Borderlands 2 – The guns of Pandora 
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Darryn Bonthuys
September 18, 2012 at 3:30 pm

I wanted to make some sort of Guns of Navarone reference, but my brain am tired.

There’s no denying that world of Pandora in Borderlands is quirky, humorous and wants you dead. Fortunately, the planet is teeming with natural resources, and by natural resources, I mean guns. Lots of guns. So many, many guns littering the planet. Here’s a look at the arms manufacturers from across the two games.

Bandit guns

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If you need something that can shoot stuff at a high velocity, while being labelled with enough typos to make a grammar Nazi keel over, then Bandit guns are your best bet. Ramshackle, MacGuyvered remnants of better weapons, the only noticeable trait of these weapons is that they contain larger ammo clips, to keep the action going.

Jakobs

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If it took more than one bullet, then you weren’t using a Jakobs. When it comes to firearms, Jakobs is the Dirty Harry of the Borderlands universe. Tough, massive and with an eye for classic design, Jakobs guns focus primarily on revolvers, sniper rifles and shotgun models,a and pack no environmental effect, while being slow to reload and fire from.

Still, if you’re looking for a weapon with very little recoil and enough stopping power to down a badmutha skag, while flexing some Western muscle, then Jakobs is the gun of choice.

The Jakobs family has been assembling quality firearms for over 300 years, and although the world has changed quite a lot since Montgomery’s grandfather bolted on the sandalwood grip of the company’s first revolver, our family tradition and commitment to building a superior product is still as true as ever. The employees at Jakobs may not all share the same last name anymore, but we’re still family.

And we want you to join us. When you invest in a Jakobs, you’re not only getting the most powerful firearm money can buy; you’re also joining the biggest family of satisfied gun owners the world over. Whether you’re shouldering one of our renowned rifles or staring down the barrel of one of our timeless pistols, you can be sure each and every shot packs the reliability and strength that only a Jakobs can offer.

Maliwan

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Looking for a gun that shoots elemental effects? Then Maliwan should be the first manufacturer on your list. While the base damage of their guns isn’t anything to show off about, the sheer chance to drench an opponent in fire, acid, lightning bolts or explosives makes these guns stand out from the pack.

Isn’t it time you take your weapons to the next level? Sure, old-fashioned slug throwers have served you well in the past, but so did bologna sandwiches. You’ve grown. Your tastes have changed. They’ve refined. It’s time you had a gun that evolved with you and didn’t feel like a family heirloom.

Maliwan believes in honouring the past by embracing the future. Every Maliwan weapon is designed by the skilled technicians in our bleeding-edge laboratories to pack as much elemental punch as possible. Our staff of artisans crafts each weapon to look as good as it performs. Maliwan offers a full line of pistols, shotguns, rifles, and rocket launchers to fit every style.

If it’s not elemental, it’s not a Maliwan.

Dahl

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Focusing on providing guns that have less recoil, this is the gun for the militant paranoid who reckons judgement day is coming. Clad in camouflage paint, Dahl guns are named after animals and are great for putting their namesakes into an early grave as well.

Dahl has been outfitting the defenders of freedom for over a century, and isn’t about to stop anytime soon. We’ve built our company on the foundation that dead customers can’t be repeat customers – keeping you alive is in our best interest! We also know that those of you doing the government’s secret dirty work have enough to contend with and don’t need to fight your weapon, too.

That’s why we at Dahl have strived to manufacture the smoothest and most stable guns on the market. And when you get surrounded – and you will – you’ll be glad to know your Dahl has been precision machined to remain as accurate during sustained fire as humanly possible. So make sure you bring a Dahl with you the next time you go on assignment.

It just might bring you back.

Tediore

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Cheap, mediocre damage capabilities and pretty much the most common gun on Pandora. So what actually makes Tediore great? Going with a quality over quantity motto, Tediore guns are lightning quick on the reload and spew forth tons of rounds. Higher grade models even have the ability to regenerate lost ammo, allowing players to shove even more high calibur projectiles down the throats of enemies, from this blue collar gun for the working class.

Tediore was founded on the principle that no family should be without the protection that an affordable, lightweight firearm provides. Whether you’re planning on taking little Billy out to the fields for his first pheasant hunt or you need to chase some trouble off your front porch, Tediore will be there for you.

Over the years, Tediore has built a reputation among the working class men and women of this land for providing fast-reloading weapons that anyone, on any budget, can afford. So the next time you’re headed down to the Save-N-Save, why not put a little piece (sic) of mind in the cart and grab yourself a Tediore? Tediore’s pistols, shotguns, sub-machine guns and rifles can be found at major retailers nationwide.

Eridian

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Alien, unique and filled with infinite energy, provided that you take the time to recharge them, Eridian weapons are leftover guns from when the mysterious alien race that inhabited Pandora was in charge. A more elegant weapon, for a more civilised age, Eridian weapons are prized possessions amongst Vault hunters.

Vladof

There’s a simple philosophy behind Vladof guns: Even if your aim may be worse than a Rakk Hive stepping on a shotgun, the more bullets you spray, the better your chances are at hitting something. That’s why Vladof guns have a mental firing rate, something which complements their average damage and terrible accuracy specifications.

We see the pain in your eyes. We sense your anger, your feelings of betrayal, and your disgust. And we at Vladof are with you. The time is coming, comrades! The time to stand up and be heard is nearly upon us and you must be prepared. You must be armed! Vladof firearms were designed for this moment in time.

Seize it! When you shoulder a Vladof, you will know at once that you are not alone and that you can be heard. You will be heard! All Vladof weapons are constructed in the factories of your brethren and designed to pack the highest firing rate possible. The oppressors will be fast – we know this – Vladof helps you to be even quicker. Rise with Vladof.

Together we will forge a better tomorrow!

S&S Munitions

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Worried that you’ll run out of bullets before your foe runs out of face to shoot off? The S&S has you covered. S&S guns come with deeper magazine clips, and a slight boost to base damage, all wrapped up in a unique black and yellow paint job.

The brothers who first founded S&S Munitions did so with the goal to not just make a weapon, but to change an industry. As avid outdoorsmen with time in the military, they knew the power of your weapon only mattered when it was loaded.

Tired of seeing their clips run dry at the most inopportune times, they set out to develop the highest capacity guns on the market. S&S Munitions is now the standard-bearer for large capacity, easy-to-change magazines. Today, our commitment to functional technological advancements doesn’t end there. S&S Munitions also makes some of the most powerful tech weapons on the market.

If power and capacity are your concerns, then say yes to S&S.

Torgue

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Back in black and down to business, Torgue guns are all about getting the job done. A common, yet decent quality class of guns, they’re the Jack of all trades when it comes to guns, offering reliable perks in all fields with a well rounded setup.

The next time you go shopping for a new gun, ask yourself one question: Are you a man? If you answer in the affirmative, then you’re ready for a Torgue. You see, we at Torgue make guns for real men. Tough guys. Badasses.

The kind of guys your dad was and you hope to be! Torgue doesn’t screw around making lightweight toys and we sure as hell aren’t concerned with selling you a stylish accessory like those guys in the hip-huggers over at Maliwan. No. We make them tough, and we make them heavy. It’s up to you to make ‘em dead.

Do it with a Torgue.

Hyperion

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Great quality, at a great price, that’s a Hyperion gun for you. It’s also pretty damn rare, but when it comes to the manufacture of any class of weapon, you’d be hard pressed to find anything better than Hyperion. Unless it’s Atlas.

There are many weapons in this world, but only the best have what it takes to bear the Hyperion insignia. Every gun that leaves our facility has been tested by multiple independent inspectors and is guaranteed to meet our impossibly high standards.

All Hyperion guns are meticulously calibrated by our technicians and certified to levels of accuracy never before seen in the industry. Whether you’re a professional marksman or simply someone who appreciates a finely-crafted piece of machinery, you can’t go wrong with a Hyperion.

Financing is available to those who qualify.

Atlas

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When it comes to pure quality, the price is always right for an Atlas gun. Rare, expensive and packed with numerous features, Atlas guns pack a punch and fetch a high price on the black market, for their legendary perks and benefits when dealing with the natives of Pandora. High damage, reload and magazine capacities truly make Atlas guns something that the gods themselves would favour.

It is said that the Greek god Zeus fought for 10 long years against the titans, only to have the battle end in a draw. We at Atlas like to believe Zeus could have won the fight in half the time if only he had one of the guns from our legendary line of firearms.

All Atlas guns offer exceptional rate of fire, damage, and an epic level of high technology. Regardless of your god, you need not look to the heavens for salvation from adversity. Atlas weaponry can answer your prayers and grant you a power few mortals have ever experienced. Prove yourself as a true believer.

Join the select ranks of Atlas owners and become a god among men!

Borderlands is out on Friday for our little nation. But in the mean time, don’t forget to enter our rad contest either, where you can secure yourself a loot edition, if you’re feelin’ lucky that is.

Because he's the writer that Lazygamer deserves, but not the one it actually needs right now. So we'll hunt him. Because he can't take it. Because he's not a hero. He's a loud-mouthed journalist, a watchful procrastinator. A dork knight.