Yes that previous story about the Asteroids movie wasn’t in fact a bizarrely late April Fools and now the director has been speaking to IGN about the plot…
The films producer, Lornezo di Bonaventura explains how the upcoming film (apparently it’s more than an idea now) will focus on two brothers who must have a “seminal experience” to understand their place in life while floating amongst a bunch of rocks in space.
Quick google for the word Seminal…
“of, relating to, or consisting of seed or semen”
… what… so 2 brothers are going to have a seminal experience. I can’t resist, maybe it should have been called ass-teroids.
Oh wait it has a second meaning
“containing or contributing the seeds of later development”
Oh god it’s going to be a sequel quickly followed by Asteroids 2: The return of the rocks.
Okay maybe I should stop trying to figure this out and just see what the producer has to say, he goes on to explain that he is interested in the Asteroids experience because it is going to be an action packed affair with
“some guys in spaceships blowing stuff up”
thrilling, he also thinks it is going to tell moviegoers
“I was attracted to Asteroids, plain and simple, because I think what it tells you is that there’s going to be this big thing in space.”
So yeah I have to admit I am really excited about this, I honestly cannot see how they are going to turn Asteroids into a real movie and seeing as I love bad movies I think I am going to love this one.
However if Paramount authorise this movie I would wager that the two brothers will turn into a man and a woman with a conflicting past who will work out their issues in the vast confines of space while displaying a lot of nudity to keep the gamers happy.
I'm cranky, arrogant and ever so amazingly annoying but when you get to know me you will also realise I'm honest and incredibly good at describing myself... now pass me that beer