Home Gaming Destiny The Taken King sure does have some sexy new gear and weapons

Destiny The Taken King sure does have some sexy new gear and weapons

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Destiny-The-Taken-King-gear-(17)

Welcome, true believers, to another episode of Adventures in Destiny Addiction! When we last left Darryn, he was busy thrashing at his screen after losing his 14th Iron Banner match of control in a row, before he assumed a foetal position and started weeping about his rank in that event.

And that’s a common ailment in Destiny. You might have a friend who has retreated into a dark and dank corner, which is the preferred habitat for many a player after their skin has been reduced to a translucent glow that cannot handle natural sunlight.

So how do you coax them out? By letting them get a whiff of some loot from the game. Yes, nothing is better at reintroducing Destiny players to society, by trapping them in a cage with Doc D’s patented formula of Upcoming Premium-priced Expansion Gear and Guns.

With my new formula from Destiny The Taken King, you can rest assured that even the most dedicated of Thorn-wielding level 34 Hunters will be unable to resist taking a peek at what they’ll be shunning their friends and family for in September. Here’s a sample of things to come:

It’s kind of weird when you think about it. Here is a game, where I will plug untold hours of my life into attaining that loot, in a process which is essentially the pursuit of grabbing a weapon that can deal bigger numbers of damage to enemies who can resist many, many more numbers of your onslaught.

It’s a very weird philosophy that applies to just about any game, but what the hell, I’m going to fall for it again in September when Destiny The Taken King arrives. Anyway, back to the sales pitch:

Order now, and I’ll throw in a free can of deodorant. Because only the Traveller knows just how sweaty a Guardian gets after barely surviving the Prison of Elders. And if it’s good enough for Jaren Ward’s last words, it’s good enough for you! Yours, not mine!

Last Updated: July 30, 2015

6 Comments

  1. Any indication on when the story mode DLC will be releasing? 😉

    Reply

    • Nikola

      July 30, 2015 at 10:24

      hahahaha!

      Reply

  2. Francois Knoetze

    July 30, 2015 at 10:34

    had a nice crucible session this morning early. Lines went wonky last night and nearly had a mini heard attack. can’t wait for the new loot and guns

    Reply

  3. Jonah Cash

    July 30, 2015 at 10:52

    Ooooohhhhh I want all of it! Also I saw you tried your hand at the Iron Banner last night for a while… good on you. We should team up and share the joy and misery equally. I had a good run at one stage, won 6 lost 2. Then I lost 2 in a row, I stopped after that. Level 2 already so no worries about getting to at least to 3!

    Reply

    • The D

      July 30, 2015 at 11:43

      So far I’ve won buggerall and lost everything. ONE DAY DAMMIT!

      Reply

      • Jonah Cash

        July 30, 2015 at 12:34

        If I see you on again I will try and join you, maybe we can find 4 other good players and help us along!

        Reply

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