The myth of the gaming couple

On the latest Xbox podcast, I made fun of Xbox guy Graeme Selvan  for imagining that he’d find a woman who wanted to play Diablo with him. Most of my teasing was about the fact that she will have probably have moved on to a different game, and part of it was simply to troll him because it’s just too easy. However, I have been thinking a lot about women who game, and the idea of couples who game together.

When I first met my husband, we bonded over an afternoon spent playing Marvel Ultimate Alliance on the Wii. We both enjoyed playing games across consoles and PC (yes, he has a real PC, not a Mac), as well as reading comics and manga, watching anime and collecting figurines. For many of you, this sounds like the ideal relationship, I’m sure.

Gamer couple 1

However, as he pointed out recently, we don’t generally engage in “Marital Team, Go!” gaming. With the exception of League of Legends now and then (read: it happened twice), we generally don’t play games together. Sure, I’ll happily be co-pilot while he plays Dark Souls – pulling up maps on the tablet and pointing out dangerous points. However, it’s very rare that we couch co-op.

I suppose part of it comes down to the games that we play. Most RPGs are pure single player experiences, and even on MMORPGs we both prefer loner characters. It can be fun to play MOBA together, but less so than I imagined. I don’t want to feel emotional about not healing him in time, and I certainly can’t play against him. Maybe if we played a shooter or something together it would be more conducive to cooperative play, but then we’d have to share the screen space. We couldn’t handle that in Resident Evil 5.

It’s not to say that women play the wrong games to play co-op with their partners. I play plenty of hardcore games. However, it’s not as if we can play Skyrim or Witcher together, and I wouldn’t like to try and co-op anything split screen again. Even when sharing screens, it always feels like someone is pushing or pulling the screen in a different direction. Gavin says Diablo III is actually really good about that, and yet I know that I’d get irritated if he wanted to go in one direction on the map and I wanted to go in a different one.

Gamer couple 2

Chatting to those people who are also married to gamers, it seems that I am not alone in this. Most people play different types of games, or at different paces. It’s not to say that couples can’t or don’t play games together, it’s just not as you might imagine. I love playing on the 3DS while the hubster jams Monster Hunter. Or he’ll check out maps and quests for me on the tablet while I play on console. Or, we sit in the study together, each playing Steam games and occasionally sending each other lewd messages through chat. Yes, we want to both play games together, but that doesn’t mean we need to play the same game together.

I often hear about guys who wish their partners would get into gaming. How can gamers and non-gamers be together? How about the same way people with any range of hobbies can be together? Also, before you tell me how you wish your wife/girlfriend would play games, how about you see if she isn’t already playing games on her phone or tablet. So you want her to play the same games you play? Then you can experience the same marital bliss of debating who gets time with the TV/console.

Gamer couple 3

I’d love to hear from you all about this. Do you play games with your partner? Do you have a fantasy of finding Mr/Mrs Right with whom you could play games? How do you imagine you’d manage it? Also, feel free to recommend games you think would be more enjoyable to co-op. So far, I’m just looking forward to Super Mario 3D World for some awesome family bonding gaming.

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Author:Zoe Hawkins

Wielding my lasso of truth, I am the combination of nerd passion and grammar nazi. I delve into all things awesome and geek-tastic. I believe people should stop defining themselves and just enjoy playing games, so let's get on with it!

  • RyseandRepeat

    #foreverSP!

    • Hammersteyn

      Me too

      • RyseandRepeat
        • Hammersteyn

          Bwahahaha! That’s awesome!!

          • RyseandRepeat

            Isn’t it?! It’s also pretty freaky!

          • Hammersteyn

            This is my vacation

        • ToshZA

          DUDE. MY EYES. ARGH!!!

          Downvote for you. I has a scar now. It will live in my mind forever.

          For the record, I found the entire movie stupid and disappointing. And this scene just… no.

          • RyseandRepeat

            My work here is done! http://i.imgur.com/umfX414.gif

          • ToshZA

            For that one you get yourself an upvote sir.

          • John’s (JJ’s) finest excuse

            Mine doesn’t even want to show, so it must be bad

    • Rock789

      Apart from GTA Online. :)

      P.S. Was actually able to find and purchase Brutal Legend today! In all its rareness! That’s right… Apparently my sourcing of stuff is amazing (or damn lucky – whichever works)! ;) :)

      • John’s (JJ’s) finest excuse

        It’s on Steam sale for something like 75 bucks

      • RyseandRepeat

        Gimme my game back thief!

        • Rock789

          Finders keepers. ;) :)

          • RyseandRepeat

            Gah! I know where you live! Flip, I don’t!

          • Rock789

            :) I’ll bring it back, don’t worry (It are safe with me).

          • RyseandRepeat

            0-O

      • Vampyric Squirrel of the Sith

        I’ve had it for over 2 years :P

    • JHN

      Yup im in the same boat dude

      • RyseandRepeat

        See ‘comfort’ gif below ;)

  • Alien Emperor Trevor

    All I’d want is that she doesn’t despise my hobby. Otherwise, #foreverSP!

  • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

    I’m ok with my wife not really being interested in gaming. It gives us both separate hobbies that we can enjoy that isn’t part of the whole “Be one with the marriage” thing.

    Don’t get me wrong a successful marriage needs that whole “oneness” but I still believe that even in marriage you need at least one thing that is separate.

    Anyway, that all being said I have 2 friends who actually are both gamers and are married. They jam a lot together. They usually party up in MMO’s and co op shooters and don’t need to fight over screen time as they are PC gamers. So perhaps it’s easier as a PC gamer because unlike consoles you don’t need to share the same TV?

    • Admiral Chief of Souls

      XD, well said, on all accounts

    • Umar Seeker of Truth

      Fully agree!!

    • iAmWeasel

      Agreed.. I have my gaming and my wife has her own interests. Doesn’t bother me in the slightest, nor do I feel like I’m missing out with her not being into gaming. This gaming couple idea is a bit cringe-worthy me thinks.

  • Spathi

    My wife and I co-oped Diablo 3 to Inferno, was excellent fun! Also, Lego games make for great co-op gaming with a spouse. Finished both Little Big Planets and played Borderlands 1 and 2 together. We took turns in Super Mario Galaxy to finish levels.

    We don’t co-op many games, but I enjoy it a lot! The relationship wouldn’t have worked so well if she despised gaming, that’s for sure!

    • John’s (JJ’s) finest excuse

      Haven’t tried the Lego games yet.

      • CodeName Tailgunner

        Lego lord of the rings works like a charm

        Just have patience

        • John’s (JJ’s) finest excuse

          Will have a look on the Steam sale

        • Vampyric Squirrel of the Sith

          I got a bunch of the Lego games… works well with getting the wife to play games

      • HvR

        I would recommend the Lego Pirates of the Caribean. Especially for a first time or casual gamer.

        I found the Lego Hereos/Batman has to many isometric type platform jumps which could be frustrating for a novice gamer.

        Recently purchased Lego Star Wars Saga and so far looks like a winner.

        Surprised how quick my 4 year old caught on, only needs a bit of patience and coaching to point out what he must do at certain points.

        • Vampyric Squirrel of the Sith

          I’ve got Lego Star Wars 3, Batman, Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry Pothead years 1-4… etc… still need to get SW The first saga again… had it for the wii. They’re awesome for playing co-op, especially the newer ones that split the screen

        • John’s (JJ’s) finest excuse

          She’s quite the avid gamer (most RPG games) , but I think the Lego would be best for us together, she’s not very competitive.

  • Admiral Chief of Souls

    I’d imagine the co-op would work like this:

    http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/agygw6W_460sa.gif

    • RyseandRepeat

      How the fuck did he not get hurt? 0-O

      • John’s (JJ’s) finest excuse

        Vodka makes your head an airbag.

        • RyseandRepeat

          I can’t look away!

        • oVg

          lol

      • oVg

        He is Russian.

        • That Tall Twit

          Cause in Soviet Russia…

      • Vampyric Squirrel of the Sith

        He’s really good at playing Duck Duck Goose?

        I wanna know how he lost control of his car like that.

        • HvR

          It looks like a Travant so he probably sneezed.

          • Vampyric Squirrel of the Sith

            What happened?

            “I sneezed and then BOOOM… was awesome!!!”

      • A 2 Brute?

        He was not the only person in the car. And was not the driver :(

    • Vampyric Squirrel of the Sith

      Can’t stop watching this…. lol

  • Nick de Bruyne

    My wife and I are both heavy duty gamers, and we do play together in games be it all of us in a group together playing Halo, or Gears of War or Battlefield etc etc, so it’s a little different. You are right though, in that it rings entirely true that there isn’t this whole “Marital Team, Go!” thing. If anything I actually find it a little awkward at the idea that we would be some sort of bro-mantic chest pounding team.

    At the moment we do play Borderlands 2 together co-op (which is very similar to Diablo mentioned above), but it’s kinda cool because we can have quite a casual time. The same was when a few of us used to play Guild Wars together.

    So while gaming like that is fun, and having your own wife watch your back in Battlefield while you defuse a bomb is really awesome some times, I think that it might actually be unhealthy to play together in stressful team based ‘WE LOST BECAUSE OF YOU’ kind of situations lol.

    As for couch co-op, I want to play more with her, yet we just never do, I can’t explain it. I have games I’m dying to play co-op, but we always do our own thing, I play on my consoles/pc and she plays on hers most of the time.

    So it’s not just a myth, it is the truth, but it really does depend on gaming preferences, time and specifically on what kind of relationship you have (ie, did you and your partner originally bond over destroying someone in a friendly sports outing and both loved rubbing in their faces, lol).

    Will be interesting to hear what other people say.

    • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

      Has that ever happened to you guys? The whole “lost because of you” thing?

      I reckon married couples should NEVER EVER play DOTA together. Ever. I think that may be a bomb waiting to happen lol

      • No Longer SIR Twakkus

        Any relationship will not last when you play competitive DOTA.

        • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

          Tis what I was thinking

        • ToshZA

          Cannot disagree more. I play regularly with a couple, who play together a lot. They’re doing just fine.

          The key is in recognising that its just a game at the end of the day. You play to win, but there’s no use fighting over a game.

          • No Longer SIR Twakkus

            There is always outliers in any statistical model ;) But if they are able to play “the Friendship Killer” without loosing their cool on one-another than that is awesome bro.

          • ToshZA

            fair point.

          • Anon A Mouse

            I will never make it. I scream at my TV when I’m all alone, I can’t phantom how it will be in co-op. I’m extremely results driven and competitive and I frustrate myself when I’m struggling. Although I will never take it out on my fellow player I do think the way I go on will chase away anyone in a 10km radius.

    • Kyratic

      I agree entirely. I also have a gaming wife,

      we played a lot of Warcraft 3 tower defense’s Co-op. we also play Guild Wars 2, occasionally together, but often apart, she wanders around doing her own characters, while I hit the rougher stuff with my friends. We both did several full playthroughs of Dragon Age : Origins.
      It’s great when we find a game we both love, but they arnt that common.

      But we don’t often play the same games at the same time, she loved Rayman Origins, I was playing LoL.

      We can play competitive games like dota together, but she usually gets over people acting like 4 year olds pretty quickly, it has never caused problems between us.

      I think it works to have a girl that understand your gaming addiction. But I think it would be rare to find one that is on the same level as you. One party is always more skilled. She wont replace your other gaming buddies.

  • Nick de Bruyne

    Must be said as well, my brother and his wife used to dust off Diablo 2 like once a year, and both just fall into the black hole and play non stop together until near death. They didn’t do it with any other games, just Diablo

  • John’s (JJ’s) finest excuse

    My girlfriend and I rarely play games together, for the same reasons. Different taste being a big one. If Skyrim had co-op, as you said, things may have been different. Maybe time to try Diablo then.

    • MosselWasAlone

      Then you probably cant wait for Elder Scrolls Online!

      • John’s (JJ’s) finest excuse

        It excites me, is all I shall say for now. :) Though I’m a bit skeptical about Elder Scrolls online, I’m very afraid that it takes away some of the appeal of the Elder Scrolls series to date.

    • That Tall Twit

      I highly recommend Diablo 3 on console.

      • John’s (JJ’s) finest excuse

        It’s looking really good on console. Will get it once I gather enough will to get myself to buy a console game. Maybe I can trade in a few old ones at BT to make it easier.

        • That Tall Twit

          If you enjoy MMO’s, maybe look at Guild Wars 2. I know it is dated but we are still enjoying it. The lack of monthly subscription also is a plus.

          • John’s (JJ’s) finest excuse

            Any game I haven’t played will be new to me. Will check it out.

  • Jonah Cash

    My wife doesn’t even play casual games…. But somehow she always wins at Mortal Kombat, don’t ask me how but she always win… It is the most frustrating thing in my life!!!

    • SaintsRowNigri

      I have the same problem with Dead or Alive. Give my fiance Unreal Tournament and she’s into the walls most of the time. DoA? She hands me my arse in a basket!

    • Vampyric Squirrel of the Sith

      My wife is awesome at any fighter, but she’s a brilliant button masher… pulls off combos and moves that I don’t know exist.

      • Jonah Cash

        Same with mine!! I can’t find half the moves she pulls off on the moves list???!?!!!

        • Vampyric Squirrel of the Sith

          Totally sounds familiar… I refuse to play Tekken, Mortal Kombat, DoA, Soul Calibre or even Naruto against her :P

          • TiMsTeR1033

            COWARD! my wife wiped the floor with me in SF4 lol

          • Vampyric Squirrel of the Sith

            LOL! I just get my friends to play against her and see how she wins with characters I can’t play with

  • http://www.lazygamer.net Gavin Mannion

    We play Candy Crush together… I’m on level 399 and she’s at 435… I will catch her

    • Hammersteyn

      How’s it going with those microtransactions? I got fed up and uninstalled it what with the five lives limit and the facebook requests it keeps asking you to do.

  • string_slinger

    My wife and I game a fair bit together, and regularly. Borderlands 2 was huge fun, and we put in a lot of hours in TF2 – 2-up it’s mostly MVM & pubs. Left 4 Dead 2, Torchlight 2 – if it’s a good co-op experience, it’s good regardless of who you play it with. Civilisation 4 & 5 – we’ve buried days in there together. It’s a long list, was a lot of split-screen PS3 stuff back in the day too (Killzone 2, Borderlands 1, etc). We used to go hunt co-op games

    Gotta be co-op though, competitive stuff not so much. Us boys take it too seriously and then things get tense…:) Tried DOTA 2 – both hated it. Just got Payday 2 on steam sale too, so, yeah – gonna be a great week of co-op conjugals…:)

  • MosselWasAlone

    I always thought Id like it if my girlfriend started jamming games, but then she said that I should install GTA:SA on my pc these holidays so she can show me that she can also play games. At first I was like: Yes! Finally. Then I thought, wait, what if she becomes addicted, what am I gonna do?! Will I ever see my PC again?! The HORROR!

    • Admiral Chief of Souls

      How are you finding TWA? Good eh?

      • MosselWasAlone

        Jis Im loving the soundtrack! And the narrating is quite epic!

  • John’s (JJ’s) finest excuse

    I think it’s more about having someone who is either also a gamer, or appreciates gaming. To me playing a game together isn’t as important as having someone with whom I can talk about gaming or someone who doesn’t give me a hard time for playing games.

    • MosselWasAlone

      I probably spoke for about 2 weeks straight about Bioshock with my girlfriend. At first she was all interested and excited, but later she jus started laughing when I said someting like: “Yeah reminds me of the time during Bioshock when you had to….” Thats when I realised I might be obsessed.

      • John’s (JJ’s) finest excuse

        Haha. Will have to install Infinite. Funny enough, my girlfriend bought me the first Bioshock before I even knew what it was.

  • That Tall Twit

    My wife and I both love playing Diablo 3 as a team on the Xbox 360. We also used to dungeon / raid together in World of Warcraft. My wife generally shares my passion for gaming and I have often come home to her already gaming on the 360 on her off days. She also loves fragging me on Halo: Reach.

  • Uberutang

    My wife and I coop all the time.

    We play star trek online (both level 50 now), Dead Island, L4D2, Path of Exile, Neverwinter Online, All the Lego games (one pc, one TV), Borderlands, etc etc.

    I tend to play tons of mp shooters ‘alone’ but zombie killing and looting games…coop!

  • Lardus-Resident Perve

    Of course I would like to find Mrs Right(now) to play games with, especially some role play…oh, PC or Console games? Yeah, that too. Maybe just someone who will accept my inner Geek and not be judgemental, regardless of her involvement in gaming. Someone to play a select few games with once in a while, or have their own types of games. As long as they do not try to change my gaming habits (and ads the adult RPG element lol)

  • Hammersteyn

    That’s the goal in life. Finding someone who shares your interests and hobbies. I doubt if you would find any women who like gaming in Huisgenoot single adds :P

    • Anon A Mouse

      Looks like I’ve been looking at the wrong places then ;-)

  • Nama5te

    Co-op gaming is one of the things that keep both my husband and myself very happy, whether it’s Gears, Halo or Forza we have heaps of aggressive fun and it makes our team stronger! If only GTA V had a co-op feature, we may have to get another tv and xbox for Xmas ?

  • Milesh Bhana

    My wife isn’t really into games so she’s happy to read a book or play casual games on her phone while i’m playing and then watch the cutscenes.

    Except Gears of War, for that I have to share the screen with her. It’s usually fun playing same screen co-op, and the fact that we can choose seperate difficulties has been a godsend.

  • InsanityFlea

    Does it have to be about console and pc gaming? or any other ‘games’ ?

    • John’s (JJ’s) finest excuse

      When you’re using chains and whips, it’s not games anymore.

      • That Tall Twit

        LOL!
        Well that depends on the person.

  • Brett Gunter

    My girlfriend and I do spend a fair amount of time playing different games in co-op, and then we have our occasional gaming stints to ourselves.

    I’m fortunate in that I have a man cave downstairs for my console gaming, whereas she has her xbox upstairs on another of the upstairs TV’s. So we play a lot of co-op over Xbox Live, or we play our seperate games on each console.

    We also have our PC’s in an office to play PC games together like Dota. I knew when I started that she would love it and we would work well together again, however, her PC back then couldnt handle it. By the time the new PC came about, Dota had gone into launch queue mode, and we were again waiting. Figured out how to jump the queue for her, and we have been playing together in Dota ever since.

  • Vampyric Squirrel of the Sith

    My wife and I used to play World of Warcraft all the time together, just got to the stage that we didn’t want to pay to play a game… haven’t really found anything else we play together now… yeah there’s Xbox games, but she battles with a controller. Last game we played together was Castle Crashers… MONTHS ago :P

    • That Tall Twit

      Guild Wars 2?
      We bought ours using eBucks and thankfully it has no monthly subscriptions! :D

      • Vampyric Squirrel of the Sith

        Been thinking of that… might just get the wife addicted to it at some stage

  • ElimiNathan

    My gf and I played Resident Evil 5 together it wasn’t too bad! Now days we have the occasional co-op game of Rayman Origins and Legends but she isn’t a big gamer, mainly Candy Crush.

  • ToshZA

    I had this whole long spiel typed out in reply. But the end is all that’s needed.

    It doesn’t matter whether he/she plays games or not. As long as the 2 people want to be with each other and accept each other’s hobbies & quirks.

    • Vampyric Squirrel of the Sith

      Brilliantly said

    • SaintsRowNigri

      Hence why I love my fiance so much: She hates gaming, the DoA reference below was years ago when I got my first Xbox 360. But I can say this: 75% of my action figure collection comes from her…

  • Vampyric Squirrel of the Sith

    I dunno if I prefer the header image or the motivational more…

  • Devourer of Small Bunnies

    I think its perfectly rational for a couple to enjoy the same things for a successful relationship.

    What I find irrational is the idea of this perfect bond, like most of these stupid scenic photos with the most retarded pubescent bullshit attached to the imagery, and we wont even start with the kak meme/images posted above. That shit is just not true, if it is, we’re talking about an infinitesimal statistic.

    Please, go out and find a guy/lass that enjoys the same things as you do, but to pretend you have symmetry is just an idealistic dream that will never come to fruition. As with most things, its all about compromise
    //end.rant

    • ToshZA

      I can agree to this, and while it is rational to share the same hobbies, one should also be open to the other person’s hobbies. As you say, compromise.

  • Umar Seeker of Truth

    Great article Zoe :)

  • Anon A Mouse

    I’m sorry but if my girl sat next to me topless I’ll most probably not even make it to switching on the console. I would love to have a girl (period?) that’s also into gaming. Not that I want to play games (on the console) with her all day but at least she will understand when I want to play for an hour or twelve without being interrupted every 5 minutes. Same goes for her, if she wants to play alone I’ll be all happy about it, except she still has to make the sammitches and bring the beer.

    • RyseandRepeat

      What you said.

    • SaintsRowNigri

      “…except she still has to make the sammitches and bring the beer.”
      And you wonder why you are still single??? LoL!

      • Anon A Mouse

        Yes I know, my expectations are too high. ;-)

  • Rags

    Yeah we love playing together. It is hard to find someone who is also into tech, bad drinks and dry humour. Taking down them Geth and Cerberus soldiers with her is a blast.
    Tali and I love to rock the combat simulator as often as we can.

  • Blasphemy

    The only thing I took away from this aricle is that hubby doesn’t know his Dark Souls… Blasphemy!!!!!

  • loftie

    I got my wife into WoW, Heroes of might and magic 2 and 5, Diablo 2 and 3 (yes i know omg auction house 3), and we play these together quite often, except Diablo 3, dont touch that anymore. I just cant get her into BF4 or any FPS for that matter, the first person view literally makes her dizzy and nauseous…

  • Alessandro Barbosa

    This was a fantastic read Zoe :)

    I keep trying to get my girlfriend into “light” games such as Braid, but she really doesn’t find the appeal. However, we often both get addicted to several mobile games, such as Candy Crush or Plants Vs. Zombies 2, and essentially game together in that way, constantly checking who is further than the other and helping each other along the way. I completely agree that it’s hard to play the exact same game at the exact same time with a partner, just because we all like different types of games. That’s not a bad thing, as you pointed out :)

  • hairyknees

    I’d like to think that my idea partner has time for gaming :) by that I don’t mean she has to be a hardcore gamer, I mean I just want her to accept that I am a gamer and I love putting my spare time into it. Hell if she is a gamer too, then thats just a bonus :D

  • Matthew Holliday

    My ex used to watch me play mass effect 2 and assassins creed on ps3, it had a different appeal though, those games were like watching movies together.

    had a few friend couples that used to play WoW together aswell, the didnt have so much the “oh no i didnt heal you in time” worries, but the teamwork aspect really works well when people are invested in each other.

    if youre into the same games, then it is (or should be) exactly the same as playing with any bro.
    if i had a gf that was even remotely good at dota 2, we would go mad on that shit.
    i play with bros all the time and you fail you fail, but when you win, fyeah, you win hard and the sense of teamwork is awesome.

  • Brady miaau

    My wife is not a gamer and is not interested in being so. She played Eternal Sonata through and enjoyed it, but that is it.

    So what? We love each other and that is it.

    Besides, I firmly believe all couples need to have separate time. I can game, she can do her crafts or play music. Great. Works for us.

    Of course now, it is Game On dirty diapers. We play that game a few times a day, sometimes together, sometimes apart.

  • ARandomGirl

    Ok ok ok, I guess I need to toss my 2 cents in……

    So I’m the girl of a gaming couple. My fiance and I met as we’re both in a small fan effort to animate the entire Mega Man X series using MikuMikuDance, and still are. I’m the lead artist / animator and he’s our Zero voiceactor. (He’s actually pretty good for being merely a fan VA too). Despite my fighting it at first (I’m 33, he’s 23, I was like “You are NUTS” when he started making concerted efforts to win me over… caved in a month later…), gaming was just, obviously, a love for us as is the X series in general (and later on we both discovered we both loved Assassin’s Creed, so another huge plus for us), so we had a huge in-common to begin with. Being an internet/long-distance relationship at first, and being so young he was still living at home taking care of elderly grandparents and disabled father and living between two-houses and made the decision to start living his own life and moved out. Thankfully he wasn’t TOO far from home, his native Toledo to my residence of Syracuse, so one fine weekend in April I drove out there and picked him up and took him back and he’s been here since, 8 months later, and we’re still doing amazing and happy together.

    As far as gaming goes, we do tend to have different tastes. He tends to play a lot of COD and stuff with friends online in his clan, though his clan has a female as one of the top members and as soon as I get a new Xbox Live Gold membership I will be in the same clan. I’ve always kinda wanted to learn how to play COD anyway because I can see how much fun he has playing it with his friends, so I’ve been wanting to experience that for a while now, plus I will admit I have a competitive streak. Most of the time I’m more into games that are more about the experience- he’ll play COD and I’ll play Journey on PS3. He’s playing Beatles Rockband and I’ll play something on my 3DS. Though we both have Pokemon X and Y (I have X and he has Y) and we battle each other often, mostly so he can test how well his EV training has been going against my mostly fully-trained team. We have a fun little rivalry with each other and have no problem having a friendly match. He didn’t like it when I started beating him at Dead or Alive 5 though, though most times he’s MUCH better than I am in any games we face off against each other in, and since I can get discouraged easily I don’t tend to play against him in games I know he’s much better in, rather I’ll play co-op if I can and he’s more than happy to help me through a tough part of the game with his l33t skillz. Most times, though, he plays the games and I’ll be doing bills or checking something on the computer or even just watching a random YouTube video and occasionally pull up a map if he needs it or something on my laptop. Of course, some games that are old, single player (such as Mega Man, or Zelda or an old Mario game) we will trade who plays depending on when the other dies or clears a stage, so we both got through it together yet, there’s no need to screen share and no tugging one another into different directions. There’s also the fact that, thankfully, he doesn’t really care for games that like to super-objectify women as no more than sex objects.. no Mass Effect or

    I dunno, for us it just works. We have a very relaxed mindset about much of our lives and really, only family and each other top all else for us. I don’t know if this sheds any light for those who want a gamer spouse or have a girl or boyfriend already who games, it’s just, respect each other’s likes and dislikes and call it a day. :3

    • Rags

      You had massive respect for being an X series fan. But then calling Mass Effect crap! Blasphemy! Burn the witch!

      • ARandomGirl

        It’s not so much that the game itself is crap, but just some of the ideas about how they design their women as nothing more than big boobed objects of gamer fantasy.

  • Stanley Watson

    Some very nice comments here, and a very good post :)

    My wife isn’t into gaming as I, and I won’t repeat the truths already expounded upon here, but there is one thing that pulls her in that I haven’t seen commented on yet: the story.

    Games with engaging stories, even if they are FPS (obviously in single player mode) we love ‘playing together’, even though it is usually me with the controller. She can’t wait for us to start playing whichever game we’re playing, because we are both so engrossed in the story…like a good book or tv series or movie, only so much more interactive.

    And she would be giving advice – and good tactical advice at that. Many times I had died not following her advice. So, in that way, it so much fun and a very good experience together.

  • bowlingotter

    My wife and I play a good bit, but like you, it’s more like we play our own things on our own times — but honestly, that’s mostly due to the fact that I’m reviewing quite often rather than playing a game of my choice at my leisure. But we still do co-op a decent amount of the time with games like Borderlands 2, Guild Wars 2, or LittleBigPlanet. And she’s my Dark Souls co-pilot as well. :D

  • AG_Sonday

    As far as relationship experience goes, I may as well have none. That said, I think the key thing is that when looking for a partner you want someone who shares some of your major interests – reading, films and gaming. It’s just another commonality to share with them and which you can both be passionate about.

    You don’t look for someone to read you 1984 (unless you’re an illiterate fox), instead you want someone who adores the book just as much and whom you can discuss it with for hours on end. Same story with gaming, you shouldn’t necessarily be looking for a co-op partner but someone to share the experience with.

  • Kyle Farmer

    *sigh* Imagine being married to Mila Kunis and playing World of Warcraft together *sigh*

  • Matthew Arnold

    My wife likes games but it’s mostly limited to Indie games, mobile games and the like. However, Diablo III totally got her hooked. She has finished the game multiple times with several characters and we often play together which is pretty cool. Whenever I do get her interested in a game I normally regret it soon after when she hogs the PC…

  • Ryne

    Hubby and I haven’t played together really since EQ, and some time while playing L2 & WoW. My biggest problem gaming with my husband in MMORPGS has been out leveling him. Our playstyles are different, he wants to do ALL THE THINGS, while I want to hit max level quickly. Add in situations where he can’t play for a while and I have ample play time… We’ve tried the character’s we only play with each other option, but frankly that never works as no current mmo hold our attention like they used to.

    Though I’ve never felt like I’ve had to pay him more attention than my other party members. I mean, when I’m healing I do my job: Keep the tank up and heal the group (or whatever healing assignments happen to be) and hubby does his job: DPS.

    I’ve also just started playing Planetside 2 w/ my hubby, its the first time we’ve play the same game together in some time. Most of the time we are both running around doing our own things. Sometimes we are in the same place at the same time and I do keep an eye out for him but it’s not quite playing together.

  • Craft

    My ex used to wake me up to play borderlands 2 on xbox – full on, weekend long, through the night gaming marathons punctuated with … other activities … it was phenomenal! and she was BELTER hot (think what you want – I know you’ll assume I’m talking shit – but I assure you – true story – BELTER hot) – would shit me out for playing without her and if I did I had to level her character up on her behalf and clone legendary weapons for her

    It was phenomenal

    Sadly … gaming isn’t evening in a relationship ….

    I’ll miss those days for sure tho!

  • Rick

    The missus and I are playing Torchlight II co-op. It’s actually therapeutic to smack around pixels together. Go figure.

  • Antibiotika

    My fiancé and I game together nightly, mostly WoW and D3. Last night we spent an hour or so hunting mount drops on WoW. We make a pro Tank/Heals combo because we sit next to each other for raids. Our guild’s MT and his wife are another Tank/Heals combo so we’re not that weird :P

  • igor

    my fiance and i we both play world of warcraft. she isnt very good in it and gets ganked a lot and i get to come to her rescue and corpse camp her assailant. we play together but not necessarily helping eachother. she does her thing i do mine. we both love the game but different aspects of it so we rarely interact with eachother. except when i am doing raids she sits and watches my screen and helps me keep an eye on whats going on.

  • Charlotte Buckingham

    My boyfriend and I both play games, but as you do, we play different games. There are a few we play together, such as Monster Hunter, Pokemon and Fire Emblem, but for the most part it’s our own.

    I think it’s pretty good; we don’t fight over console or TV time, but we’re both into gaming and the community. It’s a lot of fun.

  • El Capitan del Blade

    Here’s a Fun One Zoe, You and Hubby Play Hitman Absolution, set up Contracts for each other. It gets a bit competative, but in a Good way.

  • PostMort3m

    I’m playing videogames with my boyfriend all the time! Mostly it’s great, sometimes we fight but it’s ok! Big part of playing co-op with your partner is both having the same taste in videogames.
    :)

  • Richard Barnard

    Myself and the wife only play Final Fantasy XIV ARR together and actually run around as a team, unfortunately the useless suppliers in this country have not brought any game time cards to the country and now I jam on my PS3 and she plays Persona4 on her vita.

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