And thus gentlemen, we cue the theme music for our weekly wrap. Map map map! Mlalalalalap! Map map map! Mepmep! Map map map! Mllalalalalap! Map map mewp! Mamamamamameh!
Best Story
Here’s some good news, for those of you who still believe in the Xbox One. It’s coming with a bundled headset, so you won’t have to spend extra cash on a peripheral that’ll allow tweens to tell you what they’re going to do to your mom!
Worst Story
Well shitake, it doesn’t come with one after all. Dammit, you just can’t win these days.
Best ION Header
I think Tori Black is our ION header of the week. And I’m not saying that because I own several of her DVDs that I’ve hidden under my bed. Nope, nothing to do with that all!
Most Comments
Yolanda gets the most comments this week with…Wait, Yolanda? Lemme check something here, this can’t be right…huh, it’s legit. Well, good work Yoyo, you’ve got the most comments this week for your piece on not finishing games and sinning and something.
I’ll confess, I wasn’t paying attention because SQUIRREL!
Least Comments
Yolanda also gets least comments this week for her Borderlands 2 GOTY article, and thus balance has been restored to the Force. And if anyone disagrees, I’ll zap them with some of my Force Lightning. Just stand still there while I build up a static charge on this rub.
Batman Of The Week
The funny thing is, is that I really wasn’t trying to be Batman this week, even though Geoff had been missing for a few days. Zoe put a ton of effort, soul and heart into cracking the award that she so desperately craves, but failed to take that slice of the impact pie.
After much thought and deliberation, I’ve decided that the only fair thing that I can do is to completely ignore her and claim my throne once again as Batman of the week.
Gee, ain’t I a stinker?
Header Image Of The Week
I’ve got to be honest here. I’ve got a rare bone disease that forces me to photoshop Batman-related images whenever something linked to one of the films pops up, no matter how obscure the reference. My bone diseases also stops from pronouncing the letter t in the word Plane’’rium.
Comment Of The Week
Ultimo Cleric N7 wins comment of the week, for his last minute gamertag entry on a Thursday article. And if you’ve got problem with that, then I’ve got two words for ya! Shake ‘n Bake!
Well this is a story all about how
My life got flip turned upside down
And I like to tell a story
Just sit right there
I’ll tell ya how I became the Cleric who lives in this lair!
Mine was kind of inspired by the Gramitron Clerics from Equilibrium (Batman, before he was Batman). I wanted the name “Ultimate Cleric” in Guild Wars, but it was taken, So i went with Ultimo. I later found out that it means ‘final’ in French, which makes it even cooler!
Last Updated: July 5, 2013
OVG
July 5, 2013 at 12:36
Ultimo Fantasy :p
Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew
July 5, 2013 at 12:39
Hahaha!
Ultimo_Cleric N7
July 5, 2013 at 12:56
I knew you had dirty dreams of me. Now I have proof.
POLIZIA!!!!
RinceWind
July 5, 2013 at 13:53
Be afraid, be very afraid!
Admiral Chief Groot Wors
July 5, 2013 at 12:37
Once again Darryn ignores me. Aw well.
Well done Yolandaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Major Commodore 64 Darryn B
July 5, 2013 at 12:46
I could swear I heard something just now.
OVG
July 5, 2013 at 12:51
Your bat sonar needs more power
Admiral Chief Groot Wors
July 5, 2013 at 13:04
‘Twas the sound of your impending doom
Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew
July 5, 2013 at 13:05
And now for a rendition of the doom song performed by Admiral Chief Erwin.
Take it away man!!
Admiral Chief Groot Wors
July 5, 2013 at 13:06
Im gunna sing The Doom Song now!
Doom doom doom doom doom,
doom doom do DOOM,
DOOOM doom do-doom,
DOOM do-doom doom doooom,
doom doom dooom, do-do-DOOOM!
Ultimo_Cleric N7
July 5, 2013 at 13:47
I love that dubstep song!
HvR
July 5, 2013 at 14:02
thought that was the mission impossible song
Mossel
July 5, 2013 at 14:19
hahaha! invader zim?
Admiral Chief Groot Wors
July 5, 2013 at 14:26
LOL
RinceWind
July 5, 2013 at 13:54
YOU SHUT UP!
Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew
July 5, 2013 at 12:39
Wait,
So best story is MS Headset
Worst story is MS Headset
Most comments: Yolanda
Least Comments: Yolanda
I see a pattern here. lol
Either way. Congrats Yolanda on most comments! Twas a great article!
HvR
July 5, 2013 at 14:02
Darryn is being lazy, copy and pasting half is work.
Zoe
July 5, 2013 at 12:43
i just wanna say – I WAS ROBBED! and, you all miss out, because i had planned my ion pose. *stomps off to sulk*
Admiral Chief Groot Wors
July 5, 2013 at 12:44
Was it a pose of you watching dudes?
CaptainNemo42
July 5, 2013 at 14:52
What’s that again? Left to right?
Admiral Chief Groot Wors
July 5, 2013 at 14:59
I hope so
Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew
July 5, 2013 at 12:53
There there. There’s always next week. Just post as many flame luring articles as what you can possibly find 🙂
Lord Chaos
July 5, 2013 at 12:43
Mmmmm Tori….
I could have sworn I had something profound to say.
Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew
July 5, 2013 at 12:54
Did you even scroll past to read who got most and least comments?
Lord Chaos
July 5, 2013 at 12:57
I think I did, but then I went back to the image again.
Ultimo_Cleric N7
July 5, 2013 at 12:56
FINALLYY!!!! VICTORY IS MIIINNEEE!!!!!!
BYYYY THE POOWER OF GREYSKULLL!!!! IIIIII HAAAAVE THHEEEE POWERRRR!!!!!
Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew
July 5, 2013 at 13:00
Best response to winning best comment I have ever seen. Have an upvote
Andre116
July 5, 2013 at 13:19
Will that be a new category next week?
Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew
July 5, 2013 at 13:22
hehehe
Happy Hamster
July 5, 2013 at 13:20
If you take away the WER in POOWER than he said Poo
Lord Chaos
July 5, 2013 at 13:04
Excuse me sir, I think you dropped this. *Hands back humility*
Congrats man.
Ultimo_Cleric N7
July 5, 2013 at 13:52
I am at least 43.46 times MORE humble than you. I am like the humblest PERSON EVER! EEEVEEERRRRR!!!!
Help me 🙁
Lord Chaos
July 5, 2013 at 13:55
If you’re gonna be drinking the least you could do is share…
ElNicko
July 5, 2013 at 13:08
Chocolate covered pretzels anyone ??
Skyblue
July 5, 2013 at 22:55
Best ION header? Hell yes!!