Video games will turn you homosexual

Okay try stay with me here because I’m getting a little bit confused as well. There is a popular American blog called Modern Woman Digest which posted up an article entitled “How video games are turning your children into homosexuals”.

Now before we go into that nonsense I need to point out that this article was posted by a female writer who goes by the name Adora Bull, I truly hope that’s a pseudonym, and Ms Adora lives with her hetrosexual life partner Janet. Yes this lady who is so terrified of homosexuality that she sees it in video games lives with a same-gender life partner… lady it’s time to come out of the closet. Janet most probably needs some loving.

Anyway back to her laughable point which I found to be quite interesting as she is complaining about the same industry that is so often characterised as sexist and that only objectifies women.

Some key points on why the video game industry will turn your child into a homosexual. 

gays_beach_original“Let’s look at the timeline and facts. Video games, as well as homosexuality, have been around for a while. Video games, as well as homosexuality, was an invention of the early 20th century, although video games, as well as homosexuality, only started to become popular and socially acceptable in the late 1970s. Do you see any coincidences yet?”

I take it this lady hasn’t read her bible, or looked at nature in general  in a while as homosexuality existed a long time before the 20th century

“While slightly off-topic from the subject of video games, allow me also take this time to add in, a large majority of serial killers were also homosexuals.”

Slightly off topic? And total nonsense

“Sports games such as Football and Soccer. Do you really expect me to believe that these games are geared towards teaching our children how to play sports better, how to be healthy competitors, and encouraging them to stay fit? There’s nothing more homosexual than watching a bunch of men in tights running around wrestling with each other for some balls. It’s even worse that these children are forced to play the game with a viewing perspective of their character’s buttocks the whole time. I find it incredibly hard to believe that the developers of these games did not know what they were doing when they made their characters overly muscular while wearing tight little shorts like seen in the attached photos. Not only does it encourage homosexuality, but it also encourages cross-dressing.

lesbiandrawingI stayed with her while she went on about watching the men in tight shorts and looking at buttocks as I know quite a fair number of ladies who watch Rugby for that exact reason, But for the love of all things holy how does American Football encourage cross dressing?

“This may seem harmless (online play), and good for their social skills, but it is actually quite dangerous. Most people who gravitate towards these games (MMO’s) are sexual predators, many of them being pedophiles (sic) specifically. These dirty men will make girly looking characters and attempt to engage in lewd activities with whomever they can, something that has come to be known in the online community as “cyber sexing.””

So if you play MMO’s you are likely to be at best a sexual predator and at worst a paedophile, that’s a lot of sexual predators in this world with World of Warcraft last reporting a 7.6 million-strong player base.

This wonderful lady with the lightest of grips on reality then finishes off with:

“My advice to you is, keep your children away from video games at all cost. It is a clear tool for the Homosexual agenda, in which to recruit new members to their “team.” They think they’re clever and not being noticed, going after the young and impressionable, before they’ve really had a chance to realize what sexuality is, and to brainwash them into believing that they’re gay and it’s okay. It’s time to take a stand, parents. It’s time to tell the Gay Agenda, NO! You cannot have my child.”

lesbiansMy advice to Ms Bull is to stop writing about things that you have absolutely no understanding of. Also seriously you need to go and have a real chat with Janet as I’m sure she could offer you some options to free yourself from the binds that you have strapped yourself down with.

And yes I did write this article so I could post pictures of (probably fake) lesbians, but to be fair we have hot guys who are also likely not to be gay in the post so we are pandering to our entire audience.

We got suckered; It seems this came from one f those parody sites. on the internet. Our bad. 

Tags: , , ,

Author:Gavin Mannion

I'm cranky, arrogant and ever so amazingly annoying but when you get to know me you will also realise I'm honest and incredibly good at describing myself... now pass me that beer

  • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

    What the actual duck is she on about?

    I’m not even going to rant as said rant would be so overly obvious it would make Captain Obvious cringe.

    Seriously lady, being afraid of something like homosexuality is common but spewing crap like you did just to try and validate that fear is stupid and embarrassing for yourself.

    I’m a gamer. I am married to a woman. I don’t see the connection to homosexuality. Sorry lady. Go crawl back in to whatever primordial pool you crawled out of.

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      I think reading her article actually cost me brain cells. They just didn’t want to live any more.

      • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

        Yeah I actually felt mine offing themselves

        • Ultimo_Cleric N7

          Must be a troll.
          As soon as she mentioned football and other ballsports being gay to watch, I stopped believing this was real.
          I can understand her view that Homosexuality is a product of the 20th century. Why? Becuase she is from ‘Murica and we all know how “clever” some of those people can be…….

          • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

            Maybe.. Just maybe she’s being sarcastic? Perhaps it’s her jab at the whole thing where the media makes games out to be evil and by her doing what she’s doing she’s creating a kind of juxtaposition?

            Maybe? being too hopeful here?

      • RyseandRepeat

        I was down to 5% brainpower at the second paragraph. She is batshit mental man.

  • Hammersteyn

    So that’s why I can’t find a girlfriend. How many guys here are single? I’m going to be fabulous from now on.

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      So maybe LG IS a dating site after all!

      • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

        Oh boy. My wife is gonna be so pissed when she finds out then I guess huh?

        • Eric

          My gf and I are both gamers… so does that make us both homo for each other?

          • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

            I see a 4 way in your future

          • Eric

            We were invited to a 4 way before. The people looked at us funny when we pitched with our PC’s and LAN cables. (not really… but if it happened, we probably would).

    • Shift-Tab John (JJ)

      Rince can teach you. He’s been googling black lipstick all morning.

      • Hammersteyn

        Bwahaha, you better run so long!

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        Emo Rince isn’t exactly my cup of rooibos.

      • Weanerdog

        You guys should see how John dresses, very stylish.

        • Shift-Tab John (JJ)

          Why thank you Weanerdog.

          • RyseandRepeat

            Surely he was talking about the other John? Tehehe ;)

          • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

            BOOM!

          • Vampyric Squirrel of the Sith

            Yeah Rocky looks swag in GTAV… lol

          • Shift-Tab John (JJ)

            Swag originates from Secretly We Are Gay, from the 80′s, I think. So, your comment is rather spot on.

          • Vampyric Squirrel of the Sith

            LOL!

          • RyseandRepeat

            LOL

        • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

          Even your name proves what the lady is saying. Weanerdog? Yeah clearly her article is true man #trollol

          • Weanerdog

            We are all learning about ourselves today it seems.

  • Stephen Ynwa Blythe

    That has to be one of the funniest things I’ve read in a while lol

  • Alien Emperor Trevor

    Well that explains why I’m #foreverSP. I’ve been lusting after the ladies when I should have been boning the bros. All that time wasted.

  • Willem Van Wyk

    Wait guys! I think she has a point! Think about it, how many times have you been called “gay” playing online?

    • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

      Woah. Dude… That’s uncanny…. It must be true then!

    • Hammersteyn

      Calling someone gay is a mating call then?

      • Willem Van Wyk

        Exactly! It is like: “Gay fag, wanna uck?” (am I allowed to swear?)

    • Shift-Tab John (JJ)

      O_O
      Does that mean my momma is a whore also?

      • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

        and fat. Don’t forget fat

      • Willem Van Wyk

        She also isn’t your mother and fucking a lot of 13 year olds

  • Umar Seeker of Truth

    This does not even deserve a retort…man, I guess I should be gay now because I sure do love Final Fantasy and half of the male characters dress in widly outrageous clothing. My wife is gonna be disappointed……

  • Ultimo_Cleric N7

    This lady is so sexually frustrated its almost sad. Wow.

  • Umar Seeker of Truth

    I like playing Gears of war…oh no!…Having been lying to myself all this time

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      That depends, were you checking out Marcus’ arse while playing in 3rd person view?

      • Umar Seeker of Truth

        Mostly his neck…does tht make me gay?…oh dear

  • Hammersteyn

    This guy played way to much games then…
    http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/aNePNL4_460sa.gif

  • Spathi

    I think you’ve been duped LG. The whole site looks more like a parody site (going by the other articles). That or they really are batshit crazy.

  • RyseandRepeat

    Holy crap man! This women is crazier than a bag full of pink unicorns! Homoecuality has only been around since the 70s? What do you think the Greeks were getting up to 2500 years ago you lunatic?

    • Shift-Tab John (JJ)

      Hello Rince

      • RyseandRepeat

        Hello?

        • Shift-Tab John (JJ)

          Nice day we’re having

          • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

            *psssst* Talking about the weather is not the way to attract someone. Ask them about things they enjoy. Try gaming. I think that’s a good topic that will end up in fruitful conversation

          • Admiral Chief of Souls
          • Shift-Tab John (JJ)

            Heheheh

          • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

            WHAHAHAHAHA. Winna!

          • ToshZA

            Nailed it.

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      Actually I think “Homoecuality” was invented in the last couple of minutes.

      • Shift-Tab John (JJ)

        Still trying to figure out what that is myself.

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          Maybe it has something to do with the pink unicorns?

          • Shift-Tab John (JJ)

            But ecuality? Maybe something about equal rights to pink unicorns?

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            That sounds like some weird combination of equine & sexuality. I think we should just leave this alone & back away slowly.

          • Shift-Tab John (JJ)

            That’s what HE said!

          • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

            Equal rights to homosexual pink unicorns!

          • Shift-Tab John (JJ)

            Sounds about right
            Poor straight pink unicorns though, they really just can’t catch a break

      • RyseandRepeat

        LOL

      • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

        Well played hahahahahaha

  • Just Saying

    .. after playing 2 hours of COD with men that know how to handle their guns, I really feel like renting “Broke Back Mountain” and inviting them over for some “pop corn”

    • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

      Laughing too hard at this

  • Azure

    This explains alot… I need to go suck a penis now after playing Half Life…

    • Kensei Seraph

      Half Life 3 confirmed to be coming out by 2016 thanks to the efforts of Azure.

      Thanks for taking one for the entire world.

  • Ultimo_Cleric N7

    Just read the article and saw she is a “Christian”. Ah yes, some of my wonderful conterparts in America who ignore facts and spread hate, yet call themselves followers of Jesus. Yes, violence in games and blasphemy could be a debate….but this?
    To anyone reading this, please accept my apologies for this lady. I also think she’s crazy. And a little embarrassing.

    • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

      Hear hear. Couldn’t agree with you more

    • Jack

      Lol the Christians over there are,shocking good to know south Africa’s Christians alot better :)

      • Ultimo_Cleric N7

        Not all of them, there are a few crazies here too. But there are some really awesome guys in the US too.
        Basically, you can never judge an entire group of people on a few nutjobs ^^

    • Shift-Tab John (JJ)

      Every religion out there has some maniacs that want to justify violence in some or other way.

      • Ultimo_Cleric N7

        Pretty much. So sad.

  • ToshZA

    For everyone who doesn’t finish reading an article before posting, the article above ends with “We got suckered; It seems this came from one f those parody sites. on the internet. Our bad.”

    There’s an omission there, Gav. Spot the omission.

    So, much like a lot of these parodies of religious beliefs, this shit is super funny. Beware the gays and their regime. They’re taking over the world. Bwahahaha!

    • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

      *DOH* That wasn’t there when I first read it.

      Oh Lagz. Thanx for making us all explode for no reason *no pun intended. If you know what I mean*

      • ToshZA

        Yeah that’d make sense, just as LG was duped, so were you. :( And that’s really gross dude. Bleurgh.

        Still, I could spend hours reading parody articles. So super funny. :D

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        I know right? I got dressed up in my Liberace outfit for nothing.

    • Ultimo_Cleric N7

      KNEW IT!

  • Gareth L

    Those two guys are hot!

    • ToshZA

      Actually, if they’re in the Atlantic, they’re actually quite cool.

  • ToshZA

    Had to post this here, because maturity. hehehehe.

  • Devourer of Small Bunnies

    “We got suckered; It seems this came from one f those parody sites. on the internet. Our bad. ” #mastertroll

    • Sageville

      My word, building such rage in your audience and then ‘Pop!’ deflate them, one shot.

      Not lekker to troll your own peeps LG!

      mxm!

      • Devourer of Small Bunnies

        Right in the feels man.

  • HvR

    Only console encourage children to become homosexual, always playing little sticks and knobs.

    Where as PC encourage you to play with a mouse.
    #PCgaming=NoHomo

    • Unavengedavo(aka. MadeYouLook)

      What about the joystick?

    • SaintsRowNigri

      No, seeing as you are playing with a MOUSE, PC gamers are obviously being conditioned for bestiality…

  • Unavengedavo(aka. MadeYouLook)

    Pff, homosexuality has been around since forever… Even the Spartans use to practice Homosexuality to form bonds with one another…

  • Lardus-Resident Perve

    Well, thanks to the artful pictures of the ladies, my concentration at the office is ruined for today.

    • Shift-Tab John (JJ)

      Wait until you see what they have in store for ION. Keeping with the theme.

  • Rags
  • Mark White

    I don’t know how gaming on tablets like http://deal-mall.co.uk/zoostorm-q6010/ or PC can do that…

  • FoxOneZA

    Now I have more reason to stay of the COD. I mean, who wants nuked brain cells like this chick?

  • Kromas

    I pretty much got half way before I filed this article in my mind under “Stupid People doing stupid things”. Now I really wanna go play Mass Effect as Male Shepard and date that sexy Latino flight officer Cortez!

  • Skyblue

    I have been playing games for over 30yrs… everything makes so much sense now…

  • loftie

    “Let’s look at the timeline and facts. Video games, as well as
    homosexuality, have been around for a while. Video games, as well as
    homosexuality, was an invention of the early 20th century, although
    video games, as well as homosexuality, only started to become popular
    and socially acceptable in the late 1970s. Do you see any coincidences
    yet?”

    Well, who can argue with “logic” like that? fkin LOL hahahaha, Dunning Kruger Effect.

  • ElNicko

    Oh Satire…….

  • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

    This reeks of the Onion! Although it has big words in it. So probably not. ;)

  • evilsheepclone

    I only read the title and i have suitably made my own assumptions of what the contents consisted of, good read. So what you trying to say is, the PC guys are the master race/number 1, so they better at gaming and will be gay first, thus confirming the rumour and giving me time to stop gaming.

  • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

    Oh you guys and your parody articles from parody sites…. :P

    Meanwhile on Polytaku…. (say what you will about Gies and co or their insipid reviews, but their features and opinion columns are sometimes pretty damn decent) This one is pretty good. Thought-provoking even.

    http://www.polygon.com/features/2013/12/2/5143856/no-girls-allowed

    http://i.imgur.com/ivMfIj4.gif

    • That Tall Twit

      Oh gosh…

      • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

        Completely off-topic, here’s a guy on twitch trying to break a world record for playing games continuously for 140 hours….

        http://www.twitch.tv/rlenk

        :( I hope he doesn’t manage to kill himself in the process.(he’s done 50 hours so far)

        • That Tall Twit

          Wasn’t there a guy who recently tried the same thing but DID die?

          • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

            Yeah, he apparently developed a blood clot in the leg, which led to a heart attack. Freaky way to go, when you’ve barely even made it to 30.

  • Carl Grimes

    Christians… lol

  • bartleby451

    Holy god, is this why i’ve been sucking cocks lately? I new something was different but now I know. All those years sleeping with women and now I can’t get enough cock! Nintendo!!!

  • bartleby451

    My body is ready Reggie xxx

  • Banie Joubert

    Thanks for sharing story Gavin. And thanks everybody for your comments. Can’t remember when last I laughed so much.

  • Fin89

    Rofl ! :D
    Hey I’m gay but I only been playing zombies and mario
    and nothing can turn you gay or straight unless you were faking in the first place lolzz

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