha

    Did you know dat ze Nazi’s had first invented ze social media, everytime Hitler Posted news he got so many Reich’s

  • Morne Nell

    Ich besorge das Bier — “I’ll get the beer”

  • Beast Of Caerbannog

    Zat vun was was as veak as ze French resistance.

  • Morne Nell

    langsam langsam — “little by little”

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    I putsch it to you

  • Sk3tz0

    How many Germans does it take to screw in a Lightbulb….

    NEIN

  • Morne Nell

    das kannst du deiner Oma erzählen — “tell it to your Grandmother”

  • Morne Nell

    nul acht funfzehn (0-8-15) — “standard issue / mediocre”

  • Greylingad

    So the Germans are in the trenches facing off against the Russians, and the Russians decide they need to find a way of defeating them without any more losses, Comrad Vladimir shouts over the sound of gunfire:
    “Hans!”
    “Heil!” as he pops his head over the trench – bang headshot… after about the third Hans kicking the bucket, the Germans decide their going to retaliate:
    “Ivan” …. silence
    “Ivan”…. ” is zat you Hans”
    “Javol” – Bang….

    • Jedi JJ

      Admiral really has coined all the good ones already.

      • HvR – THE Average GAmer

        He has been practicing for nein long years

        • Jedi JJ

          I so badly wanted to reply with a bad pun, but I’m all out.

          Just doesn’t feel reich anymore.

      • Greylingad

        Whoops, only saw his now….

  • Corrie Botha

    Knock, Knock
    Who’s there?
    Gestapo.
    Gestapo who?
    vee ask ze questions here!

  • https://twitter.com/SaveTheQueenIX Umar’s Crown

    Neo-Geo Nazism …. Damn I’m running dry

    • Hondsepop

      Und does ist watz she secht

  • Morne.Frans

    If I can win theis competition it will truely be my HEIL LITE for 2014.

  • Sk3tz0

    What do you call a Blind German?

    a NOT see..

  • Rinceinantici

    Zats it people! I’m Reich outa here!

    • Jedi JJ

      Auf Wiedersehen!

    • Hondsepop

      Ja wol

    • HvR – THE Average GAmer

      Auf you go little roten kopf

      • Jedi JJ

        Why does “red” in German seem so alike to rotten? Eish.

  • Morne.Frans

    What do you get when you cross a Chinese dish with Hitlers Struggles… Chow Mein Kampf.. Da dish…

  • Ektso Gedinkja

    “No hans, you missed it, i said take ze third Reich”

  • Greylingad

    What’s the difference between an Austrian and a German? when you ask the German directions to the post office he’ll make you repeat them…

  • Morne.Frans

    I will surely Pantzer all of my rivals in this competition.

  • http://www.craiglotter.co.za/ Craig Lotter

    I’m so keen to win this that my panzer on fire!

  • Sk3tz0

    I was clearing out my late German Grandfather’s closet and decided to give all his old clothes to the local charity shop.
    I handed over the bag of clothes to the shop assistant who was rummaging through it when a horrified expression formed on her face.
    “How dare you bring this uniform in to my shop” she exclaimed angrily. “This is a symbol of pain, shame and humiliation.”
    Hugely embarrassed at this turn of events, I quickly took back the bag.
    “I’m truly sorry” I said. “I had no idea he was a Stormers fan.”

  • Morne.Frans

    Are you Kamfortable yet?

  • Jedi JJ

    (a pun using the word kraut)

    • HvR – THE Average GAmer

      Nou is jy net besig om jou naam krauter te maak

    • Unavengedavo

      Oi! You! Get kruat of here

  • Unavengedavo

    Der ver zwei peanuts, valking down der strasse, and von vas… assaulted! peanut.

  • Morne.Frans

    Luger over here its Adolf in doing tricks. Da dish…

  • Unavengedavo

    I’d lean over and whisper in their ear… Hail hydra

  • Sk3tz0

    I was watching trials in court the other day from the public gallery and a German guy was on trial for speeding. The judge called him up to the stand and asked him, “What is your name?” but the German guy just looked at him blankly and replied, “No English.”
    “Does anyone here speak German?” the Judge asked. I put up my hand. “OK, come down here and translate, please. OK, translate what I say. ‘What is your name and where are you from?'”
    I shouted: “Vot is your name and vere are you from?”
    I got a £50 fine and got banned from the courthouse. Totally worth it.

  • Jedi JJ

    Tomcat and Jerry, or rather Tomcat versus Jerry

  • Corrie Botha

    Hitler is on the road. His car races past a Farm. A pig jumps on the
    road. The chauffeur cannot stop in time. The pig dies. Hitler orders his
    chauffeur to go to the farm and tell the farmer. The chauffeur sais to
    the farmer: I am ze driver of our Führer! Ze svine is dead!

  • Alex Hicks

    I’m German, and Eva Braun the brunt of enough jokes already.

    • HvR – THE Average GAmer

      Her fault for Goebling up all the Adolf wurst

  • Lupus

    I said Nien not nine stop whipping me

  • Raidz

    Hit-ler me with a win!

  • Raidz

    Wofenstein is badass Ann Frankly damn awesome

  • Kagutsuchi

    We all want to win this. AMIREICH?

  • Morne.Frans

    A Berlin stone gathers no moss.

  • Morne.Frans

    I would like to order some curry and Reich thanks.

  • Kagutsuchi

    Sitting on Mein Kampfy chair and thinking of puns ain’t easy, anne frankly I’m running out of ideas. I must be lacking concentration.

  • Raidz

    Come on, shower me with free stuff! 😀

  • Morne.Frans

    YOU MESSERSCHIMDT EVERYTHING UP.

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    Eichmann, running out of ideas.

  • Raidz

    How many people other than me will win? Nein!

  • Morne.Frans

    What does a German turkey sound like? Goebles Goebles Goebles.

  • Kagutsuchi

    I gas, some people may find this offensive, but what the hell. What’s the worst part of the Holocaust for Jewish people? The caust.

  • Viking Of Science

    B.J, du Hurensohn! *hohe fünf*

    [Translation: B.J, you son of a bitch! *high five*

  • Raidz

    You people’s puns are the wurst

  • Viking Of Science

    I find all zees hollocaust jokes Offenzive! Mein GrandFather Died in a kampff.

    Ja, he fell off ze watchtower!

    • Skyblue

      That is so wrong but I admit to laughing.

      • Kensei Seraph

        You’re not the only one.
        At least there will be some familiar names in hell.

  • Raidz

    Hitler me baby one more time with a free stuffs!

  • Cat

    Ze problem wiff ze Deutsche language iz dat itz so schön (beautiful):

  • Sk3tz0

    I really Nazi the whole fuss about this Preisausschreiben

  • Sk3tz0

    1) Go to Google Translate
    2) Set the translator to translate German to German
    3) Copy + paste the following into the translate box: pv zk pv pv zk pv zk kz zk pv pv pv zk pv zk zk pzk pzk pvzkpkzvpvzk kkkkkk bsch
    4) Click “listen”

  • Cat

    Wiener Schnitzel. Mine is larger than yours!

  • CAE9872

    Anne Frankly ALL these comments are just so bayer(n) bad…

  • Cat

    Zis iz how you haz a good time in ze Fatherland

  • Alien Emperor Trevor

    I’m not sure if this game is a good fit for PC because ve only vant to hear vun click.

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    Hallo das is Nazi Reich Coastgaurd, what are you sinking about?

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    If Geoff would to post a Nazi pun it would get a lot of Reichs.

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    If I make spelling mistake writing a Nazi pun, is it a Gestypo

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    Please pick all Nazi uniforms in Sieg most Reich aisle.

  • aj_nator

    If I don’t win I’ll probably feel the Wurst

  • aj_nator

    A german asks for two Savannas. The bartender asks, “Dry?”
    The German shouts, “NEIN! I asked for two!”

  • aj_nator

    We’re all going to heil, aren’t we?

  • Marius Nell

    I want zees but are these postcards are they not theez zwas stickers?

  • TehBrad

    What a bunch of deutschbags.

  • Aequitas

    You know vat zey say, war is HEIL

  • Aequitas

    Instead of splitting the bill, let’s go deutch

  • Aequitas

    Have I ubermenchened how much I want this game?

  • Anon A Mouse

    All of these Nazi jokes are out of Mein Kampfort zone.

  • Anon A Mouse

    I can’t see any of these puns go any fuhrer.

  • Anon A Mouse

    I’m going to gestappo now.

  • cookiemonster

    I CAME …I SAW……SCHIEZER

  • Kensei Seraph

    Winning this would be an ausgezeichnet (excellent) way to celebrate my graduation next Freitag (Friday) and to celebrate the return of my Internet (Internet [weird how the Deutsche word for Internet is Internet]).

  • Brendyn Zachary

    Frankly I Warsaw this competition coming but, my Tank of jokes has run dry.

  • Brian Murphy

    I’m going to have a contest when I go to Blizzcon, and it’ll only be for people in Anaheim! *sniff*

  • Ibrahim Chhaya

    I read this on Mein Kampfy chair.

  • sp00ff

    Are Nazi puns written in sieg-heilvetica?

  • Ross Blomkamp

    Hey boet! This fire is swak. Get the “Blitzkrieg” or this is going to be the “wurst” braai ever!

  • Ross Blomkamp

    Can’t wait to play this game. Mein eyes are going to Goebbel up every glorious detail.

  • Ross Blomkamp

    This game is made of the reich stuff.

  • Ross Blomkamp

    Maybe Adolf was just having a bad herr day.

  • Ross Blomkamp

    When I get this game it’s gonna be me, my console and mein kampfy chair.

  • Ross Blomkamp

    Might enjoy this game with a nice glass of white schwein.

  • Ross Blomkamp

    This game is like german peanut-butter: a little nutzy but still fascistastic.

  • Ross Blomkamp

    So Klaus, yet so far. I can’t wait to hold this game in my Hans.

  • Dw Steenkamp

    Somewhere a German observing the survival radar at a coastguard station, when suddenly a transmission comes through : “MAYDAY MAYDAY IS ANYONE THERE, WE ARE SINKING?!” Ghello thiz iz zthe German coastgaurd “WE ARE SINKING, WE ARE SINKING !!!” Whatz are you…. zthinking about?

  • loftie

    German nazi puns? I can’t think of any Reich now. :(

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    What was Adolf’s favourite boardgame? Nathzee

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    What do you call a guy that wears ironic glasses, loafers, uses an Iphone, drinks artisan coffee and start WW2? Adolf Hipster.

    He also wrote Mein Kampf before it was cool.

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    LG should rename the article to the Thousand Year thread.

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    Did anybody else notice that Lazygamer started this thread on the 70th aniversary of D-Day. Should think it would make them very unkampftirble

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    I found same of these !C jokes very illogical.

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    I love playing golf with Adlof Hilter, he keeps up landing in the bunker.

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    I see some people ignore the neo-nazi this coming jokes rule.

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    I do not know if I can go on any fuhrer without the jokes start Stalin.

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    I think I’m going to stop now before the Messerschmitt hits the fan and Focke wulf my whole day.

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    I see some people here revealed their true colours and came out of the Klauset

  • Ross Blomkamp

    If I don’t get to play this game I’ll kick my own auschwitz.

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    Eichmann this is getting hard. Going to take a break now.

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    Unt somebody call nein nein one Adolf is hitting the dance floor ooho!

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    Wolfenstein: The New Order is Goering to uber the top

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    When playing New Order you have to remember to kraut and strafe, kraut and strafe.

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    I was sinking about becoming ze Nazi but then I took a Panzerfaust in the knee.

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    If I do not win this prize I’ll be stuck playing Meincraft

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    They see ro-o-ollin
    They’re sieg heiling
    Patrolling they tryin to catch me reiching dirty
    Try to catch me reiching dirty
    Try to catch me reiching dirty
    Try to catch me reiching dirty
    Try to catch me reiching dirty

    • HvR – THE Average GAmer

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    My grandma knitted me a jersey from jawohl

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    Again running out of puns, think I’ll try Goeble

  • Zoidster The 3rd

    Well I tried….. and for some reason I have a lot of these….

  • Zoidster The 3rd

    ..

  • Goth_Nerd

    I just saw a Nazi drive past me at 200 km/h.
    Probably going Back to the Führer.

  • Goth_Nerd

    Whats the difference between Adolf Hitler and Lance Armstrong?
    At least Lance Armstrong can finish a race.

  • Goth_Nerd

    Christians always go on about the time Jesus fed five thousand people with five loaves and two fishes.
    What about Hitler? He made six million Jews toast.

  • Goth_Nerd

    My friend said to me: ‘If you could go back in time and shoot Hitler as a baby, would you?’
    I replied: ‘No, Because as a baby, I probably wasn’t strong enough to carry a gun

  • Goth_Nerd

    Q: What do you call a pissed off German?
    A: Sauerkraut.

  • Goth_Nerd

    Q: Why do they bury Germans 20 meters underground?
    A: Because deep down they are really nice.

  • Goth_Nerd

    Q: Why don’t Jewish cannibals like eating Germans?
    A: They give them gas.

  • Goth_Nerd

    I feel so racist :(

    • HvR – THE Average GAmer

      That will be reichsist

      • Goth_Nerd

        Touche

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    Hans if you want to zee the lady’s Bosch you needs to turn off Goeble’s safe search

  • Pheonix182

    I find it difficult to swim unless I wear my armbands.
    Everyone seems to get out of my way when they see the swastikas.

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    My run of Nazi puns is going on Luger than I expected

  • Alien Emperor Trevor

    If you correct a German’s spelling are you a Grammar Tommy?

  • http://tumblr.exhibeo.com/ Axon1988

    I might be Putsching my luck here but I think Hitler would be Führerious with us for not giving me Vulfenstein game!

    • http://tumblr.exhibeo.com/ Axon1988

      What do you call a Nazi Pokemon?

      Kickajew.

      • http://tumblr.exhibeo.com/ Axon1988

        What do you call a Nazi watch?

        A Swatchtika.

        Okay enough, I quit. :) Back to work.

  • Morne.Frans

    For butter or bratwurst I will do my best to win this prize.

  • Morne.Frans

    You Luftwaffe me up, so I can stand on mountains;
    You Luftwaffe me up, to walk over Sturmabteilung;
    I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
    You Luftwaffe me up… To more than I can be in mein kampf #singing.

  • Morne.Frans

    The fuhrer your circle of friends the fuhrer troubles you will have.. DA DISH..

  • Rian Mostert

    Why don’t Jewish men go down on woman? It’s too close to the gas chamber!

  • Greylingad

    Please excuse the language on this one, but it’s funny non the less…
    During a flight to Germany, Old Jan van der merwe is onboard the flight deck and the Pilot announces: “Ladies and gentlemen, we have a very special guest on board today, who will tell us one of his stories from world war 2 as a fighter pilot, please welcome, Jan van der Merwe” to which the crowd on the plane cheers…

    Jan: “Thank you very much for this opportunity, so I was flying over Germany, when this Fokker pulled up behind me” – at which point the pilot interrupts –

    Pilot: “Ladies and gentlemen, the Fokker was a Dutch aircraft named after the founder of the company Anthony Fokker, back to you Jan”

    Jan: “So as I was saying, this Fokker pulled up behind me in his messcherschmidt”

  • Rian Mostert

    If you can’t say “fluggaenkdechioebolsen” you’re gonna have a bad time…

  • Morne.Frans

    The real question now is, is Hitler really an “Eisbeen”?

  • Morne.Frans

    To Eisbein or not to Eisbein, that is the kwestin.

  • Rinceinantici

    Too fast…

  • Viking Of Science

    zat American, BJ, he is Unstoppable, he’s made of the Reich stuff!

  • Morne.Frans

    If Snoop was born in Germany, he would say that its ” FO’ SCHNITZLE”.

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    It heilled four times today

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    Heard about ze latest German video games. BräuForce featuring Bräudolf, Bräuring and Bräumann

  • Morne.Frans

    We are half way there the fuhrer the days get we are getting klause and klause to the exitement. Bwahahahahaha.

  • Raidz

    Heil Frankly I’m impressed with the shizen load of jewvenile comments here

  • Greylingad

    How many times do I ghev to tell you Hans? Ze fueel cep iss on ze reich side, not ze left…keep putting fueel into ze….Bang…wrong side off ze flammenwerfer und ve will ghev an explotsion…

  • Greylingad

    I wonder what Deaths’ heads’ theme song would be? Maybe “I hev a lovely bunch of handgrenate, zere zey are Shtandingck in a row, bigck vahns, small vahns, some as bigck as your headt”
    Or would it be something closer to a Jimi Hendrix Purple Dunst, Schlau Frau or All along the wachturm, or maybe even a composition of the bunch?
    “All along ze wachturm, Himler kept ze view, Vhile all ze Frauen came and vent, Barefoot diener too…You know you are a cut klein herzensbrecher, Schlaueee…..Purple Dunst all in my hirn, lately sings don’t seem ze same, actin’ drollig but I don’t know vhy, ‘scuse me while Ich kussen den himmel”
    Also winning this “justiz” the reich to try and do!

  • Morne.Frans

    NAZISHOO!!! BLESS YOU MEIN, PLEASE WIPE THE STROEDEL FROM YOUR NAZI-STRILS.

  • Morne.Frans

    NAZISHOO!!! BLITZKRIEG YOU MEIN HEIR, PLEASE WIPE THE STROEDEL FROM YOUR NAZI-STRILS

  • Morne.Frans

    NAZISHOO!!! BLITZ YOU MEIN HEIR, PLEASE WIPE THE STROEDEL FROM YOUR NAZI-STRILS

  • Greylingad

    A British couple once adopted a German boy, but no matter what they did the child wouldn’t speak, until one day when they went to Germany and ordered a plate of apple strudel, after eating the apple strudel, the child exclaims: “Ziss is NAzi apple strudel I vas expectingck!” To the parents’ amazement. So when they asked him why he didn’t speak for the last five years, he calmly stated:”Up until now, everysink vas satisfactory.” Ba dam tsss….

  • HvR – THE Average GAmer

    Getting one last one in. If Konami was a German company:
    heil,
    heil
    heil
    heil
    heil
    heil
    heil

  • sp00ff

    So who won?