Are you playing Cookie Clicker? 
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Zoe Hawkins
September 26, 2013 at 6:00 pm

Cookies

Cookie Clicker should actually be called Cookie Heroin. I’ve been playing for days, and I can’t get enough. But to tell you why, well, that’s another story all together.

Cookie Clicker is a browser game, and you can go start playing here. Go on, click through, I dare you.

I found out about it because of twitter. I believe it was Notch who claimed it was his most fulfilling gaming experience in the last month, and I had to see more. I have to say, I play it constantly. In fact, I’m playing it right now.

Screen Shot 2013 09 26 at 1 29 41 PM

It all starts with that first click. You baked a cookie. Aw, that’s cute. You even get an achievement. Click click click. Now you can buy a cursor that will click for you every ten seconds. Oh, or a grandma that will bake cookies for you. That said, I couldn’t stop clicking at this point. Bake bake bake.

So what happens? Well, small comments pop up. Your cookies become popular and your corporation grows. Soon, you don’t need to click at all to be successful – you have grandmas and cursors and cookie farms for that. This is when the idle greed kicks in. Wander off to other websites with Cookie Clicker in the background – upon your return you can get new upgrades. Maybe be benevolent and give that cookie a few clicks. Okay, just one more.

Screen Shot 2013 09 26 at 1 32 50 PM

Eventually, the comments get a bit more disconcerting. Your cookie mines are causing earthquakes, and your cookie factories are forcing the elderly into slave labour. But, how can you stop? Even when my cookies became sentient, I had to keep clicking. I’m still clicking. Right now. I can’t stop. I think the cookies are taking over.

Screen Shot 2013 09 26 at 1 31 38 PM

Truly, Cookie Clicker is an addictive game that actually plays on your emotions and greed, while still being perfect for idle game play. I dare you to give it a try and not get hooked. And then come tell me what your CPS is – As I write this my CPS (Cookies per second, for those of you who aren’t playing) is 242,404,271.1; that’s right, millions of cookies per second. Also, my universe is full of cookies and I’m getting worried about restless grandmas. How about you?

Wielding my lasso of truth, I am the combination of nerd passion and grammar nazi. I delve into all things awesome and geek-tastic. I believe people should stop defining themselves and just enjoy playing games, so let's get on with it!

  • Guest

    Dammit Zoe. I hate you. I actually had some work to finish.
    PS: You owe me a new mouse ;)

    • Eben Haezer

      I think I will bust my mouse until I download FastClicker.
      Enjoy 84 clicks/second!

  • bandit766

    Fun game! Thanks Zoe :)

  • Mariah

    I just started maybe an hour ago and my current CPS right now is 2,179.8. Whoops I just bought a shipment now it’s 2,269.8. ;)

  • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

    No no no! This is going to be like that bloody candy game isn’t it? No no no. Not falling for this again. Will not give up my freedom like that again… Must…. resist…..

    • Her Highness the Hipster

      click. click. click

      • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

        STOP IT!

      • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

        Darnit. I started :(

    • Kermit Johnson

      That candy game is 10x better than that stupid clicking game! Check out my review by searching Foodperson at YouTube.

  • Alien Emperor Trevor

    No I’m not playing this. #foreverSP :/

  • Drew Thedaker

    Just wait until the Grandmapocalypse…..

  • Hammersteyn

    Started playing last night. Up to 8,300,000 at the moment. That frenzy cookie that increases production for 77 seconds is a big help.

    • Her Highness the Hipster

      i’ve got a golden coooookie!

      • Hammersteyn

        Sorry, you’re right it’s called golden cookies.

  • Methias

    Just wait until you start spending trillions of cookies… its bad, so so bad

  • Hammersteyn

    It’s like they turned the concept of bubble wrap into a game. The bakers man can!

    • Umar Jaeger
      • Hammersteyn

        Watched a bit, didn’t want to see it all. This is gonna be awesome!

        • Umar Jaeger

          Lol looks damn awesome, I also stopped…CAN’T WAIT

  • Umar Jaeger

    Damn you zoe

  • That Happy Twit

    Oh snap, now I am playing it.

    • Umar Jaeger

      And you’re addicted just like me :(

      • That Happy Twit

        Maybe I will leave the cookies going on my work PC over the weekend. :/

  • Emm

    dammit Zoe #$%#$%@# how am I going to work now

    • Her Highness the Hipster

      it is work! you’re building an empire

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        That’s not how you do it. It’s by crushing your enemies, seeing them driven before you & hearings the lamentation of their women.

      • Brady miaau

        Yeah, wrong sort of empire

      • Emm

        In the case I need to hire a couple of girl scouts to sell these cookies because my boss is going to cancel my pay cheque

  • Brady miaau

    What did you do?

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  • Brady miaau

    Strategies:

    1. Do you bother rapidly clicking? I did to start off with, but I am not a hands off owner, as far as possible
    2. Are farms the best to get initially because of the 2 upgrades that double farm efficiency?
    3. Is bigger better, i.e. Mines before factories?
    4. What is the critical mass point of each level, i.e. at what does it stop being of maximum benefit to buy, say, a farm, over a mine?

    Just some thoughts.

    • Her Highness the Hipster

      never underestimate the grandmas. also, there are achievements for getting certain numbers of farms, factories, etc.
      at a certain point, i stopped clicking the cookie unless i got a golden cookie – then the multiplier effects are worthwhile.

  • SilentMaster

    just bought myself million fingers and host factories and portals, damn i hate this game now because i cant stop :(

  • TiMsTeR1033

    Awesome! thanks for the link Zoe, I shall try my hand at this :)

  • UltimateNinjaPandaDudeGuy

    Opened it up… Click like 500 times and closed it again…

    Cookie clicker not even once… Okay no more than 500 times

  • http://tumblr.exhibeo.com/ Axon1988

    My grannies have mutated to such an extend… the game has become scary. With grannies everywhere. Looking at me with bloody glowing eyes. My milk is boiling red (I think it’s blood now) and the background is just scary old rotten grannies. WTF

    • Her Highness the Hipster

      but the greed! you can’t stop, can you?

      • http://tumblr.exhibeo.com/ Axon1988

        My grannies are freezing in streets and oozing sugary syrup! I’m generating almost a billion cookies every second… I don’t know what;s going on anymore!

  • Umar Jaeger

    Dafuq happened to my grannies???

    • Her Highness the Hipster

      have you tried selling one yet?

      • That Happy Twit

        HAHAHA @ Achievement title

      • Umar Jaeger

        Just wrong lol

  • CypherGate

    lol mad game. I been playing for 40mins now and im only on 184 000 cookies

  • DadGamer

    What’s next Zoe? You gonna hand out cigarettes to school kids?
    LOL, thanks. Love this digital crack :)

  • Jean Jordaan

    What did you do !!
    Years from now, while sitting under a bridge. Jobless , no food no money only a laptop, leaching WIFI from some poor fool with no password on their WIFI. We will think back to this day where it all started going wrong.
    All this while clicking and buying that additional granny..
    DAMN YOUUUUUUU!!!

    • That Happy Twit

      HAHA!

    • Emm

      Dont forget the power cord plugged directly into the lamp post after removing one of the covers

    • Jean Jordaan

      and Mad MAX driving around in this post apocalyptic world, with laptop on his lap clicking and building his granny army.

  • J-P Edwards

    Great way to click test my R.A.T.7 Contagion…Ill let you know how it goes…

  • skaapsker

    There it is.. Currently sitting at 3,711,425,603.2 CPS

  • HvR

    Dammit Zoe, you are pure evil.

    Oh well.

    Click my koekie Click my koekie snoekie……

  • Shaun Crosby

    I hate this game so much I can’t stop playing it.

    So bad that I actually clicked on the cookie in your screen shots….. Sigh.

  • Guest

    my CPS is 513 million clicks/second

  • Sargon

    The amount must increase exponentially as you play. In a weekend, I shall have matched your cookie per second score! :D

  • Bridget Blake Taylor

    16,991,910.684 cps

  • Severen

    My CPS right about now is 18,326,718,684.6

  • Kobus Nel

    Yup, I’m going to say it… D3 is a better click fest game than this shit. Seriously guys. There are way better games to spend our time on.

  • Scyer
  • Arian

    My cps is 131,603,666.4

  • Josh

    Hopefully im a candidate on your high score list. consider me a challenger!

  • Pixieboots101

    How about..

    My CPS is 34,325,627,399.7

    I think Im worst than you. :P

    • Deiran Coffman-Monk

      Look at me ahahaha

  • Br76

    I’m thinking about resetting for the fourth time.

  • Br76

    I just noticed that the farm message box was hiding some of my stats in the last screenshot.

  • Bob

    My CPS is 21,443,960,443.9 and I have been playing for about a month or so. Things get expensive.

  • Alex
  • Alexander Ya
  • leo

    it looks boring but wen u play it for like a min u carnt stop playing it. no joke

  • fluttershy

    my cps is so high its e+ i almost have 650 of every thing and almost achievements only 2 left idk why i play…

  • guest

    i get 327,661,121,102.5 cookies per second and have multiplyer:14,357%