Experience a game of Evolve from all 5 sides

Review: Mario Golf: World Tour

In Other News – 24 April 2014

The Elder Scrolls Online review

Dungeons and Dragons will destroy your life

DND

Look at those damn Satan-worshippers. Huddled around a desk, having fun and rolling d-20 die that were blessed by Beezlebub himself I reckon. Damn kids! They should be in a church! The kind where Pat Robertson can milk ‘em like a Capcom franchise!

That’s the view of the original crazy evangelist Pat Robertson, according to this CBS clip via Destructoid. According to the diminished faculties of Robertson, Dungeons and Dragons is a game that he has no idea about whatsoever, but he does know that it’s a game that has “literally destroyed peoples lives”.

Well, kinda. I should have known that my level 2 bard was no match for that level Omega World-Smasher from the ninth ring of the Screaming Cascade. Damn, I miss that character of mine. Oh, and don’t worry. I’m not going militaristic atheist over here.

I just have a problem with an evangelist that has defrauded people with everything from faith healing to monthly tithes, while labelling non-Christians and the Scottish as devil-worshippers, having something to say about some desktop role-playing fun.

Tags: , , , ,

Author:Darryn Bonthuys

Because he's the writer that Lazygamer deserves, but not the one it actually needs right now. So we'll hunt him. Because he can't take it. Because he's not a hero. He's a loud-mouthed journalist, a watchful procrastinator. A dork knight.

  • Admiral Chief Erwin

    the facepalm is strong here

    • HvR

      Facepalm is from the DEVILS!!!!

      • Deon Steyn

        So is science fiction, Picard is the devil.

        • Brady miaau

          Or at the very least the top lieutenant, yeah. That’s this ticket. Smug bastard, has to be, surely.

    • Brady miaau

      Yeah, but if D&D is devils work, how much more so Star Trek?

      Gene Roddenbury vision of a united globe, with no racism and so forth. Hah, what a fool!

      (that was Sarcasm in case I get flamed)

      • Admiral Chief Erwin

        Plus you get to bed green alien wimmin’

        • Brady miaau

          point.

          And yeoman, for some reason. Kirk was such a cad, really.

  • HvR

    D&D is the DEVIL!!
    CoD is the DEVIL!!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/marius.nell.7 Marius Nell

      If D&D is the devil then CoD is the one in Hell that’s screwing the devil (ike Saddam from South Park)

  • Rincethis: Spellalicious

    But the Scottish ARE devil worshipers, right?

    • Andre116

      Cross dressing devil worshipers my friend…cross dressing devil worshipers.

      • Rincethis: Spellalicious

        Ahh! Yes, that’s the one!

        • http://twitter.com/Technikyle TechniKyle

          I actually own a kilt…

          • Rincethis: Spellalicious

            I think I am supposed to too… We have our own tartan, the Mc Hann colours or something…

          • Steve0064

            Kilts are expensive, but they are guaranteed to get the attention of the ladies. Guaranteed. Get used to wearing no undies, learn to mimic a Highland accent, and you’re golden.

        • Andre116

          I actually miss the satan/music scare of the 80′s and the 90′s. These days I don’t know what music to listen to. :(

          • Rincethis: Spellalicious

            Haha! Yeah, I miss those looks from my parents when I had Pantera on…

    • Deon Steyn

      And the Irish.

      • Rincethis: Spellalicious

        Don’t go there man, don’t go there. *Shudders…

        • Deon Steyn

          Leprechauns,I’m just saying.

          • Rincethis: Spellalicious

            0_O

      • Brady miaau

        um. Scotch?

    • Trevor Davies

      But we forgive them for that because whiskey

      • Deon Steyn

        We forgive the Irish because Guinness

      • Rincethis: Spellalicious

        This is true. Some things need to slide.

      • Anon A Mouse

        Scottish whisky is without the “e”. All the watered down stuff is with the “e”.

        • Brady miaau

          Without the e is not the real deal, in my book. Is bourbon, different beast entirely.

      • Brady miaau

        Hell yeah. Scotch is awesome. There the Scots are awesome. QED

      • Steve0064

        I’ll drink to that.

    • http://twitter.com/Darrangedd Darryn Bonthuys

      The Scottish and religion are natural enemies! Like the Irish and Scots! Like the Japanese and Scots! Like the French and Scots! Like the Scots and Scots! Damn Scots, they ruined Scotland!

      • Rincethis: Spellalicious

        Hahahha! Nice.

    • Unavengedavo

      Only devil worshipers can invent a sport like golf!

      • http://www.facebook.com/marius.nell.7 Marius Nell

        and Haggis

      • Rincethis: Spellalicious

        You know it!

  • GarethV

    But…but…but I like DND. Make the bad man stop :’(
    Fiction vs reality vs religion – keep them separate and we can all get along fine.

    • Deon Steyn

      LOL D&D…

  • http://twitter.com/Technikyle TechniKyle

    Roll Roll Roll you dice,
    And you’re prayin to the devil,
    merrily merrily merrily merrily
    Pat likes it in the ass…

    • Trevor Davies

      Listen to that backwards & you’ll be shocked by the evil messages!

      • Admiral Chief Erwin

        I’m just reading it forward and already my face is all O_O

        • http://twitter.com/Technikyle TechniKyle

          Sorry I got bored and I had nursery rhymes in my head at the time.

          • Admiral Chief Erwin

            Jingle Bells, Darryn smells,
            Geoff is finally asleep.
            Yolanda’s having her baby soon,
            and Gavin acts all deep.

  • Rincethis: Spellalicious

    Man, I miss AD&D. I remember doing a charity event in England, a 72 hours straight session as Dungeon Master, man, after that I think I was the devil, the players certainly thought so :)

    • Brady miaau

      Sounds awesome. Ah, for the old days!

      Some of my friends tried this over skype video, but I do not think it worked as well as all that.

  • Trevor Davies

    My sister belonged to some crazy cult & used to bring home their little pamphlets – they were like little comic books about the evils of DnD, games, rock music, etc. They were quite funny & made me laugh, but when I told her that she stopped bring them. Very uncharitable I thought.

  • Deon Steyn

    Clearly he is confused. WOW destroys lives not D&D. But he he seems legit for a guy that predicted the world would end in 1992 and he has a nice Wiki section too.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pat_Robertson_controversies

    • Maksim80

      Just went to have a look on the Wiki section….Oh my fucking word… this ‘Pat’ has no grip on reality… seems us ‘gays’ are responsible for all the bad shit happening all over the world!! … Well, I suppose my best friend’s words were true: “never be nasty to a ‘gay’ or a ‘nerd’… because someday, you’ll report to them…”

      • RitterBruder

        You see the funny thing is people like this Pat-o-hairy guy is a manipulator ! he reads something and the bible and goes: hmm I can destroy peoples live with this !! He takes scriptures in the bible and troughs it out of context just so he can prove his point ! and his point is the correct one ! its the same thing with people that hates gays and blah blah blah !! If you read the bible in context and use the older bibles that’s very close to the Greek translation you will find that it does not mention the word homosexuality ! But people will you anything to destroy even if that is what the writer did not intend to do ! I just want to leave you with 2 quotes from the movie kingdom of heaven !

        *There is so much done in Christendom of which Christ would be incapable.

        *By the word religion I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the will of God. I’ve seen too much religion in the eyes of too many murderers. Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness. What you decide to do every day will make you a good man…or not.

        I am Christian and proud of it but people like that makes me sick

  • http://twitter.com/Lolita_za Yolanda Green

    Dear Old People
    Please stay away from anything video games if you are not a gamer. You clearly have no understanding of it.
    Kind Regards
    The rest of the world.

    • Deon Steyn

      Or we will start trolling bridge games and handicap parking spaces! Oh and skate on the sidewalks. (Note to self learn to skate)

      • http://twitter.com/Lolita_za Yolanda Green

        And boycott Bingo games, because gambling is the Devil!

    • Rincethis: Spellalicious

      Hehe. I remember my mother’s friend doing an ‘intervention’ to save my soul. She was hecticly Christian, and said my soul would burn in the eternal fires of hell if I carried on pretending I was an Elven Bladesinger. Man, to have that on video…

      • http://twitter.com/Lolita_za Yolanda Green

        :S I have no words.

      • HvR

        My mother also had a over the top “Baptiste Sekte Antie” friend who did the same thing (think I was 14/15 at the time). Luckily my father told me not to take crap from the crazy lady so from the intervention point onwards I always talked in my “Batman voice” when she was around.

        • Rincethis: Spellalicious

          Hahaha! I should have tried that too. She literally sat me down and said ‘I am doing this to help you walk the path of light, and not dark’. I really just wanted to roll a D-4 and cast a few magic missiles her way. Alas, when I did, I looked foolish.

          • Trevor Davies

            Is that because you rolled a 1?

        • HvR

          My brother dropped the mother of all farts (one of his useful life skills I might add) when she told him that the music he is listening is causing evil spirits to go into his soul.

    • Admiral Chief Erwin

      Kind regards?
      KIND REGARDS?
      More like no regards

  • http://twitter.com/SaveTheQueenIX umar bastra

    I think Pat will have an aneurysm If he should ever play a Shin Megami Tensei game. I think Nocturne might make him think we’re all devil worshippers … well I did choose Lucifer’s path in the game lol …. does that mean I like the Devil ? … no, I just want the true ending to the game :P

  • DarthofZA

    Thats a bit of a generalisation. I mean, 4th Edition might of split gaming groups with some people not liking its new “Board Game” like mechanics, and wanting to keep playing 3rd Edition. But I don’t think its fair to say their lives were ruined or destroyed. I still talk to gamers who didn’t want to make the switch with me to 4th Edition. Besides, it looks like D&D will rebuild their lives when they attempt to unite 3rd Edition and 4th Edition players with 5th Edition.

    • Brady miaau

      Yeah, but the board game market is quite big, it seems.

      But I agree with dilution of rules seems a bit of a cop out.

  • Ultimo_Cleric_N7

    This guy……..He gives Christians a bad rep. REALLY. I wish him and the Roman Catholic Priests who enjoy kiddy fiddling could all be placed in a rocket and launched into space, never to be seen again.
    IT REALLY ANNOYS ME to think so many good people on this site think that this is what Christian people are like. Seriously guys, please ignore this clown and look at the sincere, good people who give their lives for others. THOSE are Christians. Yes, they want to tell you about Christ and may annoy you, but they do it because they care. And when you say ‘no thanks’, they should leave it then and there.
    Thats how I feel about this….

    • Admiral Chief Erwin

      Amen
      (no pun or joke intended)

      • Ultimo_Cleric_N7

        :-) Amen Indeed Chief.

        • Admiral Chief Erwin

          I also believe to judge people on how they act, not how they say they are. You get many people saying they are, but are in fact the same or worse of than the “sinners”

          • Ultimo_Cleric_N7

            Ya dude, some ‘Christians’ need a roundhouse kick to the face.

          • Twakkie

            Precisely my point of view as well and is it not Willem Wikkelspies that said: “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet;”. If you walk is not the same as your talk, rather then be quite.

          • Admiral Chief Erwin

            quite what?

            Or doth thee meaneth QUIET?

            :P

          • Twakkie

            You spell Nazi! :)

          • Admiral Chief Erwin

            *spelling :P

          • Twakkie

            Nooooooo! Go away Erwin! :)
            Thou has no longer any quarrel with me, for thee as shown my English to be….. failing in phrase structure and meaning!

          • Admiral Chief Erwin

            *hath
            *hath

            :P

          • Twakkie

            RAWR!!!! *Rage Quite* :)

          • Admiral Chief Erwin

            *RAWWWR
            *QUIT

          • Twakkie

            Sigh… I give up. You Er-win.

          • Admiral Chief Erwin

            I spell Nazi.
            N
            A
            Z
            I

            I spell for thee

    • Twakkie

      Agree completely, people like this really drives people more away from Christianity than anything else.

    • CaptainNemo42

      Well said. But it is like that with everything. I am a boertjie, but that doesn’t mean I agree at all with what the Boermag does, or did. They give me a bad name.

    • RobC

      They do it because they care?? Because they are delusional more like

  • Brady miaau

    I am a community leader in my church. I was a youth leader.

    I played AD&D until I was 20 with my friends. I still play games like Baldurs Gate, Neverwinter nights and so forth (just bought Neverwinter nights 2 and all expansions, never played them)

    I am sick of this crap, I was called a satanist by a visiting preacher when I was a teenager: because I played role playing games. Bastard. That pissed me off. And that was twenty years ago. Still a bit angry.

  • http://twitter.com/rgtechnologies Rudi van der Walt

    That guy deserves a Melf’s Acid Arrow up the arse……….

    • Brady miaau

      Awesome.

      But rather Magic Missile (I think), Melf’s arrow must be aimed by Wizard, using wizard Thaco score (in some editions at least!

      • Wtf101

        Hey! I just remembered reading a D&D comic years ago (as in 1980-something) , and this old wizard yelling “Magic Missile!” Thanks for the flashback!

  • http://www.facebook.com/marius.nell.7 Marius Nell

    Dear Idiot is it wrong to be baptized in Bioshock Infinite? if not F@*# you the game is amazing. AND ITS CALLED A GAME!

  • http://twitter.com/MatthewFig Matthew Figueira

    LOL. That is all.

  • Wtf101

    I think we need to introduce this preacher to Doom.

    Let Sir Terry Pratchett explain: “Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil… prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon…

  • http://www.facebook.com/daryl.eksteen Daryl Eksteen

    Happy clappers at it again.

  • http://www.facebook.com/daryl.eksteen Daryl Eksteen

    Destroying people’s lives like Priests molesting children or how religion devalues women and equality?

  • http://twitter.com/WRG_AlwynVenter Alwyn Venter

    Another topic that can be discussed for hours! I am glad this was posted. It just shows us how disillusioned some people are. I think there are some really good comments in the thread below which I agree with.

    I have said this many times… The problem does not lie with the video game but the upbringing and discipline applied while raising the child. If you don’t give them love and attention, they are going to look for it elsewhere. If you give them what they need (not always want), I think it opens a whole new avenue to teach your child the rights and wrongs and then let them decide which avenue to take. If the foundation is laid strongly, you don’t need to worry. If you see them deviate, well, punish them.

    Yes, there might be wrong elements depicted in some video games but in how many video games do we see the bad guys win? Basic principles in most video games are still fine and by the way… we do this for fun! Why does the world not see this? Goodness I am tired of people blaming gaming for problems that are created by parents and poor discipline / parenting.

    Long live gaming, gamers, D&D, COD, Starcraft, Mario & Luigi, Lazygamer…etc. etc….

  • TriangularRoom

    I guess it’s a good thing I play Pathfinder instead of D&D then?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Paul-Fouche/627282362 Paul Fouche

    i just burst out laughing whahahah!! “its almost demonic” clearly he has never seen a movie about exorcism its not like we spaz out and run on all fours ( most of us , some of us have temper problems) when we lose a character or whatever , does the dice control your mind? WHAHa whats next. eating popcorn is forbidden fruit ?

Must Read

FIFA 14 Brazil World Cup Edition–Reviewed

We review the latest world cup title from EA Sports and unfortunately ...

Don Bradman Cricket 14 Review

Looking for a digital cricket experience? Don Bradman Cricket could be the ...

Review: FTL: Advanced Edition

It's more FTL! That means more good!

Diablo 3: Reaper of Souls Review – Don’t fear the reaper

Reaper of Souls takes what you hated about Diablo III, fixes them, ...

Goat Simulator Review

Is Goat Simulator a must-buy? Or a simple joke gone too far?

Towerfall: Ascension review – Archery Rivals

Towerfall: Ascension is some of the bst multiplayer fun to be had ...