The gloves are off in the battle to win the next generation of consoles and we’ve already seen a few missteps from the main contenders. Nintendo went early in an attempt to pick up the early adopters but forgot the most important rule of them all. It’s all about gaming, make sure you have games.
Next Sony revealed their hard core gaming machine and tempted everyone with some incredible looking games and ideas. Best of all they’ve finally updated their controller to something gamers want and the only mistake they made, debateable, is that they didn’t show off their goods.
Microsoft quickly jumped onto that little nugget and mocked them mercilessly about their lack of goods. Promising that when it was their turn to take the stage they would blow us away and wouldn’t hold back on showing us what they’ve got.
And did they ever do that, I’ve never seen such a huge package but then Microsoft appeared to forget what it was doing and started rambling on about everything but what we care about. It’s all about the games Microsoft how could you forget that?
The Internet was in uproar and all three consoles have now remembered what the industry is about and have all promised a solid show around E3 next week. But what about that other elephant in the room that no one has had the guts to touch yet?
Porn… it’s long been rumoured that the porn industry decided the early video wars with Betamax being assigned to the history books because Sony refused to allow porn to defile their devices. VHS (and Toshiba) on the other hand were far more open and the rest, as they say, is history.
Now the average gamer is currently 30 years old and evenly split between men and women. According to Maryland Coalition (anti porn) their are over 40 million Americans who regularly view porn. 33% of these being women and a whopping 70% of males between the age of 18-24 visit porn sites in a regular month.
25% of all search engine requests are for pornographic searches so there is obviously a large market out there and yet not a single console allows sexually explicit games on them. It’s not like these games don’t exist either so will one of the big three throw caution to the wind and openly embrace the majority of adults in the world?
Microsoft simply won’t. The Xbox isn’t a large portion of their income and they would never risk sullying their entire brand by being caught with little johnnies pants down. Nintendo on the other hand only make money from gaming but at the same time has worked exceptionally hard in creating a reputation of being the family orientated company in the market.. even if Nintendo did start out with sex hotels.
But what about Sony? Sony currently makes the most of it’s money from its Insurance business, something most people are not aware off so they don’t have to worry about people leaving in protest.
In fact investors are currently urging Sony to sell off the electronics business as, in their words
“Electronics is its Achilles’ heel and, in our view, it is worth zero”
So Sony has the least to lose and the most to gain from dropping their zero tolerance in regards to Adults Only titles. Free minded people the world over, especially in Europe and Asia, wouldn’t think too negatively about Sony allowing porn on the consoles as long as some decent age restriction ability is implemented.
The vast majority of porn is now Internet based and it is quite the crowded market. However there is a gaping hole where the interactive elements of porn should exist. Is Sony big enough to fill it or are we going to continue being treated like children for another full generation?
Well if it doesn’t happen I guess we all have the video game parody films to lend from Darryn?
Last Updated: June 3, 2013
TechniKyle
June 3, 2013 at 13:05
I’d watch Ass Effect…
OVG
June 3, 2013 at 13:14
With a happy ending 🙂
Andre116
June 3, 2013 at 13:15
Pick your own ending. Will just be the colour of the condom that changes.
Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew
June 3, 2013 at 13:26
Oh please let this be comment of the week! Whahahaha! I cried! Well played sir. Well played!
Andre116
June 3, 2013 at 13:30
Hehe. Thanks.
I’d be dissapointed if that film did not have a Krogan in though. Since they have 4 testicles, can you imagine the money shot? Bet it fill fill Tali’s suit to the brim…
Admiral Chief Commander
June 3, 2013 at 13:35
Ag nee sis man, right during lunchtime.
Nooit ou!
Andre116
June 3, 2013 at 13:41
Jammer man. Hope you don’t have mayo on your sandwich.
Admiral Chief Commander
June 3, 2013 at 13:43
Jis ou, some things you can joke about, but damn, that was nasty
Andre116
June 3, 2013 at 13:44
Sorry. I switch of the part of my brain that produces mental pics. I find I’m happier that way.
Anonymous
June 4, 2013 at 02:10
you speaking dutch, dat is zoo cool. Is cool when i go around and see dutch people for random on the net.
Admiral Chief Commander
June 4, 2013 at 08:11
Afrikaans actually, but glad you liked it!
Anonymous
June 4, 2013 at 22:41
it sounds kinda similar to dutch, so cool
Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew
June 3, 2013 at 13:37
Duuuude. Images man. Ek het n prentjie brein. Hai nee man!
Lardus
June 3, 2013 at 14:02
You sir, win the money shot for this awesome comment! You can contact Aralakh Company who will gladly distribute the prize!
Admiral Chief Commander
June 3, 2013 at 13:07
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OVG
June 3, 2013 at 13:07
I know people who only use the Vita for porn. Being a HANDHELD and all 😉
TechniKyle
June 3, 2013 at 13:17
Imagine this was for Xbox, and it had Kinect support…
Guest
June 3, 2013 at 22:11
My kinect creeps me out because I feel like it’s watching me have sex, and judges me when I choke on the bong
Admiral Chief Commander
June 3, 2013 at 13:08
I do NOT want pron in my games!
I do NOT want pron in my games!
I do NOT want pron in my games!
I do NOT want pron in my games!
I do NOT want pron in my games!
Oh, did I mention?
I do NOT want pron in my games!
Sir Twakkus
June 3, 2013 at 13:32
*porn
Admiral Chief Commander
June 3, 2013 at 13:35
Nope, its PRON….
Don’t make me hammer you!
Andre116
June 3, 2013 at 13:40
And start the sleezy background guitar music. Ok, you can go ahead and “hammer” him now.
Admiral Chief Commander
June 3, 2013 at 13:43
Nee hell dude
hennydeN4gtard
June 4, 2013 at 14:20
Jij wilt gewoon lekker fappen achter je monitor ipv je grote TV?
Admiral Chief Commander
June 4, 2013 at 14:28
Ek vermoed jy rook jou sokkies ou maat
Andre116
June 3, 2013 at 13:11
“…hugh package…”
“…gaping hole…”
You really went to town in this article.
That Tall Twit
June 3, 2013 at 14:44
As well as “Is Sony big enough to fill it”
Gavin Mannion
June 3, 2013 at 14:47
you know how hard it was to sneak all those in?
Andre116
June 3, 2013 at 14:50
Hahaha…you’re on a roll now. I’m sure it wasn’t that difficult to slip it in.
Alex Hicks
June 3, 2013 at 13:20
I tend to keep my opinion to myself when it comes to grammar nazism – but “Well if it doesn’t happen I guess we all have the video game parody films to lend from Darryn?”
Borrow FROM, lend TO.
As for interactive porn – is there another kind?
Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew
June 3, 2013 at 13:25
Wow Gavin. You didn’t hold back on any of the innuendo there did ya 😛
Rinceandspit...
June 3, 2013 at 13:26
My gods, I can never look at my ME2 box again. You have defiled brilliance Gavin!
Trevor Davies
June 3, 2013 at 14:04
Sheppard needs a proper pornstache though
brad coetzee
June 3, 2013 at 13:38
Im actually all for this. I always wished I could control Nico in the lap dance sequence or prostitute hiring of GTAIV, but it would have to have a great age restriction system of some kind. Like it would only allow adult content if the kinect(for instance) saw no kids in the room. Maybe a bit far fetched but kids can obtain codes and cheat the system these days. Could also be a fail for midge…..I mean really short adults though.
TiMsTeR1033
June 3, 2013 at 13:42
porn in games….. eish thats got bad 18 rated mini games all over it, sadly with kinect they could be watching to make sure you do it right. “Duke Nukem forever… again” achievement put dukes cock in strippers mouth in less than 2 min……….. I rest my case
Trevor Davies
June 3, 2013 at 13:50
I don’t have a problem with it as long as they have decent age control mechanisms for purchase and use. Which is not to say a kid won’t ever get their sticky little hands on one because nothing like that is perfect, but arguing that because a kid may access it is not a good reason for saying nobody can have it, especially if there is a market for something like that among adults.
I prefer that when something is legal that there is choice. If you believe something is unpleasant/immoral/whatever you have every right to refuse it, you don’t have the right however to insist that another person can’t because of your disapproval.
Argentil
June 3, 2013 at 13:58
Two things:
1.Do you really think people walking into a normal games store like BTGames wouldn’t be mocked for picking up a porno title?
2. Sony’s Playstation division is it’s only profitable department in the electronics division. When they were quoted as saying the above, it was followed up with: “In our view, it needs to exit most electronics markets.” – Most being not the Playstation brand. Your point is somewhat void, considering they are at risk as much as MS and Nintendo if they damage their only profitable brand name with any credit. The Playstation name has a lot of selling power. Further in the article:”As proof of the untenable future facing Sony’s electronics, critics point to its televisions and smartphones. ”
Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/28/business/global/sonys-bread-and-butter-its-not-electronics.html?pagewanted=all
Gavin Mannion
June 3, 2013 at 14:18
1. They could sell them at sex shops
2. True the PlayStation brand is profitable but to Sony as a whole it’s not enough.
HvR
June 3, 2013 at 14:20
Just imagine all the interactive peripherals they can sell, hell the move controller is more than half way there.
Argentil
June 3, 2013 at 14:29
1. The budget for games is a lot larger than porn movies, they would need exposure in mainstream vendors to make up the cost of making a game. Unless they were all indie-level games. The concept doesn’t work. Besides, Japan is halfway there with the fanservice they muster up in their games. Senran Kagura (NSFW): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ppifPRwsU0
2. The Playstation brand is important to Sony, and to Kaz – it got him where he is today after all. Why on earth would they risk their biggest brand name for some niche porn appeal? – Because, let’s be practical, point 1 would make it quite niche.
Gavin Mannion
June 3, 2013 at 14:37
I think the numbers of porn watchers out there makes it more than niche. Digital download is the future which could be a decent income stream.
Playstation may mean a ton to Kaz personally but when it comes to the accountants the almighty dollar speaks the loudest
Umar Kiiroi Senk?
June 3, 2013 at 13:59
Fisting of the North Star
God of Whore: Ass-cension
The Last Of Ass
Tomb Raid-her Underworld
Breast of fire
Sky-rim-job
Andre116
June 3, 2013 at 14:02
Haha. Brilliant.
Whorederlands
Biocock
And for the fetishist….Call of Doody.
Umar Kiiroi Senk?
June 3, 2013 at 14:03
Lol…I was gonna add Doody, thought it might just cross the boundary lol but hey apparently not 🙂
Trevor Davies
June 3, 2013 at 14:04
I’ll never look at a Big Daddy the same way again 🙁
HvR
June 3, 2013 at 14:19
World of Whorecraft (to put a whole new spin on Massively Multiplayer Online Role-playing)
The Horny Dead
XCUM: Unknown Loving
Gavin Mannion
June 3, 2013 at 14:20
you mean this?
HvR
June 3, 2013 at 14:21
I’m to scared to click on that link.
Gavin Mannion
June 3, 2013 at 14:21
it’s SFWish…
HvR
June 3, 2013 at 14:25
So was the Mrs Man ION header, still get the nightmares though.
Lardus
June 3, 2013 at 15:14
Heh – rogues do it from behind. Guess who has this one
Purple_Dragon
June 3, 2013 at 14:28
Header images from Gav’s personal collection?
HvR
June 3, 2013 at 14:31
In that 2nd image, is that cry of pleasure or did she see herself in the mirror.
Purple_Dragon
June 3, 2013 at 14:34
She sat on something big!
KingKappie
June 3, 2013 at 14:47
all i know is SEX sells, there will always be a horny fan
joe
June 3, 2013 at 16:55
lol Ass effect
Jammer777
June 3, 2013 at 17:03
Porn would likely work with gamers as so many are wankers in any case.
How about a game where you have to go to a bar, club or event, talk to a girl, get her phone number and then date her for a month or two… and only THEN get to have sex with her? Thereafter you need to cultivate the relationship else you can’t continue to have sex.
Surely THIS would be advantageous to the plethora of stay at home gamers that prefer a WoW raid on a Saturday night to actually meeting people? All Porn does is find a substitute that pushes guys even further away from meeting real woman.
Natty Dave
June 3, 2013 at 22:09
I don’t believe porn was the correct word they should have used, more or less, but for the older adult crowd, to play games with adult themes, this runs right on down the same path of rather or not mortal kombat’s blood was to much realistic violence for kids, well, I don’t think characters telling each other to fuck off in red dead redemption are very kid friendly, would it have really broken the game if one of a womens tops got ripped half off by one of the men who attack them, its an attempted sexual assault, the reality is it limits immersion because everyone is scared of being honest about reality and we all play games in a childrens bubble where all our “no-nos” always stay covered up, just like in the real world. Kids don’t have 5-700 bucks to buy a game system, their parents do, that’s the reality of the gaming world we live in now, its not a $200 christmas gift for little jimmy any more, it’s an adult toy we buy with our income taxes and keep on the top of the entertainment center so the kids don’t fuck it up.
ms wants to used live actors with the xbone, I say replace Cortana with Bailey Jay. trap cannon.
dumpmanagers.manager
June 4, 2013 at 03:25
There has already been a service on WiiU for a long time. Check out Sugar DVD’s WiiU App.
hennydeN4gtard
June 4, 2013 at 14:20
Yeah inded and it’s coming to 360 and XBO in HD too.
lt.dan
June 4, 2013 at 03:44
They picked the best 3 pictures possible lol.
hennydeN4gtard
June 4, 2013 at 14:19
Sony couldn’t get pr0n to lead them to victory for BETAMAX when they had money. Now they’re poor paupers and WTF are you thinking? Hahaha, LOL!
YoYo!
June 4, 2013 at 16:23
You can already get Japanese porn on your PS3 in Japan, doesn’t anybody outside of Japan know that? lol. So don’t be surprised if Sony uses this service outside of Japan too!