Stupid gaming tattoos that have made me lose my faith in humanity

MariOH

I am not big on tattoos – or body art as some may prefer to call it. I get that it’s all about expression, and being unique and whatever other new-age philosophies are cluttering your brains. I understand carefully considered tattoos that are highly personal, commemorating the death of a loved one, the birth of a child or the first time a member of the opposite sex fiddled with your private bits – but mostly, people seem to get tattoos for the sake of..well getting a tattoo.

It’s the sort of thing that leads people to getting Kanji characters on their arms that they think means “Heaven,” instead proudly proclaiming their statuses as fuzzy watermelons or magical penises. Despite video games’ ability to foster logic, many gamers don’t seem to have any, as this gallery of ridiculously bad gaming tattoos testifies.

zapper

Who knew Chewbacca was a NES fan? The original NES shipped with Duck Hunt, a light-gun game utilising the NES Zappers – but this guy seems more intent on playing Dick Hunt. He seems to be a fan of peripherals though, because the guns are pointing at his joystick. Speaking of Duck Hunt…

duckhunt

Tramp stamps are fantastic – they’re an easily identifiable marker of promiscuity. They’re also (if you know what I mean – and you do, you dirty bastards) a great spot to aim for. For nostalgia’s sake, I’d try hit the dog.

Gameover

Yes, yes it is. Especially if the game was “Employment,” or “Love Life.”

sureyoucan

This is probably my favourite stupid tattoo. It’s a fail on so many levels – not just because it’s large and unsightly – but the important command for Street Fighter’s famous dragon punch is completely wrong. Two points of public ridicule for the price of one! When he was discussing getting this done, his friends should have Tatsumakisenpuukyaku’d his ass.

hoes

This is why you’re single. I don’t think you’ll ever have to put that mantra to use, buddy.

Gameboy

I loved the Gameboy. Hell, everybody loved the Gameboy and immortalising it isn’t such a terrible idea…but this? This tattoo must’ve been done in 5 minutes tops -with a Bic pen and a needle. I can only assume your lip’s hanging so low because you’ve just realised what you’ve done.

chest

It’s a classic game bonanza! Q-Bert, Bomberman, Pitfall, Rampage, Pac-man and more. What’s missing?

Oh. common sense.

dualshockhands

It’s quite apt that you have to put yours hands together to see the complete tattoo – because now you can be reminded of how awesome your PlayStation is when you’re begging for money.

Now

If you don’t already, you’re going to feel like a giant idiot when the next-generation rolls around.

bowser

Yes, that’s Bowser playing a double-necked guitar, while peering over his shades whilst riding surfboard atop a giant marijuana leaf and a cross. Yes, it says “Happy Birthday Rick” above it. inspired by a “Whitest Kids You Know” skit, this has to be the worst “joke” gaming tattoo pretty much ever. Joke’s on you.

With a new breed of haptic tattoo on the way, we’ll soon be treated to a new breed of stupidity.

Got any more? Feel free to link them in the comments.

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Author:Geoffrey Tim

I'm old, grumpy and more than just a little cynical. One day, I found myself in possession of a NES, and a copy of Super Mario Bros 3. It was that game that made me realise that games were more than just toys to idly while away time - they were capable of being masterpieces. I'm here now, looking for more of those masterpieces.
  • Joe Wilcox

    LOL my bros bowser tatoo / HAHAHAA by; the way its happy bday NICK LOL

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