Gordon Freeman returns…as a massive statue 
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Darryn Bonthuys
January 22, 2013 at 1:30 pm

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What’s that you say? Gaming has some great heroes these days. Korvo from Dishonored, Kratos from God of War and Desmond McMonkeyface from the Assassin’s Creed franchise? I scoff at your selection. Scoff to the max. Back in the day when those guys were nothing more than pen on paper diaper concept drawings, there was one hero who stood tall and kept damn quiet. Gordon Freeman was his name, and he was an ass-kicking scientist in a biohazard suit and spectacles, swinging a crowbar around and kicking head-crab head-ass. And now he’s been immortalized, in statue form.

Valve buddy Gaming Heads has brought out a replica figure of the famed hero, that will quite literally towering over your figure collection. The Gordon Freeman statue clocks in at 20 inches in height, or rounded off to the far more superior metric system, around 50 centimeters tall. Gordy will be out in the third season of this year, and will set you back $320 (R2800) for a vanilla edition statue, while the SMG toting collector’s edition will cost you $340 (R3000). At least you won’t have to worry about having lingering crabs while this is around.

Right?

Because he's the writer that Lazygamer deserves, but not the one it actually needs right now. So we'll hunt him. Because he can't take it. Because he's not a hero. He's a loud-mouthed journalist, a watchful procrastinator. A dork knight.