I really had plans to fill my weekend to the brim with gaming. Being Portuguese though, my schedule just filled up with a bunch of family gatherings. So many uncles and aunts and cousins, WHERE DID THEY ALL COME FROM? Goodbye Saturday and Sunday, I will miss you so!
Best Stories
There are those of you who can somehow, SOMEHOW speak more than one language. If you hate Nintendo because they don’t let you import their games due to region locking, well, hate no more. There is hope for you yet. We’re also never going to let people forget that we are the Advanced Warfare champions. Gavin just won’t let it go! Don’t forget, you can win a nice shiny Atlas Limited Edition of the game too.
Worst Stories
The Black Glove is struggling to reach its Kickstarter goal. I think the game looks rather interesting, but with around 10 hours left to go now, they are not even half way there. It doesn’t look like it will ever happen.
When it comes to PC gaming, the Master Race loves bragging about how awesome Steam is. A platform that keeps your games in one neat place, sales for days, and Gabe Newell? IT’S THE BEST! First we thought Ubisoft was simply ditching the UK Steam store, but we found out this morning that they are actually removing their games from Steam worldwide. Many gamers aren’t happy. You should all learn from Gavin. Learn to let it go.
Random Stories
There weren’t really any WTF stories this week, except maybe for this public announcement and this assault on the ears.
Best ION Header
Oh man the sexy iMac with retina 5k display. Just look at those curves, that beautiful finish! What a perfectly well priced piece of technology.
Most Comments
It was Call of Duty week, and there were a bunch of articles with loads of comments including my review and this article discussing the horrendous lag the game seems to have. The winner though, raking in 141 comments, is the article discussing the frame rate on the PlayStation 4 coming at a price.
Least Comments
The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask 3D will be landing in 2015. Too bad only three people seem to care; Darryn, and the two commenters on the article.
Batman Of The Week
It must be hard winning Batman so frequently. Just look at poor Geoff, so tired that he had to lie down for a quick snooze!
Cabbage Of The Week
Oh man, this doesn’t happen often… when it does though, I celebrate! SANDY IS YOUR CABBAGE THIS WEEK! LOOK AT THAT SILLY CABBAGE FACE!
Header Image Of The Week
It was Guy Fawkes the other day, and it resulted in some top class photoshop, at least from Geoff and Darryn. My skills need some serious work, but I really look forward to any future shop-offs. Anyways, this was one of my favourites from Geoff.
Comment Of The Week
Splatoon looks so rad, AMIRITE UMAR?
Oh what, so NOW tentacles are suddenly cool?
No, they’ve always been cool! I mean… er…
Bonus Premium Content
We really can’t stop giggling at this. I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO DAT! Note, lower your volume… for your own safety.
We’re feeling so generous this week, so you get to watch this too!
BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Because you’re all such awesome readers, we’re giving you this limited edition, extra length video goodness for free as well!
Last Updated: November 7, 2014
Captain JJ the pout
November 7, 2014 at 12:34
ION Header of the week? But all Macs look the same.
Hammersteyn
November 7, 2014 at 12:35
Cabbages too.
Captain JJ the pout
November 7, 2014 at 12:36
I still don’t know how Apple is defined as tech though ;P
HvR
November 7, 2014 at 12:48
But cabbages can’t bend
Xexo
November 7, 2014 at 15:06
But Apple’s CEO sure can….
hairyknees
November 7, 2014 at 12:38
Image text should explain everything 😛
RinceThis
November 7, 2014 at 17:22
Lol. They are!
Lord Chaos
November 7, 2014 at 12:36
So… There were two ION butterfaces?
Hammersteyn
November 7, 2014 at 12:36
There are those of you who can somehow, SOMEHOW speak more than one language?
Om eerilik te wees dis nogals snaaks hoe baie mense wat Destiny speel Afrikaans is maar ons praat maar engels vir die res se onthalwe.
Captain JJ the pout
November 7, 2014 at 12:37
Ja, daai is nie reg nie.
Lord Chaos
November 7, 2014 at 12:37
Wat se jy? Ek verstaan nie Afrikaans nie.
Captain JJ the pout
November 7, 2014 at 12:38
Te danke aan Hammer se kommentaar gaan ons nou hierdie artikel spam met Afrikaans.
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 12:39
Dit klink na ‘n meestervolle plan daardie my vriend
Hammersteyn
November 7, 2014 at 12:40
Hopelik is Rince af vandag.
Captain JJ the pout
November 7, 2014 at 12:40
Rince is altyd af. ;P
Hammersteyn
November 7, 2014 at 12:41
Bwahahaha! Daai arme dierbare ou gemmer koekie
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 12:41
Meer dier as baar
HvR
November 7, 2014 at 12:52
Half dier half baar
Thats_how_I_Troll
November 7, 2014 at 12:55
Halwe Lewe 3 Bevestig!
Kensei Seraph Never Forget Ouk
November 7, 2014 at 12:56
Half Life 3 confirmed?
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 12:56
Knap gedaan Kensei!
Kensei Seraph Never Forget Ouk
November 7, 2014 at 12:57
All I got from that was my name and after what I got the last time I tried using Google Translate I’m not even going to put in the effort.
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 12:58
Probeer gerus, jy mag dalk verbaas wees, ek het jou ‘n kompliment gegee ou perd
Spaffy
November 7, 2014 at 13:00
@disqus_dQR6yNlVbg:disqus Admiral just called you a horse 😛
Captain JJ the pout
November 7, 2014 at 13:00
LOL
Lord Chaos
November 7, 2014 at 13:01
An old horse…
Spaffy
November 7, 2014 at 13:02
n Mens kyk seker nie n gegewe perd in die bek nie…
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 13:04
XD
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 13:04
Nie net ‘n perd nie, ‘n OU perd!
Captain JJ the pout
November 7, 2014 at 13:05
Hulle sal verbaas wees wat Amiraal Hoof Slingervel alles sê
Spaffy
November 7, 2014 at 13:06
Ek dag n wang is jou … toema
Captain JJ the pout
November 7, 2014 at 13:07
Beste wat ek kon doen en dit veilig hou.
HvR
November 7, 2014 at 13:07
Dan wat dink jy is jou slingervel?
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 13:07
*Admiraal
Captain JJ the pout
November 7, 2014 at 13:07
Damn it.
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 13:07
*Deksels
*Vervlaks
(kies een)
Kensei Seraph Never Forget Ouk
November 7, 2014 at 13:08
Somehow I can understand the Grammar Nazi corrections…
HvR
November 7, 2014 at 13:07
*Deksels
Thats_how_I_Troll
November 7, 2014 at 13:08
*Goeie D**s
Spaffy
November 7, 2014 at 13:12
Ag Fok.
Kensei Seraph Never Forget Ouk
November 7, 2014 at 13:07
I’ve been called worse.
Thats_how_I_Troll
November 7, 2014 at 13:09
A whorse?
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 13:10
LKH
Kensei Seraph Never Forget Ouk
November 7, 2014 at 13:12
No, it is a name that is only known to fallen Nazis.
Sageville
November 7, 2014 at 13:16
An old one at that!
Kensei Seraph Never Forget Ouk
November 7, 2014 at 13:24
@Lord_Chaos_404:disqus did mention that further down.
Sageville
November 7, 2014 at 14:25
Like I read other people’s comments!
Kensei Seraph Never Forget Ouk
November 8, 2014 at 11:21
Ha! You read my comment.
Now that you have been defeated go read all the other comments.
Thats_how_I_Troll
November 7, 2014 at 12:59
Pasop Kensei, dus n slaggaat!
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 13:00
*dis
Thats_how_I_Troll
November 7, 2014 at 13:07
Jammer, my vout… Was skrikwekkend….
Thats_how_I_Troll
November 7, 2014 at 12:56
Presies!
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 12:56
Puik!
Thats_how_I_Troll
November 7, 2014 at 12:45
Praat jy van “SpoelDitAf”?
Hammersteyn
November 7, 2014 at 12:49
Die einste een
Thats_how_I_Troll
November 7, 2014 at 12:50
Ek het gehoor hy betaal net met die lyf na vyf!
HvR
November 7, 2014 at 12:52
??? Het Afspoel iets laat afsny?
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 12:41
Janee af soos laasweek se kapokaartappels
Captain JJ the pout
November 7, 2014 at 12:42
Selfs ek het gesukkel om daai woord te lees.
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 12:42
Dis omdat jy te veel grimering dra ou maat
Hammersteyn
November 7, 2014 at 12:43
Hy is gepleister soos versiersuiker
Captain JJ the pout
November 7, 2014 at 12:44
As ek buk dan donner my gesig af.
Wag…hoekom help ek julle om my vir ‘n gek te neem?
Lord Chaos
November 7, 2014 at 12:46
Hoekom buk jy??????? O_o
Of moet ek vra vir wie?
Captain JJ the pout
November 7, 2014 at 12:47
Ek dog EA is naby, toe maak ek maar solank gereed.
Hammersteyn
November 7, 2014 at 12:50
Maak ‘n U turn, koop ‘n blikkie Play en speel eerder Ubisoft games.
Captain JJ the pout
November 7, 2014 at 12:54
Nee dankie. 🙂
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 12:55
*u-draai
Captain JJ the pout
November 7, 2014 at 12:56
Selfs in Afrikaans bly jy die grammatieka nazi.
Lord Chaos
November 7, 2014 at 12:57
Hoe dan nou anders?
Hammersteyn
November 7, 2014 at 12:58
Erger as ‘n apartheidse Afrikaanse onderwyser.
HvR
November 7, 2014 at 12:58
Ja hy is regte Taalkundige Tollie
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 12:59
Ek is ‘n Taalkundige Deskundige Meester
Captain JJ the pout
November 7, 2014 at 13:00
Duidelik is my Afrikaans nie so goed soos wat ek gedink het nie.
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 13:04
Ons almal het sterk punte, joune lê nou weer in grimering. So werk ons almal saam!
FreddyBear
November 7, 2014 at 13:07
Jolige samewerking!
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 13:08
🙂
Alien Emperor Trevor
November 7, 2014 at 12:54
Ja nee, glimlag maar net. Wag, miskien kraak jou gesig. ;P
HvR
November 7, 2014 at 12:55
Hy het meer verflae as custom painted Cortina
Captain JJ the pout
November 7, 2014 at 12:56
Gril ek nou.
Hammersteyn
November 7, 2014 at 12:57
XD XD XD
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 13:00
Haai, daai Ingels.
*persoonlike geverfde Cortina
Alien Emperor Trevor
November 7, 2014 at 12:53
Ek het gewonder wat daai aaklige reuk was.
Rock789
November 7, 2014 at 14:16
Hy kan nogal nie so lekker lees nie. So ons kan maar praat. 😉
RinceThis
November 7, 2014 at 17:24
Yeah. I was off today. Started my day with a whopper. Then watched Interstellar and git gym now on some beer. Want to tease me? PLEASE
Hammersteyn
November 10, 2014 at 07:46
I meant that I was hoping you took the day off(Fortunately you did) because we were turning the comment section into Kyknet. Even @disqus_dQR6yNlVbg:disqus was a bit irked at our use of Afrikaans. At least you had a long weekend coupled with a fantastic Friday. I so want to see Interstellar. I just know it’s gonna be good.
Thats_how_I_Troll
November 7, 2014 at 12:44
Uitstekend!
R1ker
November 7, 2014 at 12:47
Dit klink na ‘n briljante idee
HvR
November 7, 2014 at 12:50
Dink Lazygamer kort beitjie meer Afrikaans, hiermee stel ek ‘n petisie in vir “Koolkop van die Week”
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 12:55
Ek teken daardie petisie in ‘n oogwink!
Gavin Mannion
November 7, 2014 at 12:56
damnit who let the farmers in
Captain JJ the pout
November 7, 2014 at 12:58
You’ll need them in Don’t Starve ;P
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 13:06
Oh, let it go!
R1ker
November 7, 2014 at 13:07
ah – Gavin. Laat dit gaan jong
HvR
November 7, 2014 at 14:29
Ag Gavin kom aan spring in en doen die Pierewaaier Dans
Captain JJ the pout
November 7, 2014 at 12:55
Jy het my swaard
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 13:06
En my byl!
Mossel
November 7, 2014 at 14:12
Bebaarde bylwond…
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 14:21
OI!
Sageville
November 7, 2014 at 15:29
Ek volg nie hierdie kombuistaal nie!
hairyknees
November 7, 2014 at 12:38
Reminds me of my biggest fear when talking to an Afrikaans person.
Them: “Wat’s jou naam?”
Me: “Ja… mooi!”
Hammersteyn
November 7, 2014 at 12:39
Thanks, now everyone wants to know what’s so funny.
hairyknees
November 7, 2014 at 12:39
MY WORK HERE IS DONE XD
Alien Emperor Trevor
November 7, 2014 at 12:52
The other day I when playing Warframe this dude starts typing in the Russians, other guy asks him to speak the Engels. He says “No.” Other guy says he’s Turkish & doesn’t understand Russian. Russian guy says, “I don’t speak English.”
I lol’d.
Kensei Seraph Never Forget Ouk
November 7, 2014 at 12:55
You know whenever someone mentions something in Afrikaans on LG I just completely ignore it.
Captain JJ the pout
November 7, 2014 at 12:57
Het iemand nou net kommentaar gelewer?
Kensei Seraph Never Forget Ouk
November 7, 2014 at 12:58
Something about everyone (that’s iemand right?) and commentators?
Lord Chaos
November 7, 2014 at 12:59
Google translate is lying to you…
Kensei Seraph Never Forget Ouk
November 7, 2014 at 13:02
I’m not using Google Translate, I’m using the vague memories remaining from Matric 2nd Language Afrikaans back in 2007.
HvR
November 7, 2014 at 13:05
Dink dis bleddie onregverdig dat Tweede Taal Engels Shakespeare in matriek doen en Tweede Taal Afrikaans Boet en Saartjie boeke.
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 13:09
HAHAHAHAHA
Boet en Saartjie, janee
Mossel
November 7, 2014 at 14:10
hahaha!!! Boet en Saartjie was in die ou bedeling. My generasie het Biebie en Kalla gedoen! lol
HvR
November 7, 2014 at 14:27
Wat was fout met Boet en Saartjie? Behalwe nou vir die bloedskande.
Mossel
November 7, 2014 at 15:24
haha Nee jong ek weet nie. In graad een het ek nie vrae gevra nie.
Captain JJ the pout
November 7, 2014 at 13:02
Translation: “Did someone just comment”
iemand = someone
Kensei Seraph Never Forget Ouk
November 7, 2014 at 13:06
I think I just learnt more Afrikaans in that 1 comment than I did in 5 years of High School Afrikaans
Hammersteyn
November 7, 2014 at 13:00
We’re just messing about. It is Friday after all.
Sageville
November 7, 2014 at 13:11
Ek kan net in Afrikaans fokken vloek, vokja!
Hammersteyn
November 7, 2014 at 12:38
Geoff is Batman! Oh wait wrong gif… (Right Geoff though)
http://img-9gag-lol.9cache.com/photo/areWNYd_460sa_v1.gif
Sageville
November 7, 2014 at 13:20
No, I’m pretty sure thats the right gif…
Hammersteyn
November 7, 2014 at 14:27
rofl
Hammersteyn
November 7, 2014 at 12:42
Daardie pruik is meer skrikwekend as die spinnekop. Eintlik is die groen crocs die mees skrikwekend
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 13:11
*skrikwekkend
*kroks
*skrikwekkend
Captain JJ the pout
November 7, 2014 at 13:12
Jy’s ‘n krok! ;P
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 13:20
JOU MA IS ‘n KROK
(trek, ek nou ‘n RvD laaitie op myself)
HvR
November 7, 2014 at 13:22
Klink soos Afrikaans fliek titel waarin Robbie Wessels sal speel.
Admiral Chief Wang
November 7, 2014 at 13:23
Roep van Diens (:P)
HvR
November 7, 2014 at 12:42
Best crowd funding project of the week
Hammersteyn
November 7, 2014 at 12:50
Sharlto Copley FTW
HvR
November 7, 2014 at 12:54
That grenade hop in the stairwell is brilliant.
Tiaan Pat
November 7, 2014 at 14:41
Epic
Kensei Seraph Never Forget Ouk
November 7, 2014 at 12:50
I have a lecture on Saturday morning, followed by getting the clutch fixed on Saturday afternoon and on Sunday I need to do the shopping for the coming week.
Stupid real-life getting in the way of my gaming. *grumble grumble grumble*
Kensei Seraph Never Forget Ouk
November 7, 2014 at 12:52
I feel like the ION headers are slowly falling below the usual standards (well except for those Tuesday one from Geoff).
Kensei Seraph Never Forget Ouk
November 7, 2014 at 13:10
I should really get back to reteaching myself how SQL CASE statements work in highly complex SQL stored procedures that someone else wrote and that I don’t fully understand.
CAE9872
November 7, 2014 at 13:12
Surely that is easier than understanding…I don’t know…women!!!???
Spaffy
November 7, 2014 at 13:14
Or Afrikaans, in his case
CAE9872
November 7, 2014 at 13:15
Haha yes I saw that!
Sageville
November 7, 2014 at 13:14
Alternatively, simply declare the procedure “Wrong” and redo the whole thing in your own easy-mode style.
CAE9872
November 7, 2014 at 13:15
Nice one Umar!
R1ker
November 7, 2014 at 13:23
Jisslaaik soos dinge nou gaan gaan hierdie artikel die meeste opmerkings he vir die goeie, slegte en lelik artikel. Miskien haal dit einde volgende week s’n
Sageville
November 7, 2014 at 15:26
“Best ION Header”?
Gawd! yawl are scraping the barrel now.
hairyknees
November 8, 2014 at 00:28
I was just trolling 🙁
RinceThis
November 7, 2014 at 17:23
I think Guild should have been made cabbage of the week for obvious reasons…