Home Gaming Explore a gluten-filled existence in I am Bread

Explore a gluten-filled existence in I am Bread

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I AM BREAD

Gaming has certainly evolved over the past few years. Better visuals, smarter AI, unique gameplay mechanics… what haven’t gaming developers explored or done yet? The life of a slice of bread apparently. The creators of Surgeon Simulator have been hard at work on a title called I am Bread, and it’s hitting Steam Early Access tomorrow.

Here’s the latest gameplay video (via PC Gamer)

(Vidme Link)

Interested? If you said no, I’m just going to close my eyes, walk away, and come back later. My brain refuses to compute such a response. This game looks absolutely ludicrous, but I feel that I need to play it. NEED TO!

What content will you get to mess around with? Here’s what the developers have to say:

“When we release the game for people to play, the game will work and be fun and playable, but won’t feature all of the levels that we’re planning to include in the game. Because of this, the game’s story won’t be completely finished. It will also need a little bit of spit and polish, and there may be a bug or two to deal with. There are a few Unity 5 issues (a little crash here and there) that we’re trying to iron out at the moment too.”

Here are the key features you can look forward to:

  • Embark on an epic journey around The House – you will traverse the wondrous and deadly realms of The Kitchen and The Lounge before confronting the terrifying ordeals of The Bedroom and The Bathroom.
  • Almost a hundred items for your bread to interact with, get messy, or toast yourself with.
  • A clever, witty story that never really explains exactly why a piece of bread is moving around someone’s house!

It’s like they read my mind and all the questions it has. Why on earth is that lonely piece of bread roaming the house? What dangers lurk in the bedroom and bathroom? Will we ever get to go outside? Hopefully all these and more will be answered!

You can access the game early on Steam starting tomorrow, the 3rd of December. I can’t find anything on how much it’ll cost, but I can’t imagine it being too expensive.

Are you looking forward to this title? Leave your comments (and outrage if applicable) below!

Last Updated: December 2, 2014

99 Comments

  1. Kromas, Guardian of Cenarius

    December 2, 2014 at 13:02

    Call me when they create The Baconing!

    Reply

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      December 2, 2014 at 13:07

      Deathspank has you covered – The Baconing is on Steam now 😉

      Reply

      • Kromas, Guardian of Cenarius

        December 2, 2014 at 13:11

        Forgot about that one yeah. Still would like to be bacon. Suppose if we wait long enough it will be added to Goat simulator.

        Reply

      • Sageville

        December 2, 2014 at 13:16

        Whats the Bacon AI like?

        Reply

        • ToshZA

          December 2, 2014 at 13:17

          It’s a little salty. :/

          Reply

          • Corrie

            December 2, 2014 at 13:31

            But looks ultra CRISP even at 900p

            So console gamers can’t complain hey

          • ToshZA

            December 2, 2014 at 13:31

            Did you say; crisp? Isn’t that the preferred form of bacon?

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            December 2, 2014 at 13:33

            Not to the bacon I would assume.

          • ToshZA

            December 2, 2014 at 13:34

            I think the bacon knows its final form.

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            December 2, 2014 at 13:35

            INMAHBELLYMON!

          • Corrie

            December 2, 2014 at 13:37

            The bacon got no choice, only to serve it’s master’s wim’s be it crispy or crackling

          • Captain JJ the fair

            December 2, 2014 at 13:38

            It’s a pig’s nightmare on this comment section right now.

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            December 2, 2014 at 13:41

            Would you say we’ve… made a pigs ear of it? 😀

          • Corrie

            December 2, 2014 at 13:52

            Har Har Har very funny

          • Corrie

            December 2, 2014 at 13:42

            Well the pig shouldn’t be reading LG as it is, it should be oinking and fornicating bringing delicious baby hams into this world

          • Captain JJ the fair

            December 2, 2014 at 13:43

            That is true. The lazy bastard. ;P

          • Corrie

            December 2, 2014 at 13:50

            Don’t you mean fat bastard :p

          • Captain JJ the fair

            December 2, 2014 at 13:52

            😀

          • Corrie

            December 2, 2014 at 13:53

            I want a new Austin Powers 🙁

          • Captain JJ the fair

            December 2, 2014 at 13:55

            At least you can rest knowing that it’s more likely there will be a new Austin Powers than Half Life 3.

          • Corrie

            December 2, 2014 at 14:00

            Austin Life 3 ? powered by Groovy Source 2 Baby?

          • Captain JJ the fair

            December 2, 2014 at 14:04

            Sounds about right.

          • Corrie

            December 2, 2014 at 14:11

            Staring Gabe Newell as Gaben Powers and the evil console manufacters as villains and Ubisoft as DR Unoplay

            Frikken CinamaticDRM sharks man

      • Mark Treloar

        December 2, 2014 at 13:39

        This is not Kosher.

        Reply

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          December 2, 2014 at 13:43

          But it’s an epic tale of Bacon’s tale of redemption, and the creation of Macon :/

          Reply

          • Captain JJ the fair

            December 2, 2014 at 13:43

            Macon sounds like the villain.

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            December 2, 2014 at 13:45

            SPOILER ALERT

          • Corrie

            December 2, 2014 at 13:53

            More like SIZZLE ALERT

  2. Hammersteyn

    December 2, 2014 at 13:08

    Racist! Why cant we pick brown bread?

    Reply

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      December 2, 2014 at 13:12

      Because wholewheat is too expensive to animate?

      Reply

      • Hammersteyn

        December 2, 2014 at 13:14

        No excuse, I want best of both worlds. They’re just “loafing” about

        Reply

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          December 2, 2014 at 13:15

          Will there be skins for the bread? Because real bread doesn’t have skin, so that would ruin my immersion in the narrative.

          Reply

          • Hammersteyn

            December 2, 2014 at 13:16

            What about crust, can we remove the crust?

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            December 2, 2014 at 13:17

            Only as a PC mod, master race eats bread without the crust after all. 😉

          • Hammersteyn

            December 2, 2014 at 13:22

            Ham it up why dont you, you like making me jelly

          • ToshZA

            December 2, 2014 at 13:23

            The cheese is spread thick on this one.

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            December 2, 2014 at 13:23

            I know, if it goes any further we’ll end up in a jam.

          • Corrie

            December 2, 2014 at 13:33

            Oh but it does spread further, so we’ll end up in a pickle

    • Captain JJ the fair

      December 2, 2014 at 13:26

      What about Croissants for snobs?

      Reply

      • Quo Vadis?

        December 2, 2014 at 13:27

        how about…. no?

        Reply

        • Captain JJ the fair

          December 2, 2014 at 13:28

          but….but….

          Reply

          • Sageville

            December 2, 2014 at 13:29

            Bitches!

            Low GI Seed-bread!

            *Drops mic, walks out….

          • ToshZA

            December 2, 2014 at 13:30

            *nobody notices*

          • Captain JJ the fair

            December 2, 2014 at 13:33

            *pics up mic and starts singing Yesterday’s Hero*

          • Sageville

            December 2, 2014 at 13:37

            Don’t lie!

            I caught you be-staring my ass you dirty pervert!

          • ToshZA

            December 2, 2014 at 13:37

            Wha… What? O_O You saw tha… I mean.

            NO I WASN’T!!!

          • Captain JJ the fair

            December 2, 2014 at 13:38

            Tosh does that, you get used to it.

          • Sageville

            December 2, 2014 at 14:08

            You never look at my ass any more and that makes me sad….

          • Captain JJ the fair

            December 2, 2014 at 14:13

            Rince doesn’t like it. He gets jealous.

          • Sageville

            December 2, 2014 at 14:42

            Yeah, after seeing his, no wonder your looking around….

          • Quo Vadis?

            December 2, 2014 at 13:30

            because bread, no frog loaf. LOL

          • ToshZA

            December 2, 2014 at 13:30

            Because you know I’m all about that bread, bout that bread, no wholewheat. *sings*

          • Quo Vadis?

            December 2, 2014 at 13:32

            if I were an idol judge, you’d totally win.

          • ToshZA

            December 2, 2014 at 13:33

            Good thing you’re not – I can’t sing for shit XD

          • Sageville

            December 2, 2014 at 13:39

            Gawd, now that song has change forever!….. in my head…

          • Captain JJ the fair

            December 2, 2014 at 13:32

            lol

  3. Alien Emperor Trevor

    December 2, 2014 at 13:09

    Spoiler alert – the epic bread journey ends in the bathroom and it’s dreaded vortex of despair.

    Reply

    • Captain JJ the fair

      December 2, 2014 at 13:28

      Can you toast yourself?

      Reply

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        December 2, 2014 at 13:31

        Give me a bottle of brandy & I’ll get beyond toasted.

        Reply

        • Captain JJ the fair

          December 2, 2014 at 13:34

          I think somewhere along the line there you got sidetracked.

          Reply

  4. Mark Vincer

    December 2, 2014 at 13:12

    I don’t expect this game will make much dough

    Reply

  5. Norm (@e3zype3zy)

    December 2, 2014 at 13:15

    When your slice of bread loses at Jenga…

    Reply

  6. Alien Emperor Trevor

    December 2, 2014 at 13:16

    They should make it an RPG. Then the type of bread you select is your class & gets certain advantages. Like rye is good at catching.

    Reply

  7. Hammersteyn

    December 2, 2014 at 13:19

    I AM BROOD

    Reply

    • Sageville

      December 2, 2014 at 13:20

      LOL!

      Seriously, Dood, no.

      Reply

  8. Hammersteyn

    December 2, 2014 at 13:22

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      December 2, 2014 at 13:23

      A cat mount, SWEET!

      Reply

      • Corrie

        December 2, 2014 at 13:35

        More like a loaf of cat

        mmmm buttered cat…I mean toast, Toast

        Reply

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          December 2, 2014 at 13:36

          Still a better singer than Meatloaf.

          Reply

          • Captain JJ the fair

            December 2, 2014 at 13:36

            Take that back

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            December 2, 2014 at 13:39

          • Captain JJ the fair

            December 2, 2014 at 13:41

            I didn’t know you were in a boy band? Wow…I guess.

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            December 2, 2014 at 13:47

            I was a boy once, then I was banned. That’s life :/

          • Captain JJ the fair

            December 2, 2014 at 13:48

            Apparently if you can grow a beard they fire you.

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            December 2, 2014 at 13:50

            Explains why Rince is still in one.

          • Captain JJ the fair

            December 2, 2014 at 13:51

            Oh snap

          • Corrie

            December 2, 2014 at 13:40

            He can’t, he burnt it to the point of no return

            Guess it’s chinese food tonight

        • ToshZA

          December 2, 2014 at 13:37

          Inbread animals. Just like the rednecks, only fluffier. Sometimes.

          Reply

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            December 2, 2014 at 13:38

            Turkey fights the power, gets bread stuffing.

          • Corrie

            December 2, 2014 at 13:38

            Just spread some black cat on it :p

          • ToshZA

            December 2, 2014 at 13:38

            Hey that’s racist~!

          • Captain JJ the fair

            December 2, 2014 at 13:44

            Could’ve been way worse, it could’ve been a French loaf.

          • Corrie

            December 2, 2014 at 13:45

            Oh please they can go baguette themselves
            :p:p:p

          • Corrie

            December 2, 2014 at 13:45

            Damnit now that you said I can’t say anything since it’ll sound bad

            You buttered not do that again or else you’ll get mayo for christams

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            December 2, 2014 at 13:40

            The one time some people like nuts in butter on their bread.

          • Corrie

            December 2, 2014 at 13:50

            Wait! people don’t like nuts on their food

          • Captain JJ the fair

            December 2, 2014 at 13:51

            No, you’re misunderstanding. It’s that people don’t like nuts like Trevor NEAR their food.

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            December 2, 2014 at 13:54

            Only because they labour under the delusion that meat must be raw.

          • Quo Vadis?

            December 2, 2014 at 14:47

            how do you eat your meat then? If it has horns and four hooves, just skin it, and smack it on my plate, a-thank you very much!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            December 2, 2014 at 15:21

            Cooked in the fire in which I was forged!

          • Quo Vadis?

            December 2, 2014 at 15:25

            uh, hades? tartarus? hell? the sun? lmao

          • Corrie

            December 2, 2014 at 13:58

            Ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh now it makes sense.

    • Sageville

      December 2, 2014 at 13:47

      Micro-transactions….

      Reply

      • Hammersteyn

        December 2, 2014 at 14:03

        hahahaha

        Reply

  9. Norm (@e3zype3zy)

    December 2, 2014 at 13:23

    You can access the game early on Steam
    starting tomorrow, the 3rd of December. I can’t find anything on how
    much it’ll cost, but I can’t imagine it being too expensive.

    R8.99 is it is the Sasko edition.

    Reply

  10. Captain JJ the fair

    December 2, 2014 at 13:25

    This looks insane. I could waste some good time on this.
    Strangest game I’ve ever seen on Steam is Mount Your Friends. Yea.

    Reply

  11. Nikola

    December 2, 2014 at 13:49

    come on now this is getting ridcolous…

    Reply

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