Saints Row 4 banned in Oz because of an alien sexual assault weapon 
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Darryn Bonthuys
June 26, 2013 at 11:00 am

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I’ll give Australia some credit, even though it causes me an intense level of pain, about their recent policies on allowing adults to choose what games they want to play. They’ve made some real headway, but every now and again, one game sends them into full-crikey mode. The game in question this time? Saints Row IV, and it’s er, probing detail.

Saints Row IV was refused any form of rating by the Australian Classification Board this week, a move which essentially bans the game from being sold in the land of Oz. This comes from the fact that the game includes an “Alien Anal Probe” weapon, which does its job, but in a gory and over the top style. Which is kind of what I’d expect from Saints Row at this point.

In a statement that was published on Kotaku, the ACB described the weapon which had gotten their assorted panties all bunched up:

The game includes a weapon referred to by the Applicant as an ‘Alien Anal Probe’. The Applicant states that this weapon can be ‘shoved into enemy’s backsides’. The lower half of the weapon resembles a sword hilt and the upper part contains prong-like appendages which circle around what appears to be a large dildo which runs down the centre of the weapon.

When using this weapon the player approaches a (clothed) victim from behind and thrusts the weapon between the victim’s legs and then lifts them off the ground before pulling a trigger which launches the victim into the air. After the probe has been implicitly inserted into the victim’s anus the area around their buttocks becomes pixelated highlighting that the aim of the weapon is to penetrate the victim’s anus.

The weapon can be used during gameplay on enemy characters or civilians. In the Board’s opinion, a weapon designed to penetrate the anus of enemy characters and civilians constitutes a visual depiction of implied sexual violence that is interactive and not justified by context and as such the game should be Refused Classification.

Also, references to drugs are bad m’kay, according to the fuehrers of the Australian Classification Board uber alles:

The game contains an optional mission which involves the player obtaining and smoking drugs referred to as ‘alien narcotics’. Smoking the ‘alien narcotics’ equips the player with ‘superpowers’ which increase their in-game abilities allowing them to progress through the mission more easily.

That’s an issue and some potential lost revenue for developer Deep Silver. Taking these demands to heart, Saints Row IV will then be reworked and modified for Australia, before being resubmitted for classification. This also means that the August worldwide release of the game could be delayed, but it’s completely worth it just for that ridiculously sublime dubstep gun.

I’m not saying that a weapon which maybe uses sexual assault as it’s main form of ammunition is ok, but then again this is Saints Row. This is a franchise which had players running around in the last gun, slapping faces with a gigantic floppy dildo sword. Because it was funny. And that’s how some video games work.

Because he's the writer that Lazygamer deserves, but not the one it actually needs right now. So we'll hunt him. Because he can't take it. Because he's not a hero. He's a loud-mouthed journalist, a watchful procrastinator. A dork knight.

  • HvR

    For a bunch of criminal off spring they are a bunch of prudes.

    Wish the head of the ACB could read out that statement at live press conference.

  • Warren Ross

    It’s funny that their attempt to outline a sexual assault weapon in non-explicit legalese still contains the word “dildo.” :D

    • HvR

      object shaped like an erect penis used for sexual stimulation

      • Unavengedavo

  • TiMsTeR1033

    why is anyone suprised, Aussies ban flipping every violent game almost! suprised Farcry 3 even made it on the shores of down under, will be suprised if GTA 5 does.

  • Hammersteyn

    But the 3 foot pink dildos was fine in the SR3? First the cricket and rugby now this. Sad day to be a Aussie.

    • Trevor Davies

      Sad day to be an Aussie – being born an Aussie :P trollol

  • Yolanda Green

    HEADER WIN!

    • Hammersteyn

      Who is that? Allen Border?

      • Yolanda Green
        • Hammersteyn

          Oh now I remebmer.

      • Skyblue

        NO!! You do not simply ask who Chopper Read is! One of my favorite movies and it put Eric Bana on the map.

        “I’m just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture.”

    • Skyblue

      Seconded

  • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

    What a bizarre weapon 0_o

    • frikkenator

      By bizarre you mean awesome right?

      • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

        Lol well I don’t know about awesome. But at least it’s not a freaking bow again amiright?

        • Trevor Davies

          Idea for the next game: A Penis Bow.

    • Airborne

      Ha, just wait for the Vagina Arrow. You shoot at your opponents, and then they get F@#KED good and proper. As they are dying in throes of passion, a lawyer comes along and takes their car, house, guns, ammo and PS4…

  • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

    I weep for the kids whose parents buy them this game

    • HvR

      I know, exposing your underage kids to horrible sounding dubstep music you deserve to be locked up.

  • RinceTheWhiskyWithIce

    Hahaha! Awesome weapon! Not so awesome for Aussies…

  • Happy Hamster

    The Aussie Board that made that decision to Ban it because they are afraid that some Aussie in there country might replicate that weapon and use it on Sheep aka Sheila and that wouldnt go well with the Australian SPCA

  • Happy Hamster

    Sheila

  • Rock789

    At this rate, I’d be surprised if Gran Turismo 6 or Forza 5 make it to the shores down-under – “sorry mate, we don’t allow car porn in ‘ere”.

  • Unavengedavo

    Only one word comes to mind…

  • Trevor Davies

    Well done ACB! By preventing naive, sheltered adults from finding out about such perverse filth that exists nowhere else but in this game you have made the world a safer place.

    • Argentil

      Clearly Australia doesn’t trust parents not to buy an adult game for their kids. If I were living there, I would be furious.

      • Vampyre Squirrel

        If I were living there, I’d import!

        • Argentil

          But that’s inconvenient, and there’s always a risk of postal mishaps. I received a very mangled Collector’s Edition from the UK. Now that was upsetting.

      • Guest

        yeah but this is exactly it, the only people i could imagine finding something like that remotely funny would be a 13 year old kid.

  • http://lazygamer.net/ OVG

    Sheep anal probe patch coming day one. FIXED.

  • http://xelusprime.wix.com/ettiennev Xelus

    Oh please, cry my f#$%ing river, you allow violence, sex and all sorts of other shit in your country but not a weapon that gets shoved digitally up a digital character’s butt? Seriously? Your argument is invalid. You thought this was bad, you should see what real people do in their country.

  • Wb

    I live in Australia and all of the ratings for games come from a panel of Mormons making their own decisions for the public, there’s no consideration of the everyday Australian’s opinion, but at least the ACB can’t take away our alcohol.
    P.S. the Australian classification board doesn’t represent the Australian public’s views and opinions.
    we are as annoyed as you are, possibly more considering our right to make our own decisions are be thrown out the window, also i’ve pre-ordered the super dangerous wub wub edition to find the game’s being suspended and i haven’t even gotten my money back.

    • http://lazygamer.net/ OVG

      Dont worry, the old fuckers will all be dead a few decades from now. Then the gaming generation will be in charge, and it will be us who will not understand what the fuck the kids are into. From Jazz, Rock n Roll, porn, comics and gaming I hate to think what will be the next scape goat.

      • wjb161

        i agree but there really has to be a public bill for the people to decide, hello aren’t we living in a democracy. i say that direct democracy is better then a parliamentary system and even better then a presidential system. But back to your previous comment OVG i think our Generation will be more understanding as we are the generation that has been the most restricted and we know the anger of having some arrogant individual make dicisions that impact the way we want to live.

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