You know we’ve been trying to bring you more gadget and tech reviews here at Lazygamer. When I saw this, I just couldn’t help myself – I had to share the glorious new invention with all of you. Seeing as I’m currently wearing a Sony SmartBand for review, this seemed to hit rather close to, um, home.
UK-based sex toy outlet, Bondara (via HuffingtonPost), has revealed a new prototype for SexFit, the world’s first couple’s sexual fitness tracker. Much like a FitBit, SmartBand or Gear, it’s all about tracking your activity, improving and becoming more fit. While I will be reviewing my beloved Smart Band soon, I’m not equipped to review this particular device:
Worn at the base of the penis and connected to a free mobile app via Bluetooth, this hi-tech cock ring not only stimulates a harder erection with the tight band but tracks your performance during sex using internal technology similar to a pedometer.
Vibrations can be set to a ‘pacing mode’ in time to a pre-set rhythm; matching the rhythm with your thrusts can ensure maximum stimulation, and I’m assuming a higher score rate. I wonder if there’s a combo bonus. The app tracks performance in key areas, including calories burned and thrusts per minute, but it’s the following quote that made me giggle a bit too much:
Much like other similar fitness tracker innovations, the SexFit allows the most dedicated users to share and compare their favourite sessions and impressive individual milestones with their peers on social media.
If this prototype goes, um, big, I could end up getting your sex stats on my Facebook news feed? No thanks! I really don’t need to read about how my friend not-so-little Timmy hit a new milestone of 77 thrusts per minute. I understand that sex toys are evolving, and this could be quite a cool gimmick for a popular device, but I don’t think it needs to go social. Somehow, in this time of oversharing everything, I like the idea of some kind of privacy.
Has the fitness craze just extended to its natural next step, or is this a sign that we are taking tech too far? Will this device offer daily quotas like my Smart Band? Currently I can clearly see if I don’t get enough sleep, or take enough steps in a day. What about a thrust count per day?
Last Updated: January 4, 2017
Alien Emperor Trevor
August 8, 2014 at 18:05
………………Martha! Job for you!
hairyknees
August 8, 2014 at 18:17
O_O
Sir Rants A Lot Llew
August 8, 2014 at 18:40
#interntestsexfit
hairyknees
August 8, 2014 at 18:41
You shut your fat mouth! 😛 <3
Alien Emperor Trevor
August 8, 2014 at 19:38
What’s that emoticon at the end? Has Geoff teabagged you already?
Sir Rants A Lot Llew
August 8, 2014 at 20:13
Loooool
Thats_how_I_Troll
August 11, 2014 at 10:02
HAHAHAHA! WEEZ WEEZ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Alien Emperor Trevor
August 8, 2014 at 19:38
Yes! #interntestsexfit
Hammersteyn
August 11, 2014 at 07:48
I thought he gets the jobs that he won’t enjoy?
Kromas
August 8, 2014 at 18:05
Would be really wrong if they accidentally misspelled pedometer to pedo-meter. 😛
Eric
August 8, 2014 at 18:14
An inappropriate name for this non-the-less
Sir GIF Sexy
August 8, 2014 at 18:33
I don’t know about y’all, but my SexFit ring needs to be at least… 7 times bigger… [cough].
Gareth L (That eXCheez Guy)
August 8, 2014 at 21:00
It’s doesn’t go on your hand. Well, it’s not meant to at least.
J_Joestar
August 8, 2014 at 19:40
The word Pedometer always feels awkward to me, i always picture it as something Chris Hansen would use to find pedophiles.
Now having it associated with something you put on your junk only strengthens that mental image.
Gareth L (That eXCheez Guy)
August 8, 2014 at 20:59
Two things:
1. Fake Photoshop “pink” colour is fake
2. Why not call it a Penometer?
Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)
August 9, 2014 at 18:58
xxxboner? xxxboned?
MichaelMatusowsky
August 10, 2014 at 12:22
wat in actual fuck
OldRedNed
August 10, 2014 at 14:30
Does it come in ‘pencil’ size? I can’t wait to throw away my tweezers.
HvR - Still dislikes Random.or
August 11, 2014 at 07:44
While we are on the subject of cockrings…..
Who saw Gavin on the Network last night, accidentally channel hopped unto it. Seem like he was talking about gaming addiction arguing against a libtard lady from Cape Town who wants to ban all children from playing games. But I only caught the last 4 minutes.
Hammersteyn
August 11, 2014 at 07:50
What happened to a normal Sondag middag slaapie? Now we have to clap the gym in our beds boet?
HvR - Still dislikes Random.or
August 11, 2014 at 07:52
M-M-M-M-M-MONSTER THRUST!!!!!!!!
Andre116
August 11, 2014 at 13:24
Does it allow for single player?