Move aside Arkham Knight, this is the Batman game that we deserve 
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Darryn Bonthuys
July 3, 2014 at 6:00 pm

Bat5

One of the reasons I’ve been slobbering like Homer Simpson over Batman: Arkham Knight, is that you get to drive around in the Batmobile in that game. And that specific incarnation of the Batmobile is fantastic. But what if I told you that a Batman game exists where you can drive all of the previous cars that Batman has pimped out? Because such a game does exist.

I have no idea where this Batman game came from, but what I do know is that it happens to include Batmobiles from the Tim Burton, Joel Schumacher and Christopher Nolan eras. And it is glorious. See for yourself below:

By the way, this is what the actual arcade cabinet for the Batman game looks like, plus details. HHHRRRRRNNNNGGGHHHH:

Bat1 Bat2

Bat3 Bat4

  • Mission-based video game-play encourages continue play
  • Themed steering wheel includes triggers for easy weapon launching
  • Massive glowing Bat Emblem towers above the game
  • 10 Batmobiles to choose from – every Batmobile ever screened!
  • 36 missions (easy to hard)
  • Over 500 color-shifting LEDs
  • 6 awesome power-ups (jump jet, batarang, cannon, drone, missiles, battering ram)
  • 3 unique, cinematic villain battles
  • Aerial missions put the player in control of “The Bat”
  • Pin in system to keep track of mission progress/high scores
  • Amazing graphics and sound effects

Using the power of maths, I have already devised a formula to either prove why this game is better or the fact that God may actually exist.

If Arkham Knight has one Batmobile (Represented by X), and this Batman game has all of them (represented by pie), then X to the power of pie should equal Michael Keaton. Which in my mind, makes this game roughly 600% better than Batman: Arkham Knight. For reals, this makes perfect sense. There’s only one problem however.

Arcades are a dying species, much like our rhinos and Steve Hofmeyer’s sanity. There’s most likely little to no chance that any of us will ever play this game. Unless we find ourselves in one of those dodgy little truck stop arcades in the East. And that makes me sad, because this looks like a genuinely fun way to spend a couple of Rands.

Here in PE, there’s only one arcade here and it’s used as a makeshift daycare centre for the little bastards belonging to all the irresponsible parents who are busy gambling away in the casino. It also happens to house games that may be older than the written word, and what’s even more amazing is that this arcade cabinets are actually newer than the ones that were present at the old tenpin bowling complex that used to be around before it took a bulldozer to the structural support.

I’m sure other cities around the country also have an arcade or two just waiting for the sweet release of death, as it just isn’t worth the cash these days to import new cabinets.

Because he's the writer that Lazygamer deserves, but not the one it actually needs right now.So we'll hunt him. Because he can't take it. Because he's not a hero. He's a loud-mouthed journalist, a watchful procrastinator. A dork knight.

  • https://twitter.com/SaveTheQueenIX Liquid Kaz (Umar)

    I swear to god that has got to be the Val Kilmer to the power 2-face best maths in the world…

  • Jarred Holmes

    We actually have this game at our arcade in the humble Nelspruit! Mpumalanga for the win!:-D

    Driving physics are equal to riding a goat blindfolded through mud unfortunately…

    • http://www.lazygamer.net/ The D

      I’m moving to Mpumalanga!

    • Sageville

      So it’s a Forza port then….

  • Thats_how_I_Troll

    Darren, have you never been to Olympics Cafe? the other game arcade

  • https://www.facebook.com/TheGamingAlcoholic The Gaming Alcoholic

    I encountered this game a few months ago, and was pleasantly surprised. The arcade era has been dead for so long that I’m shocked when I see something great like this.

    I had to stick with the ’89 Batmobile. Nothing else seems quite right to me, and it’ll always be my favorite of all the different incarnations.

    • http://www.lazygamer.net/ The D

      The 89 will always be the best. ALWAYS.

      • https://www.facebook.com/TheGamingAlcoholic The Gaming Alcoholic

        There is quite a bit about the 1989 Batman that will always be the best. ALWAYS.

  • Sk3tz0

    I’m gonna make my own Arcade with Blackjack and Hookers..

  • zathango

    I was lucky enough to get to play this. It’s in the old-timey arcade at Universal Studios Orlando. It is AWESOME. I lost a lot of money that day.

  • Muse Tarekegn

    “I have no idea where this Batman game came from”

    Isn’t it from “Specular Gaming” or does it not matter, or am I missing the point?

  • Kurt Lennon

    I played this game in Atlanta at Dave and Busters

  • http://www.friv2ol.com/ Ngoc Anh

    I like it.I want to experience it.

    Relax with the entertainment you here okay.

    Friv 2

    Thank you. Wish you a very effective working days.