International loony bin and protein starved maniac organisation PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, are no strangers to attention-grabbing headlines. In the past, they’ve disrupted events across the globe over animal rights, testing and abuse, taking on gaming as well. Italian Plumber franchise Super Mario was at the end of that misplaced rage a while back, for wearing a fashionable Tanooki fur suit, and now, PETA is going after Pokémon.
PETA has created a new parody game with which to draw attention to themselves, and later to the actual issue that they’re campaigning about, as they believe that Pokémon is nothing more than an animal slavery simulator that allows young players to force their captured creatures into dangerous cockfights. Damn, they might actually have a point there.
But how else will I get my Magikarp to evolve, other than to put it in a match with overpowered Pikachus? Splash away you pathetic bastard! SPLASH! YOUR MASTER COMMANDS IT! Anyhoo, hit this link, and you’ll get a chance to play Pokemon Black and Blue, which has an opening dialogue that states;
Generations of children were growing up believing that Pokémon exist for no other reasons than to be used and abused by humans…
So, those digital creatures which are merely lines of code with set commands exist only to be used and abused? Scandalous! Choosing to play puts you in the paws of a beaten and battered Pickachu, as he exacts bloody revenge on a series of alcoholic and violent human beings.
Because remember kids, violence against humans is OK, and even better when an animal does it. Man, I can’t wait to see the PETA version of Angry Birds.