I cannot contain my indifference for Final Fantasy XIII: Lightning Returns. I enjoyed a great deal of Final Fantasy XIII and its cleverer-than-you-think paradigm shift battle system and Final Fantasy XIII-2 is one of the best games in the series in ages, but I’ve had it up to my eyeballs with the entire Fabula Nova Crystallis saga. Plus Vanille’s in it, and if I have to hear her any more I may just have to defenestrate myself…even if she has got a funny new hat. And yet, this recap of the events so far is utterly charming.
Mostly because it looks exactly the the Final Fantasy games that I actually loved; the 16-bit ones available on the Super Nintendo, before Final Fantasy VII on the PlayStation and PC ruined everything.
While I have absolutely no interest in ever playing Lightning Returns, I would happily play this, if it were real.
“Join us as we look back on the stories of FINAL FANTASY XIII and FINAL FANTASY XIII-2 that shaped Lightning into the heroine she is today,” says Square Enix “ as she and a band of unlikely heroes came together to save the world.”
Final Fantasy XIII: Lightning Returns is coming to wrap up the saga and ruin Valentines day on PS3 and Xbox 360 on February 14. The game’s been out in Japan since last year, and response there has been rather favourable, but I don;t care. I just want to see the Fabula Nova Crystallis nonsense done. Sucks for me though, because final Fantasy XV will be based on the same sodding mythology.
Last Updated: January 30, 2014
oVg 60fps > 30fps
January 30, 2014 at 14:35
ARGHHhhhh….
Hammersteyn
January 30, 2014 at 14:40
Hahahaha
XWheme1937
January 31, 2014 at 00:48
?? ?????’? e?-???e ???e? $81/?? ?? ??e ???e??e?. ??e ??? ?ee? ???e? ???? ???? ??? ??? ?????? ??? ???? ????? ?e? ??e?? ??? $19648 ???? ??????? ?? ??e ???e??e? ??? ? ?e? ?????. ??? ??e? ?? ???? ???e fox800.com
FoxOneZA
January 30, 2014 at 15:02
And then….
http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2014-01/tmp/webdr06/28/18/anigif_8bddd25826a104517977dba5633a3609-1.gif
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January 30, 2014 at 15:08
THIS
FoxOneZA
January 30, 2014 at 15:18
o.O
RinceThis2014
January 30, 2014 at 14:36
Just dropping this and running…
Rags
January 30, 2014 at 14:42
Please explain this meme to a non FF player? Tried googling, but got nothink! thx 🙂
RinceThis2014
January 30, 2014 at 14:45
Hehe. I made it. She spends 90% of the game sighing! Like you won’t believe! The voice acting of the other one, Vanille, is even worse!
Rags
January 30, 2014 at 14:57
Thanks Ill check some gameplay vids on youtube then 🙂
Rags
January 30, 2014 at 20:38
Oh damn its Liara! Nononono. Not going to watch any more. She only exists in Mass Effect for me 😛
oVg 60fps > 30fps
January 30, 2014 at 14:54
Try playing FFXIII loud and the people in the other room will think you are watching child porn.
Rags
January 30, 2014 at 14:55
Lol, having never played the games I can’t tell if jailbait or not. 😛
Rags
January 30, 2014 at 15:07
So googling some I see anything from 19-1619 years old. I imagine at that age her boobs would have sunk low enough to reach the bottom of the Pacific Ocean’s Japanese Trench. Hmm I still remember some uni geography. 😛
http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Oerba_Dia_Vanille
Rags
January 30, 2014 at 15:13
She seems very chilled too. Ultimate weapon is nirvana 😀
RinceThis2014
January 30, 2014 at 14:57
BWHAAHAHAH! Gods, but that is true.
Hammersteyn
January 30, 2014 at 14:58
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!
Umar Break Dancing Cyborg
January 30, 2014 at 14:37
FF 13-2 one of the best??….That game was garbage….I couldn’t bring myself to finish it
RinceThis2014
January 30, 2014 at 14:40
That coming from you puts Geoff in such a bad light he may as douse himself in petrol and drop a lighter!
Umar Break Dancing Cyborg
January 30, 2014 at 14:41
Well, he wanted to like a shitty game, I hope he feels bad, very bad! not petrol bad, but Zoidberg bad!
oVg 60fps > 30fps
January 30, 2014 at 14:40
Same, I did finish it but then realized that it was Episodic and milked for DLC.
I do not know who is worse, CAPCOM or Square. DLC endings? WTF?
I use the CD as a tea coaster.
Umar Break Dancing Cyborg
January 30, 2014 at 14:42
Yeah man, DLC super bosses pissed me off so much, as that is my favorite part of an RPG 🙁 … And the story was so paper thin….sigh
oVg 60fps > 30fps
January 30, 2014 at 14:45
I now realize just how cool FF12 was even if the director had a nervous breakdown halfway into production.
Umar Break Dancing Cyborg
January 30, 2014 at 14:46
I find it amazing how it went from HUGE open-world to a straight line constricted corridor
oVg 60fps > 30fps
January 30, 2014 at 14:48
Blame modern tech. The narrative cant keep up with todays production values. So the level design is created first, then a narrative is thrown on top.
Umar Break Dancing Cyborg
January 30, 2014 at 14:50
But look at Mass Effect. Japanese devs can tell a damn good story butt hey so stuck in their horrible ways…Sigh I hope 15 will bring 15 back to form
Exalted Overlord Geoffrey Tim
January 30, 2014 at 14:42
the entire Fabula Nova Crystallis saga is horseshit all of it.
RinceThis2014
January 30, 2014 at 14:43
YES!
oVg 60fps > 30fps
January 30, 2014 at 14:44
BUT BUT VERSUS… DONT Forget VERSUS… 😛
Umar Break Dancing Cyborg
January 30, 2014 at 14:45
Nope I can’t say I agree, FF 13 and 13 -2 are bags of doodoo (Even though I enjoyed 13). But the actual lore of FNC is actually pretty damn good. But F**King SE decided to bury the story under heaps of datalogs … The overall intended lore is damn good, but the execution was horrible. Apparently Type-0 does the saga justice
Exalted Overlord Geoffrey Tim
January 30, 2014 at 14:47
Your argument is wrong. What you’ve said is FalCie.
Umar Break Dancing Cyborg
January 30, 2014 at 14:48
Damn you! Go read up on it!
Please L’cie my point as well!!
oVg 60fps > 30fps
January 30, 2014 at 14:50
one can only HOPE
Umar Break Dancing Cyborg
January 30, 2014 at 14:52
Geoff is such a C’ieth bag, god!
RinceThis2014
January 30, 2014 at 14:49
Okay, crap that really got me! HAHAHAHAH!
oVg 60fps > 30fps
January 30, 2014 at 14:49
tee hee hee
Tarisma
January 30, 2014 at 15:37
All the PS3 generation FF games are a disgrace. They never happened in my mind.
oVg 60fps > 30fps
January 30, 2014 at 14:38
Lightning XIII Returns. The ultimate cosplay rosetta stone.
RinceThis2014
January 30, 2014 at 14:38
Agree with almost everything you said Geoff. However, your attitude to FF7, the best EVER made, shows some deep issue you need sorted…
Hammersteyn
January 30, 2014 at 14:40
Agreed
Exalted Overlord Geoffrey Tim
January 30, 2014 at 14:42
FF6 > FF7. The end.
oVg 60fps > 30fps
January 30, 2014 at 14:46
FF9> ALL
Hironobu Sakaguchi
RinceThis2014
January 30, 2014 at 14:47
Take your tail and LEAVE!
Exalted Overlord Geoffrey Tim
January 30, 2014 at 14:48
9 is better than 7 too.
RinceThis2014
January 30, 2014 at 14:48
I see what you are doing…
Hammersteyn
January 30, 2014 at 14:48
WTF!
Umar Break Dancing Cyborg
January 30, 2014 at 14:49
And 6
oVg 60fps > 30fps
January 30, 2014 at 14:52
greater 😛
Exalted Overlord Geoffrey Tim
January 30, 2014 at 14:53
http://www.dimensionsinfo.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Dimension-of-a-Cheese-Grater.jpg
oVg 60fps > 30fps
January 30, 2014 at 15:02
Brenz
January 30, 2014 at 17:52
your opinion is still wrong
Hammersteyn
January 30, 2014 at 14:57
Yeah this was the best part from 9
oVg 60fps > 30fps
January 30, 2014 at 15:11
Before they hired Leona Lewis to do the music instead of their trademark melodies. FAIL
Tarisma
January 30, 2014 at 15:39
You sir win
RinceThis2014
January 30, 2014 at 14:46
There is a special hell for people who say this. It involves being stuck in a room, with Vanellie’s voice on loop.
Kensei Seraph Moe Ninja
January 30, 2014 at 17:39
Why is it that I’ve finished FF6 twice (kinda want to go for another playthrough) and I haven’t been able to finish FF7 once?
Personally I blame already knowing that Aerith DIES. She’s already become my favourite character.
Brenz
January 30, 2014 at 17:51
your opinion is wrong
Hammersteyn
January 30, 2014 at 14:42
Still have no idea what’s going on even when I played it. I should know who she is? she’s the destroyer of the FF series. She needs to be stopped.
oVg 60fps > 30fps
January 30, 2014 at 15:04
I had no clue. All I know is that using TIME TRAVEL is the ultimate cop out.
Exalted Overlord Geoffrey Tim
January 30, 2014 at 14:51
Needless to say, I wont be reviewing this. 😀
Hammersteyn
January 30, 2014 at 14:56
I nominate you to review this after saying 9 is better than 7. Dressed as Kefka Palazzo (refresh for image) seeing how you like six so much
RinceThis2014
January 30, 2014 at 14:58
And you can f**k off if you think I am. I say use Umar!
oVg 60fps > 30fps
January 30, 2014 at 15:07
Bring this man back to sort this shit out
SQUARE!!! You EA of the East.
Exalted Overlord Geoffrey Tim
January 30, 2014 at 15:15
The Guch. And his Guch moustache, which gives him his mystical powers.
oVg 60fps > 30fps
January 30, 2014 at 15:21
– the pedo bear d 😛
Matthew Holliday
January 30, 2014 at 15:29
oVg 60fps > 30fps
January 30, 2014 at 15:33
lol
Shade
January 31, 2014 at 08:59
lol was the article suppose to read like this: “no interest in every playing Lightning Returns” isn’t it supposed to be ever? Nah but anyway I never played the old FF’s so I kinda liked the new FF’s 13 – 13,2 so I’m very excited to play Lightning returns actually… She looks so shiny @.@