What to wear to E3 if you have breasts 
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Gavin Mannion
June 7, 2013 at 11:15 am

Because... fashionI was going to write an article saying what you should wear to E3, or rAge, if you were male but then I remembered that we can wear whatever we want and no one would care… and then I thought well what about the ladies?

Then I remembered they are also sentient beings and wouldn’t need to be told what to wear at a conference any more than we would… and that’s when I realised how wrong I was.

Forbes… you’ve heard of them before right? Well they’ve posted an article, written by a woman, helpfully telling the ladies heading to E3 what they should wear to a gaming conference.

“Many women prefer to keep a low profile with “non booth babe” wear – like a baggy t-shirt and jeans.  But in an industry trying to attract more female gamers, its worthwhile to spend some time thinking about how what you wear can help you stand out as the savvy gaming industry expert that you are.”

Because the clothes make the women I guess? I’m also guessing this writer doesn’t have a clue about the gaming industry… moving on

“Here are two outfits to inspire your E3 wardrobe – one for a day at the convention center and one for the even more popular after parties.”

Yeah because a lady who wants to be taken seriously in gaming is going to be more interested in the popular after parties.. because that’s way cooler than games right?

“Go ahead and wear your favorite denim with a simple, scoop neck top or your company’s game-themed t-shirt (which I do recommend, because you want to promote your product and yourself), but pair with a streamlined, bright blazer and neon cross body bag, then add super comfy flats. This pair has the added advantage of an eye-catching scalloped edge. Your convention lanyards will act as your statement necklace.”

Oh god shoot me now

How about all the people who bash me for not being open to women only gaming conventions and the need to eject booth babes rather turn your anger onto garbage like this. If your biggest worry about attending E3 is what to wear and which party is going to be the coolest then please do us all a favour and get out of the gaming industry.

I'm cranky, arrogant and ever so amazingly annoying but when you get to know me you will also realise I'm honest and incredibly good at describing myself... now pass me that beer
  • Yobokkie

    Wow, Yolandi has really let herself go.

    • Ultimo_Cleric N7

      HAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!
      Yus, laughed so hard now. Upvote central

    • Rinceyouropinion

      HAHAHAHA! Man!

    • Hammersteyn

      Bwhaha

    • Sir Twakkus

      HAHAHA!

    • http://lazygamer.net/ OVG

      Bwahahahaha

    • TiMsTeR1033

      shame man….. I laughed my ass off read that

    • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

      Hahaha. Dude, Yolanda is going to kick your ass!
      Hehehehehe

      • Yobokkie

        Hehe well based on her picture she’s safe I’d say. She has a much further way to fall than die antwoord’s creature.

    • Yolanda Green

      I saw, I read, I laughed myself half to death! Bravo good sir xD

      • Rinceyouropinion

        I know hey? Wtf kind of polyfiller crap was that article?

      • Yobokkie

        As above… and to clarify… not you, but rather that thing which sings for die antwoord. ;-)

        • Yolanda Green

          haha Yeah, I figured as much :D

    • Goth_Nerd

      hahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahaha

    • Sageville

      Sorry Yolanda, I did rofl.

    • Paul Fouche

      WHAAAHAHAA!! :P

  • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

    ……………………………………………………………………………….

    • Lord Chaos

      ^ This…

  • Ultimo_Cleric N7

    Oh I can already see the “Degrading booth girls wearing no clothing” threads popping up again. Mark my words

  • RitterBruder

    ohh that beard !! its…. stunning ! how do you grow that fungus though !!

  • Rinceyouropinion

    bright blazer and neon cross body bag” WHAT!??!

  • Rinceyouropinion

    What inept human wrote this article Gavin?

    • Hammersteyn

      A Pig

    • http://www.lazygamer.co Gavin Mannion

      You can follow the link and see for yourself.. I’m not dignifying the page with a second viewing

    • Unavengedavo

      Kristina Moore, and she does apologize in the comments and revised the post

  • FoxHoundR

    That chick is what PSfanbois find attractive.

    • Lord Chaos

      Seriously?

    • Hammersteyn

      Well seeing how I spent a couple of years in prison, I might even find you atrractive!

      • FoxHoundR

        See… now I have proof. PSfanbous are criminals and sexual deviants.

        • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

          Yes

          • Hammersteyn

            Bwhahaha

        • Hammersteyn

          You have no idea.

    • Lord Chaos

      Don’t you have a bridge to go guard?

      • Rinceyouropinion

        Troll toll man!

        • Hammersteyn

          E-toll troll

        • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

          e-trolly

      • Guest

        Please stop feeding this troll

        • Rinceyouropinion

          I got shouted at for suggesting we stop heheheh

          • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

            Yes! you should be shouted at for intimidating all of us like a warden!!

          • Rinceyouropinion

            There needs to be ORDER!

          • Lord Chaos

            Nope, only me around here…

          • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

            You just confirmed my suspicions ! ..Order?…New World Order??…..
            I knew it!!!
            #illuminati

          • Rinceyouropinion

            God damn hippies!

          • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

            Can’t really control people from feeding trolls. we all have this anti-troll mechanism inside of us

          • http://lazygamer.net/ OVG

            lol

          • Hammersteyn

            LOL

          • Trevor Davies

            rotfl

        • Lord Chaos

          Not feeding, just giving him some rope.

          • Guest

            Well that rope should be shredded and the bridge demolished, with the troll still under it.

          • FoxHoundR

            You guys are so violent. You need religion.

          • Ultimo_Cleric N7

            I think I love you. Your troll skills are the stuff of legend.

          • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

            Really? I think it’s pretty lame

          • Ultimo_Cleric N7

            Dont give into the troll Umar, be strong. Feeding him only makes it worse. Lets be honest here, there is a VERY GOOD chance he actually doesnt feel this way, he just wants to annoy people.

          • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

            Lol I know, I was hoping he would reply too. It’s hard not to feed but at least you can fight back by trolling

          • Rinceyouropinion

            Be strong, or fear my watering on you hippie! … Wait, what? 0-O

          • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

            …..nothing to see here……moving on

          • Ultimo_Cleric N7

            That escalated quickly.

          • Hammersteyn

            I want to tie him to a chair and make him play AC Marines for a whole week!

          • FoxHoundR

            You wouldn’t… that shit is illegal in some countries. AC Marines… is worse than waterboarding.

          • Rinceyouropinion

            Haha! I like his last comment, religion stopping violence! HAHAHAHAHA!

          • Hammersteyn

            He clearly doesn’t have TV, the new XBOX will sort it out :P

          • Hammersteyn

            Satanism is a religion PRICK!

          • Lord Chaos

            Come to the darkside, we have cookies.

          • Hammersteyn

            Hmmmm cookies.

          • FoxHoundR

            their cookies are dog biscuits.

          • Hammersteyn

            You would know. Prick.

          • Sir Twakkus

            C’mon Hammer, it is not worth stooping too his level.

          • Hammersteyn

            Grrrrrr

          • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

            Stoop to his level, demolish him, then Level up

          • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

            Hehe. Effective use of a skillpoint reset :) CC @hammersteyn:disqus

          • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

            Exactly, you will always come back stronger

          • Rinceyouropinion

            Every time I use the word PRICK I’ll remember your thread man, legend, absolute legend.

          • Lord Chaos

            Made from the souls of fanbois

    • Guest

      seriously dude how fu*#ing childish are you.

    • TiMsTeR1033

      how can you say that about your mother?

    • Jonah Cash

      You just said on another article that you are a gamer not a MS fanboi, but here you go and troll on the PS fanbois!! Hahahaha… Well done dude, you are a special type of guy!!

  • Hammersteyn

    Why don’t everyone wear black to the MS conference. It’s scheduled first and afterwards dress in whatever and enjoy E3.

    • Rinceyouropinion

      damn it, this is a good idea. I think Darryn and Geoff should wear blakc armbands with “DRM” on.

    • Lord Chaos

      Let the Mourning begin.

    • http://lazygamer.net/ OVG

      and bring a hearse. You do not need a coffin as the ONE is already inside its own let alone already nailed ONE hundred nails into the fucking thing.

      • Rinceyouropinion

        There you are! Slow day in my office ;)

  • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

    You should actually buy a whole lamb and wear it’s meat, then you can be like Gagatjie, If you find clothing to be important at E3

  • Theo Steenekamp

    “written by a women” woman *
    Sorry I saw that, got shit grades on an English paper about feminism because I made that mistake like a 100 times.

    • http://www.lazygamer.co Gavin Mannion

      Gah my editor is off… so hard to spot your own mistakes

      • Brady miaau

        Always the way. two step process

        1. Admit you can make mistakes
        2. Fix them.

        in my world, most people get stuck on step 1

    • Brady miaau

      No, no it reads like it was written by women. Really.

  • Yolanda Green

    What in the actual … I really have no problem with fashion tips and articles, but really?
    “Many women prefer to keep a low profile with “non booth babe” wear ” – like booth babes aren’t women?

    I’m sorry, have you ever seen women kick ass with cosplay at events like these?

    Is it wrong to be a booth babe? Is it wrong to dress sexy?

    Is it necessary to dress like a clown? Who’s going to take you seriously dressed like a toddler?

    • Theo Steenekamp

      Well if I don’t have a 3 year old nephew to take to E3… how am I going to attract girls?
      I’m going to pop on my hat with the propeller on it and find some girls.

      • Yolanda Green

        Master plan! Chicks dig hats.

      • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

        Whahahahahahaha.

    • Sageville

      I dunno Yolanda, last time i dressed up like a booth babe at rAge I got alot of weird looks.

      • Yolanda Green

        pics or it didn’t happen!

    • Johnnie Finn

      Wow, you found a way to be offended, didn’t you?

      Misogyny = regarding women in any way.

      So many weak whiny females in the cellar of the internets.

      • Yolanda Green

        What are you talking about? You obviously don’t know me, nor have you read about my views on sexism in the industry. The only thing I was offended by was the bad quality of that article. Judging by your Disqus profile you just love commenting on articles with sexist undertones to put people down. Good job!

        • Rinceyouropinion

          Agreed, I was like, wtf?

  • Trevor Davies

    I’m sorry Forbes, but I believe your fashion advise is so last season. You want to be taken seriously while wearing jeans & a t-shirt? PHU-LEASE! Are you a woman or are you a WHOA MAN OMG WHAT ARE YOU WEARING!

    Strong, confident women should not be afraid of being feminine. Show them you’re a gamer AND a woman! I would suggest pairing a nice pair of denims with some heeled ankle boots, or even a knee length skirt. Top that off with a nice blouse & a matching jacket and you’re good to go. And really, lanyards as accessories? What are you thinking? And NEON? This isn’t the set of Tron darling!

    • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

      lol ….. big time lol

    • TechniKyle

      No, just, no…

  • TechniKyle

    I think I’ll wear heels to rAge in protest…

    • Yolanda Green

      I’m definitely wearing heels to rAge ;)

      • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

        Madness! All that walking in heels? Hai nee man. Eina 0_o

        • Yolanda Green

          Llew, I’ve been wearing heels to rAge for the last 3 years :P

          • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

            Respect!

          • TechniKyle

            When I am fit enough to do the Impie and later the Ironman, I’m going to do them in heels.

          • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

            Lol. Ironman in heels. What an image hahahaha

          • TechniKyle

            What I realised while playing ME2, is that Miranda and Samara runs around everywhere with Shepard, but in heels.

          • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

            lol :)

  • Trebzz

    A few members of Lazygamer have moobs so it can work :P

    • FoxHoundR

      ZING!

    • Trevor Davies

      Someone needs a hug

      • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

        A squishy moob hug!

      • Skyblue

        Aaaah, Bob and his manboobs, awesome film

  • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

    What the duck!? Hahahaha. Journalizm hehehe. Well trolled Forbes. Well trolled.

  • Slade Boender

    what the actual fuck.

    • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

      Pretty much sums up every comment :)

    • Rinceyouropinion

      There you are, you’ve been rather quite this Friday!

      • Slade Boender

        ya not much going on, waiting for all the E3 goodness to hit my face :)

  • http://lazygamer.net/ OVG
  • Admiral Chief Commander

    Man, I’m missing so much news today… :(