The Lazygamer List – Collector’s Editions that we want to see next

We’re suckers for special editions of games here at Lazygamer. After all, how else do you explain Darryn taking out a loan so that he could by the Stone Cold Steve Austin Jockstrap Edition of WWE 2K15? And that’s a  problem that won’t be solved in the near future.

We love us a good collector’s edition, and we’re already making plans to get the Call of Duty Black Ops 3 Juggernog Edition, because it has a freakin’ fridge! But here’s a bunch of games that we’d love to see ship with a few…extras.

Batman Arkham Knightfall – Be The Batman Edition

• The game
• Steel book casing
• Bat-Mite skin
• A once-off offer to have your parents murdered by a professional criminal, the horrific experience of seeing this unfold before your eyes having the effect of spurring you on a lifelong quest to bring justice to your city as you train your mind, body and soul
• Branded body bags for your dead parents. Keep the corpses of your parents fresh with a cadaver bag that has the Arkham logo proudly emblazoned on it!
• Season Pass (Lolno, as if Warner Bros. Interactive would allow us to do that. Pony up sucka)

Mad Max: The Fast and the Furiosa Edition

• SO SHINY
• SO CHROME
• I LIVE, I DIE, I LIVE AGAIN
• Entrance to Valhalla
• One developer will be on hand to “witness” you
• Some of that chrome spray crap that the War Boys get high on
• The game
• High chance that you may have a baby brother who was perfect in every way
• Art book
• High-Octane crazy fuel-blood AKA a can of Redbull

Half-Life 3: Silent Protagonist 1+2=? Edition

• …
• …
• …
• No game
• It will never happen
• Box of tissues to wipe away excessive tears
• Invisible crowbar
• Imaginary HEV suit
• Non-existent Gordon Freeman figurine

Final Fantasy VII Remake: Hype Train Edition

• Buster sword keychain
• 1/100 scale model of Midgar hype train
• Exclusive access to Final Fantasy VIII Remake beta
• One Winged Angel DLC character unlock (defeat Sephiroth AS Sephiroth!)
• Limited toggle retro graphics on/off option
• The game
• Shinra’s all-purpose hair gel (guaranteed to keep hair pointy permanently)
• Authentic phoenix down feather plucked from the finest of pigeons
• $%#@! Barret Plushie
• Pen and paper
• Fake Square Enix postal address
• Envelope with pre-stamped ‘this is what the game should’ve been’ text
• Disappointment ointment

Fallout 4: Gone Fission Edition

Fallout 4 already has a ridiculous Collector’s Edition, coming with a large and unwieldy phone holder that’s decidedly Pip-Boy shaped. It’s become rather sought after, selling out everywhere (before popping up on eBay) – but it’s honestly not good enough.

Here’s what Fallout 4’s Collector’s Edition should contain:

• The game. Obviously.
• Your own chunk of enriched Uranium! Why simulate radiation poisoning, when you can experience it for real!
• Real live scorpions and cockroaches, so you can breed your own super RAD mutated ones!
• A Dog. Digital companionship is for chumps! Get your own canine companion – just hope that it hasn’t been sitting on the shelves for months.
• A pre-made list of excuses for the game’s inevitable bugs

Last Updated: July 16, 2015