Home Gaming This is the desk of a video game journalist

This is the desk of a video game journalist

3 min read
75

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I’m kind of fortunate. Despite the fact that I’m going grey well before my time and my day usually starts with Geoff having sold another one of my organs, I get to work from home. Despite the temptation to stop wearing pants and work whenever I want to. I still get up at 6AM every morning on the dot and start immediately on content for the day. And this is my bullpen.

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This is where all the magic happens. One room, one desk and yes that’s a proton pack. It’s not a toy dammit! It’s an unlicensed nuclear reactor. Some folks call their specific work environments. A term which makes me twitch so hard, it gets picked up on the Richter scale. Also pictured, Squeaky the cat, who is once again plotting to attack the dogs next door. That’s not a joke by the way.

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Above the desk, is a super sexy showcase of sleek consoles. Sony, Microsoft, Nintendo and even Sega are all represented right here. Sometimes, I like to pretend that the Megadrive still works, and sit in front of my screen making pew pew noises and imagining that I’m playing Urban Strike at that moment.

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Desk contents, right hand side. A Dalek mug which will ex-tea-minate your taste buds, Ray-Ban sunglasses, superglue for dickish purposes such as gluing Skylander figures to Disney Infinity bases and a pair of action figures.

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This just arrived from the delightful chaps at Times Media Films. It’s a bunch of biscuits, that are being used to promote upcoming feel-good food dramedy The Hundred Foot Journey. I’m also hoping that these aren’t poisoned biscuits, after I slammed Transformers 4 for being a loud, useless movie with no redeeming features whatsoever.

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HULK WANT COOKIES.

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This is where all your dreams come true. On this device, stories are written, tweets are posted and horrible pornography is viewed. It boasts that superior Sony technology of great hardware and genius design, such as glueing a piece of rubber over the PC components that generate the most heat. Genius.

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I like to keep my desktop organized, with all my essential Lazygamer files and folders being kept neat and tidy.

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More stuff. I wasn’t lying when I said that I was keeping my E3 Geralt statue in a place where I could admire it everyday. Next to Geralt, is the symbol of the greatest band of all time, some more Batman gear and a mask that I use when Jehova’s witnesses knock on my front door.

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Also, Kinetic Sand! Some days, my brain just refuses to work, which is why I keep a tub of the stuff around. It has freaky properties, but spending a few minutes playing with the stuff always gets my juices flowing. My brain juices that is. Not those other juices.

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NO REFUNDS!

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What’s inside the drawers? Most of the time, spare games and controllers. As well as Batman gauntlets and gloves. Because you never know when they’ll come in handy. And there you have it! That’s just a small look at the environment that creates Lazygamer content every day. Thank the gods that I’m not showing you guys what’s behind that desk, because that might leave y’all scarred.

Last Updated: August 25, 2014

75 Comments

  1. And keeping the proton pack quite close in case of ghost attack is a great idea. Also your desk is too clean it almost feels like you cleaned it and was so impressed you had to take pictures and make an article, 😛

    Reply

  2. Kikmi

    August 25, 2014 at 12:36

    Proton pack for good measure

    Reply

  3. Matewis Jubilai

    August 25, 2014 at 12:37

    There are entirely too many cats on the internet

    Reply

    • UltimateNinjaPandaDudeGuy

      August 25, 2014 at 12:38

      AMEN! Preach it brother!

      Reply

  4. Kikmi

    August 25, 2014 at 12:37

    Stupid question, but is that nail polish i see on your desk there? *waggles eyebrows*

    Reply

    • The D

      August 25, 2014 at 12:39

      It’s actually superglue. In case of…accidents.

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief Assassin

        August 25, 2014 at 12:45

        Just don’t mix up with lube…

        Reply

      • Kikmi

        August 25, 2014 at 13:14

        Wonder how many “accidents” that specific bottle of “glue” was in

        Reply

  5. Umar Ver 1.OBJECTION

    August 25, 2014 at 12:38

    I have a very important question though…..
    Chun-Li or Cammy?

    Reply

    • The D

      August 25, 2014 at 12:38

      Chun-Li. I have a hockey legs fetish.

      Reply

      • Umar Ver 1.OBJECTION

        August 25, 2014 at 12:41

        I bet that spinning bird kick does massive things to you . Ahooooga

        Reply

  6. UltimateNinjaPandaDudeGuy

    August 25, 2014 at 12:38

    You know I sometimes wonder what my room would look like if I had boxes for all my Steam games o.O

    Reply

  7. Alien Emperor Trevor

    August 25, 2014 at 12:41

    I was all set to be mean & dismissive, but then I saw Geralt & AC/DC next to each other & my heart melted.

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief Assassin

      August 25, 2014 at 12:45

      Agreed

      Reply

    • Rinceable

      August 25, 2014 at 12:45

      You are being too kind today, what’s happened?!

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief Assassin

        August 25, 2014 at 12:46

        The prospect of parenthood?

        Reply

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        August 25, 2014 at 12:47

        This means Darryn is my brother from another mother, I can’t be nasty to him.

        Reply

    • Willem Swanepoel

      August 25, 2014 at 18:34

      trying to match a song from AC/DC that will fit the Witcher 😉 hmmm

      Hells Bells?

      Reply

      • The D

        August 25, 2014 at 19:06

        I think “Guns For Hire” would suit Geralt quite well.

        Reply

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          August 25, 2014 at 19:10

          & You Shook Me All Night Long for the ladies!

          Reply

  8. Matewis Jubilai

    August 25, 2014 at 12:42

    I’m going to go out on a limb and say that you cleaned your desk for the first time in 3 months right before you took this photo? 😀
    That’s not a criticism btw – I would’ve done exactly the same. In fact I don’t think I’ve cleaned my desk since February…

    Reply

    • The D

      August 25, 2014 at 12:42

      lulz, I wish. I’m a messy person, but for some reason, I like having a clean desk..

      Reply

      • Matewis Jubilai

        August 25, 2014 at 12:47

        Yeah me too, only I’m too lazy to clean mine 😛

        Reply

  9. Rinceable

    August 25, 2014 at 12:44

    How do you get the free cookies?! I write for the movies too dammit!

    Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      August 25, 2014 at 13:23

      You have to give them your home address so that if your review is “disappointing” they can pay you a visit to discuss it at 4:00 AM.

      Reply

  10. Rinceable

    August 25, 2014 at 12:46

    Nice one Darryn. Interesting to see what the home of madness looks like.

    Reply

  11. Admiral Chief Assassin

    August 25, 2014 at 12:48

    This article, I really like!

    Who is next, Geoffus? Gavin?

    Reply

    • Exalted Overlord Geoffrey Tim

      August 25, 2014 at 13:19

      I have a very boring desk/office set up. Pc, monitor. No swag. 😛

      Reply

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        August 25, 2014 at 19:09

        You don’t need swag when you’re #SWAG right?

        Reply

    • Gavin Mannion

      August 25, 2014 at 16:05

      My desk is such a bloody mess… but yeah maybe I”ll do one…,

      Reply

  12. WarframedSquirrel

    August 25, 2014 at 12:49

    I still haven’t found the Ray-Bans… Worst Item finding game EVA!

    EDIT: Oh… Found em! The clue was incorrect… should read “Ray-Ban Glasses Case”

    Reply

    • Lord Chaos

      August 25, 2014 at 12:51

      Probably in the Ray-Ban casing.

      Reply

  13. Viking Of Science

    August 25, 2014 at 12:50

    • WarframedSquirrel

      August 25, 2014 at 12:53

      It’s so PINK! KILL IT, QUICKLY!

      Reply

    • Gareth L (That eXCheez Guy)

      August 25, 2014 at 13:18

      The terrible way that they’re made in SA, they’re not macarons.

      Reply

      • Viking Of Science

        August 25, 2014 at 13:40

        not everywhere in SA, there’s a place in Cape Town that makes them amazingly well.
        #NotaHipster

        Reply

    • Matewis Jubilai

      August 25, 2014 at 13:28

      So that’s what that was. I thought it was shrimp

      Reply

  14. Admiral Chief Assassin

    August 25, 2014 at 12:54

    BWHAHAHAHAA DAT COD REVIEW!!!!

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief Assassin

      August 25, 2014 at 12:55

      I don’t know why I’m laughing, since it is so very plausible…

      Reply

      • Lord Chaos

        August 25, 2014 at 12:56

        It’s only Monday and you’re already talking to yourself?

        Reply

        • Rinceable

          August 25, 2014 at 12:57

          Worried is worried 0_O

          Reply

        • Admiral Chief Assassin

          August 25, 2014 at 12:58

          I never stop. What can I say, I enjoy good company!

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief Assassin

            August 25, 2014 at 12:58

            Me too!

          • Lord Chaos

            August 25, 2014 at 12:58

            O_o

            Don’t know if I should poke it with a stick or just move along.

          • Admiral Chief Assassin

            August 25, 2014 at 12:59

            The stick, the stick!!!

          • Admiral Chief Assassin

            August 25, 2014 at 12:59

            MOVE ALONG!

          • Kensei Seraph

            August 25, 2014 at 13:21

            Yeah, it’s the only way to have an intelligent conversation.

  15. Sir Rants A Lot: On Pandora

    August 25, 2014 at 13:01

    This is the best article ever hahahaha. Well done

    Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      August 25, 2014 at 13:20

      I think the PS4 was better.
      That Pizza Station had me sold and I bought a customized model myself a few days later.

      Reply

  16. Admiral Chief Assassin

    August 25, 2014 at 13:10

    *wonders what poster/artwork/creation is next to wall, turned around…

    Reply

    • Sir Rants A Lot: On Pandora

      August 25, 2014 at 13:15

      Yeah, now I’m curious too. It must be a picture Katy Perry

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief Assassin

        August 25, 2014 at 13:20

        Can’t be, else it would have been shipped off already to a certain awesome person

        Reply

  17. Craig Lotter

    August 25, 2014 at 13:41

    Is that a Joe Chiodo image? (Cammy)

    Reply

    • The D

      August 25, 2014 at 15:07

      It’s done by one our local artists, Warren Louw. His stuff is so rad.

      Reply

  18. Milesh Bhana

    August 25, 2014 at 14:04

    you failed to mention that this is in the coolest city in the world.
    (not being sarcastic)

    Reply

  19. Sith JJ

    August 25, 2014 at 14:05

    That Dallas PayDay mask!!

    Reply

  20. Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

    August 25, 2014 at 14:26

    This is a Man Cave worthy of admiration!

    Reply

  21. Norm

    August 25, 2014 at 15:00

    The Marcus model is the BAWS.

    Reply

  22. Graeme Selvan

    August 25, 2014 at 15:19

    LOVE IT!

    Reply

  23. Mark Treloar

    August 25, 2014 at 15:57

    Whats the cats name?

    Reply

  24. DaxterZA

    August 25, 2014 at 16:03

    Someone bought that Kinectic Sand at the Crafts Shop in Walmer Park! And I still have a working Sega Megadrive 2 at home, such a legendary console!

    Reply

    • The D

      August 25, 2014 at 19:05

      You sir, win a No-Prize!

      Reply

  25. Thats_how_I_Troll

    August 25, 2014 at 16:24

    If there’s something strange in your neighborhood…. Never mind its only Darryn and his proton pack

    Reply

  26. Brady miaau

    August 25, 2014 at 16:50

    Time to be cheesy.

    Thanks for giving us a view into your world and how and when you work. Um. Why?

    Reply

    • The D

      August 25, 2014 at 19:05

      Because why not? Vague answers for the win!

      Reply

      • Brady miaau

        August 25, 2014 at 20:46

        Good answer!

        Reply

  27. Ben Dover Kuntz

    August 25, 2014 at 16:50

    it looks to clean, have your mother been there?….

    Reply

  28. guest

    August 25, 2014 at 17:58

    Dat ass doe 😉

    Reply

  29. Axon1988

    August 26, 2014 at 08:09

    I like the payday mask… Also this is your battlestation! Mine is not nearly as sleek.

    Reply

  30. Miguel Ribeiro

    August 26, 2014 at 10:00

    Darryn: “I ain’t afraid of no ghost”

    Reply

    • Miguel Ribeiro

      August 26, 2014 at 10:00

      Thanks Darryn, now I have that song stuck in my head.

      Reply

  31. Charl van der Merwe

    August 26, 2014 at 11:35

    you spelt murder wrong! tsk tsk

    Reply

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