So we meet again collector’s edition. But this time, you shall not win. I will not give in to the shiny lure of your resin figure and various assorted digital bonuses. Because this time, I’m too broke to afford you because I happen to have spent all my cash on a complete run of Peter Porker: The Amazing Spider-Ham! HA HA! Wait, these damn comics are worthless…crap.
One of the reasons I’ve been slobbering like Homer Simpson over Batman: Arkham Knight, is that you get to drive around in the Batmobile in that game. And that specific incarnation of the Batmobile is fantastic. But what if I told you that a Batman game exists where you can drive all of the previous cars that Batman has pimped out? Because such a game does exist.
Finally, finally I have a laptop again that can handle the strain of daily writing, video editing and surfing rather questionable websites. It’s been a tough two weeks, and even though it cost me an arm and a leg, it was worth it to get a new hard drive. I’ve got just over 900 gigabytes of space to fill up on the storage medium. Which should hold roughly a quarter of my special folder GIF contents.
I’m rather thrilled that a new Mortal Kombat is on the way, because if there’s one thing that my great grandma taught me it’s that you can never have too much bloody violence or too many decaptations and disembowelments in life. Gram gram was also rather mental and dangerous which is why she was locked away but that’s a story for another day. Anyway, new Mortal Kombat kontent!
When it comes to Assassin’s Creed games, Ubisoft has normally thrown every single able body possible at their franchise, with numerous teams helping to develop an annual backstab ‘em up release. Throughout all that development however, Ubisoft Montreal has remained in charge of the organised chaos ever since the first game popped up for a sneaky kill. This year however, the next Assassin’s Creed game is in the hands of someone else.
Gentlemen, there is a game on the way. A game that will test you to your limits. A game that will have you dying over and over again as you rewind your timestream like a suicidal character on Doctor Who. That game is Super Time Force Ultra. And it’s headed to your PC.
I’m under no pretence that the next Naruto game is going to be a radical departure from previous entries in the franchise. It’ll still be the prettiest example of unpredictable ninja action, make no mistake, but even my optimism has limits. Still, at least the game will be packing some new modes, which should make this an attractive package for the tens of folk out there who have yet to play a Naruto: Such A Long Title No Jutsu.
So. July. You’re looking good. It’s been a year since we last met. You, uh, you got my games this month? Waitaminute…this bag is empty? YOU HAVE BETRYAED ME FOR THE LAST TIME JULY!
Assassin’s Creed: Unity may be many months away, but in the meantime, you can create your assassin on a website that Ubisoft has set up. And it’s pretty neat.
If I had to give an award to the best E3 press conference this year, I’d give it to Microsoft. Now while some people may not have dug all the games that were shown, that isn’t exactly the point I’m making here. What Microsoft did, was create a show that was just pure games. And that’s impressive. So impressive actually, that even Sony had some praise for their rivals.
I’m the bomb and I’m about to blow up! I’m the bomb and I’m about to blow up! Dead Island 2 may have won the award for best E3 trailer this year, but it’s not the only game set on an archipelago that is infested with the undead. Because it’s finally time to…Escape Dead Island.
I’ve been quite adamant in this claim, and I’ll say it again: This year’s Call Of Duty: Advanced Warfare will be the prettiest game ever seen in the history of that franchise, and it’s going to set a new graphical benchmark for the series as a whole. But to get to that point, a lot of hard work was needed. After all, new-gen explosions and Kruger suits aren’t as simple as they look.
I got chills, they’re multiplying! And I’m losing control! Cause the power, you’re supplying…it’s electrifying! I may have listened to too much Grease! Woo oo oo! Eskom cut my power twice today! Woo oo oo!
By now, you’ve heard me wax lyrical on how Batman: Arkham Knight will be one of the best games of 2015, if ever. I’ bias as hell, I’ll admit it but that’s a good thing in my case. You won’t just get to be the Batman in the final Rocksteady game however. You’ll also get a chance to be the main squeeze of the Joker, Harley Quinn.
Confession: I kind of dig The Sims. But for all the wrong reasons. While I give little to no fraks about all those various expansions for fashionable clothing, what I do enjoy doing is using that game to create nightmare scenarios with the little digital people inside my PC. Like creating a pyrophobic glutton and then surrounding his fridge with several fireplaces. Anyway, new trailer!