If political parties were video games
Wednesday is Election Day in South Africa. I expect all of you to go and vote – I’d do it if I were allowed to. Damn disenfranchised foreigner! Who will you vote for? Well, we’ll help you decide with this handy comparison – find your favourite game and vote for that party. No, wait, don’t!
Realistically, we know all political parties are actually Fable – tons of big promises made, but delivery falls below expectations. Of course it’s still important to make your voice heard. So, show your support.
ANC = Final Fantasy
Much like Final Fantasy, the ANC has a long legacy. However, while its size and history ensure that it still gets tons of support, most people have no idea what’s going on anymore. For those who were a part of the party from the start, they struggle to see the flaws and how the party has changed. Unlikely to attract any new voters, but who needs to when they have such loyal fans who keep coming back for more.
DA = Dark Souls
Sound and well designed, everyone around you is playing it. Of course, it has a really high learning curve and is completely unforgiving if you don’t do what you’re supposed to. You know you should enjoy it, but you’re not quite sure if you do. That said, if you push through your initial reluctance, you might great triumph – or so you’ve been told.
IFP = Sonic
Huge back in the day, they have fizzled into relative obscurity. When they do get attention, it’s not the way they used to. Sonic seems to have lost any Goodwill people had towards the franchise.
COPE = Duke Nukem Forever
Announced with great expectations, we all waited to see what they could do. Years later, all we’re left with is disappointment. Seems we’re all out of bubblegum.
Agang SA = Indie Hipster Twaddle
Occasionally making news for being "different" or "unique" or showing great potential, their expectations are low for this election. Perhaps they need to get picked up by a larger platform to show off their true potential. PS, expect some new VITAlity coming soon.
EFF = Kingdom Hearts
Has everything required to be a great party, if only it wasn’t filled with cartoon characters. People may say you’re Goofy to like them, but perhaps you’re focusing on their core offering.
ACDP = Devil May Cry
Plenty of great ideas and solid policies. Unfortunately, it’s completely overshadowed by being way too religious.
FF = Dota 2
Those in it think it’s the best, while everyone from the outside just stares with disbelief. Filled with farmers looking to get ahead as they strive for the Ultimate BKB.
UDM = Words with Friends
Having lost half their IPO value, at least they’re really big and social, right? Maybe you want to like them on Facebook? Oh please, that’s so 2009.
The National Party = Star Wars 1313