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Rambo is coming to ruin your memories

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Rambo

There’s one game that Darryn’s most excited for this year, above pretty much all other games. We already know his taste in, well, just about everything is universally regarded as being terrible, but this really just cements it. He’s excited for the new Rambo game, despite all the audiovisual evidence that should convince him otherwise.

And there’s really nothing that does a better job of convincing you that Rambo: The Videogame will be absolutely terrible than the actual marketing material for the game. Here’s the game’s latest trailer, which shows the not-quite-AAA game in action.

Despite what you’ve just seen, the game’s producers are quite bullish about the game. they hope to bring the Rambo you know from 30 years ago, to life in this modern game, but keep that old-school legacy and heritage intact.

“We want Rambo The Video Game to give players the chance to take-on the classic scenes from the motion-picture trilogy through John Rambo’s eyes. And just as John Rambo was an expert infiltrator – not every mission will be based around pure shooting skills: silent bow takedowns and perfectly timed stealth (lethal or nonlethal) eliminations will be required too,”  Piotr Latocha – Producer at Teyon said on the PSBlog.

The gameplay system we have created combines the classic arcade-heritage of a rail-shooter with a contemporary graphics engine and all of the cover-taking, weapon-switching and super aggressive enemies possible on PS3. All of John Rambo’s trademark array of knives, SMGs, LMGS, Grenades and variety of arrow-tips will be on-hand for players to deploy within the game’s 16 Missions. It also supports the PlayStation Move controller so player’s can experience every trigger pull, grenade-lob, knife swipe and bow-pull in the most connected way possible.

Latocha also said, to gamers who complained that the game looks a little underdone, that they “are still in the final stage of polishing the game so the graphics will look a lot cleaner and smoother in the final product.”

I hope so, because that looks rather awful. It’a coming to PC, Xbox 360 and PS3 early this year.

Last Updated: January 13, 2014

131 Comments

  1. Alien Emperor Trevor

    January 13, 2014 at 08:39

    It’s nice they put the effort in to make that screenshot look realistic, but should have spent more time fixing the glass-like inhuman eyes of that (wo)mannequin. Surely they’ve saved enough to do that by not having to spend much time or money on the audio to make it sound just like Stallone – just feed it some chillis before recording & it’lll sound the same.

    Reply

  2. JJ's grand endeavour (John)

    January 13, 2014 at 08:41

    Darryn being nonchalant as usual there.

    Reply

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      January 13, 2014 at 08:45

      Dude! Good to meet you on Sat 😀

      Reply

      • JJ's grand endeavour (John)

        January 13, 2014 at 08:50

        Yea man. Was great fun. We were very kind to not destroy the console players with our death rays. We really could’ve made a difference in the world.

        Reply

        • VampyricSquirrel Monk

          January 13, 2014 at 08:52

          Some of those console gamers were gingers… you would have made a difference to the universe!!!

          Reply

          • JJ's grand endeavour (John)

            January 13, 2014 at 08:53

            LOL. With great power comes great responsibility.

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          January 13, 2014 at 09:03

          I was glad for the support, it can be difficult at times being the only one bringing a touch of class to proceedings.

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            January 13, 2014 at 09:03

            Touch of PC class >>>>> buckets of console class

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 13, 2014 at 09:11

            Was fun playing L4D2 with you, Gavin & whoever those other people were too!

            We got our asses kicked the second time around lol

          • JJ's grand endeavour (John)

            January 13, 2014 at 09:12

            I’m so disappointed I missed that. I blame Telkom

          • VampyricSquirrel Monk

            January 13, 2014 at 09:55

            So do I

          • JJ's grand endeavour (John)

            January 13, 2014 at 09:56

            Well, secretly I blame Tim. But just because I like to blame him for everything.

          • VampyricSquirrel Monk

            January 13, 2014 at 09:58

            We can always just blame Timkom… lol

            I blame slow download speeds… i.e. Tim or Timkom

          • TiMsTeR1033

            January 13, 2014 at 10:00

            Whenever there is a slow download or bad connection speed there is a Tim downloading something naughty on the other end! hahaha

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 13, 2014 at 10:04

            I thought Timkom was fast. At least, that’s what she said trollol!

          • VampyricSquirrel Monk

            January 13, 2014 at 10:04

            HAHAHAHA! You know Tim’s wife that well?

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            January 13, 2014 at 10:11

            TimKomTooSoon?

          • TiMsTeR1033

            January 13, 2014 at 09:12

            I wish I could of joined would of been a blast and would of killed you all..

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            January 13, 2014 at 09:13

            We were jamming co-op, so ja, would not have been appreciated

          • TiMsTeR1033

            January 13, 2014 at 09:14

            I thought you guys were jamming like 1 group humans other Zombies.. If co op I would of remembered the most important rule… Dont bother the witch!

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            January 13, 2014 at 09:15

            Man, Trev kept on wanting to hump her. Then we have to revive him every time!

          • TiMsTeR1033

            January 13, 2014 at 09:16

            Her crying gets to me!

          • JJ's grand endeavour (John)

            January 13, 2014 at 09:17

            Then you’re usually doing the wrong thing.
            Wait, are we talking about Left for Dead still?

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            January 13, 2014 at 09:17

            Hahahaha, boom!

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            January 13, 2014 at 09:17

            I remember experimenting with the one shot kill for the witch, so much win when I got it right

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 13, 2014 at 09:28

            lol. I thought we’re supposed to kill her. I only disturbed her accidentally once 😉

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            January 13, 2014 at 09:33

            Hehehe, I remember we were ALL very cautious the last time on Advanced mode

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 13, 2014 at 09:43

            I didn’t even notice. I did think it was a bit harder than the first game though heh. That gate… so much of death.

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            January 13, 2014 at 09:46

            Janee bliksem, I tried to push through the last time but fell near the end with no one to revive me

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 13, 2014 at 09:51

            The last time we tried it I was happily shooting away, next thing I see everyone else is down. Started reviving the bot that was right next to me & as I was less than a second away from finishing that the whole damn horde just piled onto me lol. NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo

          • JJ's grand endeavour (John)

            January 13, 2014 at 09:54

            We should play this sometime again. When I’m actually also able to. I missed out on too much!

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            January 13, 2014 at 10:02

            Good idea, once every fortnight!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 13, 2014 at 10:03

            I’d be more than happy. It was fun.

          • VampyricSquirrel Monk

            January 13, 2014 at 09:56

            The damn PC AI bitches when you shoot them… but if there’s a zombie and you’re between them and their target, they shoot the absolute crap out of you… bunch of idiots…

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            January 13, 2014 at 09:13

            LOL, it was set to advanced by mistake!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 13, 2014 at 09:15

            Seriously? Then we didn’t do too bad 😀

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            January 13, 2014 at 09:15

            I thought so too. 3 vs advanced horde? Not bad I say!

          • RinceThis2014

            January 13, 2014 at 09:40

            William will murder you for this…

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 13, 2014 at 09:41

            lol – I doubt it, I’m sure he feels the same way 😛

          • RinceThis2014

            January 13, 2014 at 09:44

            I meant for you saying ‘the only one’ when he is a real boy!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 13, 2014 at 09:49

            AT TIMES. no readee Engrish ;P

          • RinceThis2014

            January 13, 2014 at 09:57

            Haha! Why didn’t you come back with us on Sat? John came back and we watched a game doc.

          • JJ's grand endeavour (John)

            January 13, 2014 at 10:00

            Probably the smell. One can only handle so much of it.

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            January 13, 2014 at 10:01

            LOOOOOOOOOOOOL

          • RinceThis2014

            January 13, 2014 at 10:07

            Silence you! Just because no one commented on your eyeliner on Sat!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 13, 2014 at 10:09

            That’s what the beer was for.

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 13, 2014 at 10:02

            I thought you guys were all heading off to play GTA. I didn’t want to see what I’m missing lol.

          • RinceThis2014

            January 13, 2014 at 10:06

            Hehehe 🙂

        • RinceThis2014

          January 13, 2014 at 09:39

          You shut up you! Good seeing you again mate 🙂

          Reply

          • JJ's grand endeavour (John)

            January 13, 2014 at 09:40

            I will not! I cannot be silenced!!

            You too man.

  3. Fnuik

    January 13, 2014 at 08:47

    I think it looks good, for a typical all action Rambo game. Better than Cod…

    Reply

  4. Hammersteyn

    January 13, 2014 at 08:52

    Will need to see some proper gameplay. Looks a bit like it belongs on mobile tbh.

    Reply

  5. Stephen Snook

    January 13, 2014 at 08:59

    Playstation Move killer app.

    Reply

    • TiMsTeR1033

      January 13, 2014 at 09:11

      Killer app in this instance really means a bad thing…

      Reply

  6. Admiral Chief in Vegas

    January 13, 2014 at 08:59

    Hahaha, dat header!!!

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      January 13, 2014 at 09:03

      I thought for a second it was an in game screen shot.

      Reply

  7. Admiral Chief in Vegas

    January 13, 2014 at 09:03

    That video is damn cool! If it was still the year 2000

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      January 13, 2014 at 09:05

      I bet the master race blames console again about the graphics.

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief in Vegas

        January 13, 2014 at 09:07

        Rambo: Colonial Marine?

        Reply

        • Hammersteyn

          January 13, 2014 at 09:13

          Hahaha

          Reply

      • JJ's grand endeavour (John)

        January 13, 2014 at 09:08

        Damn consoles 🙂

        Reply

  8. TiMsTeR1033

    January 13, 2014 at 09:05

    Looks like this one will fail big time!! plus doesn’t look that great!

    Reply

  9. Alex Hicks

    January 13, 2014 at 09:07

    I’m so pleased they told me that was “the video game”. For a second there I was convinced it was live action …

    Reply

    • TiMsTeR1033

      January 13, 2014 at 09:10

      It felt so real I jumped in parts… truly a epic experience this game with be!

      Reply

    • Admiral Chief in Vegas

      January 13, 2014 at 09:10

      Hahaha

      Reply

  10. TiMsTeR1033

    January 13, 2014 at 09:07

    Rambo looks like a glorified ps2 game!

    Reply

    • iAmWeasel

      January 13, 2014 at 12:00

      Console gamers don’t care about graphics, remember?

      Reply

  11. Umar digs KOS-MOS

    January 13, 2014 at 09:13

    Header…Nail’d it!

    Reply

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      January 13, 2014 at 09:14

      You nailed that? O_O

      Reply

      • Umar digs KOS-MOS

        January 13, 2014 at 09:15

        With a nail “gun”….I don’t know what I’m doing

        Reply

        • TiMsTeR1033

          January 13, 2014 at 09:15

          Its okay, Not all of us are good at nailing things..

          Reply

          • JJ's grand endeavour (John)

            January 13, 2014 at 09:16

            Experience?

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            January 13, 2014 at 09:16

            LOOOL

          • TiMsTeR1033

            January 13, 2014 at 09:18

            Yeah I nailed a clown once! He did not enjoy hanging from the ceiling!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 13, 2014 at 09:19

            I bet it was funny though. Or was it the sad clown?

          • TiMsTeR1033

            January 13, 2014 at 09:20

            I am afraid of clowns, what you think.

          • Unavengedavo

            January 13, 2014 at 10:54

            You into some really kinky stuff there Timmy…

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 13, 2014 at 09:17

            That’s what she said.

          • Umar digs KOS-MOS

            January 13, 2014 at 09:18

            My nails always seem to fall out

          • TiMsTeR1033

            January 13, 2014 at 09:18

            Need more calcium in your diet old man

          • Umar digs KOS-MOS

            January 13, 2014 at 09:20

            I drink enough milky

          • TiMsTeR1033

            January 13, 2014 at 09:21

            Apparently not!

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          January 13, 2014 at 09:18

          This guy does…

          Reply

          • Umar digs KOS-MOS

            January 13, 2014 at 09:21

            Damn he’s so cool. Swag levels > 9000

      • Admiral Chief in Vegas

        January 13, 2014 at 09:16

        BWHAHAHAHA

        Reply

      • SheHulkNigri

        January 13, 2014 at 11:44

        That would explain the look of utter confused surprise…

        Reply

  12. Sentinal_Slug

    January 13, 2014 at 09:18

    It looks right terrible…. did they draw his face on in that one scene?

    Reply

    • TiMsTeR1033

      January 13, 2014 at 09:20

      With permanent marker!

      Reply

  13. TiMsTeR1033

    January 13, 2014 at 09:22

    Remember folks!

    Reply

    • hairyknees

      January 13, 2014 at 09:28

      You’re*

      😀

      Reply

      • JJ's grand endeavour (John)

        January 13, 2014 at 09:29

        Man that was bugging me.

        Reply

        • hairyknees

          January 13, 2014 at 09:30

          Me too… somebody needed to mention the elephant in the room 😛

          Reply

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 13, 2014 at 09:34

            ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT? Oh.. er.. never mind *cough*

          • JJ's grand endeavour (John)

            January 13, 2014 at 09:36

            Yes. Yes we are. I actually thought you were the boomer when you guys were playing L4D

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 13, 2014 at 09:40

            It’s all fun & games until you get puked on :/

          • JJ's grand endeavour (John)

            January 13, 2014 at 09:40

            Sounds like varsity

          • TiMsTeR1033

            January 13, 2014 at 09:42

            Or chased by a witch!

          • JJ's grand endeavour (John)

            January 13, 2014 at 09:45

            That sounds like varsity too.

          • hairyknees

            January 13, 2014 at 09:44

            NO SIR! I WAS CALLING YOU AN ELEPHANT!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 13, 2014 at 09:45

            Then I demand to be called Nelly!

          • hairyknees

            January 13, 2014 at 09:46

            NELLY IT IS! I FORESEE A GREAT DRINKING SONG SPAWNING FROM THIS! 😛

          • Anon A Mouse

            January 13, 2014 at 10:09

            There you go

      • TiMsTeR1033

        January 13, 2014 at 09:38

        Dude I did Not make the Image so don’t blame me…

        Reply

        • JJ's grand endeavour (John)

          January 13, 2014 at 09:39

          I blame you for everything.

          Reply

          • TiMsTeR1033

            January 13, 2014 at 09:42

            Everything! You cut me deep man….

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 13, 2014 at 09:44

            He didn’t make you cut yourself, that’s your own fault 😉

          • JJ's grand endeavour (John)

            January 13, 2014 at 09:44

            Well you cut my damn legs off!

        • hairyknees

          January 13, 2014 at 09:43

          Don’t try weasel your way out of this one! The damage is done :'(

          Reply

          • TiMsTeR1033

            January 13, 2014 at 09:50

            Dude then why does it day MemeCenter?

          • hairyknees

            January 13, 2014 at 09:56

            Cleverly placed cover up I say! Smart move… smart move…

            (I’m totally joking btw) <3

          • TiMsTeR1033

            January 13, 2014 at 09:58

            I know your joking (Totally placed incorrect spelling) 😉

          • hairyknees

            January 13, 2014 at 10:02

            I like you’re style!

          • VampyricSquirrel Monk

            January 13, 2014 at 10:02

            your* 😛

          • hairyknees

            January 13, 2014 at 10:03

            NOBODY ASKED FOR YOU’RE OPINION!

          • VampyricSquirrel Monk

            January 13, 2014 at 10:04

            HAHAHAHAHA!

          • Jonah Cash

            January 13, 2014 at 10:03

            And thus the master becomes the student!!!

        • VampyricSquirrel Monk

          January 13, 2014 at 10:02

          You could have fixed it before posting it… sheesh… lazy graphics designers!

          Reply

          • TiMsTeR1033

            January 13, 2014 at 10:03

            Ill show you lazy… with a baseball bat.

    • Sageville

      January 13, 2014 at 10:02

      Invisible 50 Cal….

      Reply

  14. hairyknees

    January 13, 2014 at 09:28

    Header WIN! XD

    Reply

  15. RinceThis2014

    January 13, 2014 at 09:43

    What the crap did I just watch? 0-O Looks TERRIBLE!

    Reply

    • JJ's grand endeavour (John)

      January 13, 2014 at 09:46

      Probably was on an Xbox. Trolololo

      Reply

    • Admiral Chief in Vegas

      January 13, 2014 at 09:46

      Put on your year 2000 goggles and watch again!

      Reply

      • JJ's grand endeavour (John)

        January 13, 2014 at 09:47

        Is it just me or is his head really really big? Looks like a bobble head.

        Reply

    • TiMsTeR1033

      January 13, 2014 at 09:50

      Its a Ps2 game!

      Reply

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      January 13, 2014 at 09:52

      I’m sure it’ll look better once they implement TressFX.

      Reply

  16. Sageville

    January 13, 2014 at 09:53

    Rambo, like his hair, should remain in the 80’s

    Reply

    • SheHulkNigri

      January 13, 2014 at 11:42

      Nah. 80’s or not, this is just a waste of a damn fine license. (Again)
      First Blood was a great story of one man trying to survive, and that movie alone would make one damn fine game.

      Reply

  17. Kromas

    January 13, 2014 at 11:35

    I am sorry. You would rather want a demo like this?

    At least these guys are honest and I will support them if the game looks even remotely fun to play.

    Reply

  18. Gr8_Balls_o_Fire

    January 13, 2014 at 12:08

    It should be focussed 3rd-person. I predict this may be a 4-6/10 game.. It has so much potential. Nice violence!

    Reply

  19. Devourer of Small Bunnies

    January 13, 2014 at 13:56

    This header makes my life worth living <3

    Reply

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